tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20029939494934391832024-03-14T02:06:03.504+00:00THE DOLL'S BLACK BOOK"The Happiness,bitter n love through every day of all the year"Akmaelindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16745045406002108500noreply@blogger.comBlogger602125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2002993949493439183.post-91667586948190987102018-05-28T18:30:00.001+01:002018-05-28T18:30:21.989+01:00Son-shine<div style="text-align: center;">
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<span style="background-color: white; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #3c4343; font-family: Avenir;"><span style="font-size: 15px;">Due to the new task as a mum, I spend a lot of time focusing on my little man who turned 8 months few days ago . Alhamdulillah. Time really flies. </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #3c4343; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 15px; text-align: left;">Parenting looks incredibly hard, and no matter how much research you do, no matter how many parenting books you read or courses you take, a lot of the time you're going to have to just learn it as you're experiencing it. It seems like one of those things that, no matter how much you prepare, you're still going to be learning all the time. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #3c4343; font-family: Avenir;"><span style="font-size: 15px;">For the past 8 months, I've been strapped in tight on an emotional rollercoaster (i haven't lose so much weight -in other words i am fat and juggling with work life +mum life), soaring up and whizzing down and then climbing back up again. To be honest, being a mum is really amazing but of course its really tiring especially dealing with sleepless nights, tonnes of crying, chasing your little man around since he starts to crawl and move around the house like nobody's business. Geez. </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #3c4343; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 15px; text-align: left;">As a new parent, it probably seems, at times, like you don't know what you're doing. But, just like any other super important job, no matter how prepared you are, you're still going to learn as you go along because you're dealing with a brand new and fragile angel or "anak </span><span style="color: #3c4343; font-family: Avenir;"><span style="font-size: 15px;">syurga"</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #3c4343; font-family: Avenir; font-size: 15px; text-align: left;">Something I would have not imagined after I gave birth to my little man 8 months ago. Alhamdulillah. So grateful to have my parents taking care of him. Well taken care of. Cant </span><span style="color: #3c4343; font-family: Avenir;"><span style="font-size: 15px;">wait to plan for his 1st birthday this Sept.</span></span></div>
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Akmaelindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16745045406002108500noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2002993949493439183.post-82465322700177393422017-10-19T17:42:00.000+01:002017-10-19T17:48:13.463+01:00My little man<div style="color: #5b4b4b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 11.699999809265137px; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 20px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 10px;">
Sorry this has taken me so long to post. I haven’t had a lot of time for long-format writing ever since I found out I was pregnant in January, exactly one month and a half after I got married. Found out I was 4 weeks pregnant two days before I left for my umrah trip with my husband and my parents. Alhamdulillah. It was really unexpected and I did play futsal that week (Honestly didn't know I was carrying my little one).</div>
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Right. So. 9 months being pregnant, I had the most terrible morning sickness ever but still gained almost 28kgs. For God sake, 28 kg gained is hell y'all. I was huge (perhaps now lessen gradually). My hormones changed 360 degrees. I became more grumpier than usual,hot tempered, emotionally disturbed(cried alot) and I had the "i hate my husband and i need my husband now"syndrome. Haha.<br />
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Labor! Not nearly so crappy as I expected, y’all. Turns out that all the anxiety, stress, and panic I lovingly tended beforehand were a huge waste of time and energy. Alhamdulillah. Allah has made it easy for me. .</div>
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I’ve always had an overwhelming fear of being pregnant and giving birth. For years, I got tunnel hearing whenever I thought about labor especially from my friends. The idea of an epidural was enough to make me put my head between my knees, and even the smell of a hospital made me faint. </div>
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I’ve come to realize that labors are as individual as fingerprints, no two stories are ever the same. My story is a happy one.<br />
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Doctor induced me at 2pm on my 39 weeks of pregnancy and my water broke at 6.30pm(bowel time was from 2-6pm coz I had my last mcd after they induced me). At first, they anticipated that I will be wheeled to the labor room the next morning but turns out, it took total of 9hrs from the induction. </div>
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So the drama began right after my water broke and every 10 minutes I am dancing, lying and leaning on my husband's shoulder ( for millionth of times apologising my wrong doings to him and my parents). That's when you "insaf" and appreciate your mum. So ppl, pls love your mum. Its not an easy job carrying you for 9 months and giving birth.</div>
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The nurses wheeled me to the labor room at 7.30pm after my doctor checked that I am 5cm dilated. C<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , "times" , serif;">ontractions were starting to blot me out, and there’s very little break between them. I’m officially keening, and suddenly the idea of a needle in my spine sounds great. I want the epidural, I say. An hour later, anesthetic doctor knocked the door and brought the magic drug.</span></div>
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So yes, I took the epidural. Epidural was magical although the he gave me 80% of dose instead of 100%. I could feel the contraction on my back. My labor room was full with cheerleaders including my husband. Well to be honest, I remember there were 6 of them including my doctor (my gynae is my dad's friend anyway). During the battle, I vividly remember he said "push push je mcm you main futsal"<br />
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I was in labor for about two hours and gave birth 10.57PM. There was pain, but for the most part it was manageable (see aforementioned painkillers- epidural the bomb), and it was definitely overshadowed by the joy. The anxiety, the discomforts of pregnancy, the labor–for me, all of it was a fair trade. Babies are <em>awesome</em>. Especially my baby. Very manja-ish. This was his first picture.<br />
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My little precious weight at 3.46kg with 49cm longer. cant define the feeling when the doctor placed him on my chest right after I gave birth. My first word that came out was "Hi sayang". </div>
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Here i am writing as a mom.</div>
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So grateful to be given this opportunity. This is the biggest achievement for the year besides being promoted. Hehehe. Alhamdulillah. All praises to Allah. I have another 14 days before my pantang is over. Yayyyyy. I miss going to malls and coffee shops.For now, I am resting well for 90 good days before going back to office. I am still trying to fit into my new commitment as a mom, feeding him with my milk and formula milk as well as changing diapers. Thank God my mum is assisting me besides dad and husband. </div>
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My little man is 1 month old.Time flies, the next thing I know he is one year. Alhamdulillah for this amazing experience and achievement.</div>
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Akmaelindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16745045406002108500noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2002993949493439183.post-75744085843215909342017-01-09T00:38:00.000+00:002017-01-17T07:00:40.572+00:00Everyday matters<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #3c4343; font-family: "avenir"; font-size: 15px;">One of the best things that happened in 2016 is to marry my best friend whom i knew since 2011.</span><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #3c4343; font-family: "avenir";"><span style="font-size: 15px;">The old me would never, in a million years, have believed that was possible after went through a lot of heart breaks. Trust me, it was a tough journey to get me there. Will share on the wedding pictures and prep. For now, Happy new year peeps!</span></span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #3c4343; font-family: "avenir"; font-size: 15px;">It's exciting to look forward to the year ahead 2017. May Allah always be with us:)</span></div>
Akmaelindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16745045406002108500noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2002993949493439183.post-82180348953817560272016-06-22T15:33:00.000+01:002016-06-22T15:33:14.315+01:00A u-turn<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: Oxygen; font-size: 13px; text-align: justify;">Life is very much like the world under the big top filled with the unexpected, the exciting, and the terrifying part. It has been almost three weeks since I left my exciting job as a market economic analyst in one of biggest islamic bank. </span><span style="background-color: white; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Oxygen; font-size: x-small;">It's hard for me to tear myself away from the bloomberg, reuters and the dealing room itself after 1 year and 9 months. I had a great time being an analyst, get to expand my knowledge on economics, networking and helpful colleagues. In case my boss is reading this, Thank you very much for being a good listener, never failed to give me full support during my upside-down dealing with exams and the knowledge you had poured to me. I am so grateful:)</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: Oxygen; font-size: 13px; text-align: justify;">My emotions were all over the place , one moment I was thrilled to start my new job (well not so new to me), one moment I am just scared of what my future will look like.. Back to my old place, doing things I used to love. Yes I did. I made a u-turn to my old place. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: Oxygen; font-size: 13px; text-align: start;">It can be tough to be proud of yourself without feeling as if you're boastful.. It's okay to admit that you did an amazing job on something or accomplished something you never thought you could. When you celebrate yourself and your achievements, you're focusing on the really good things about you and that's going to make self-love a lot easier. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: Oxygen; font-size: 13px; text-align: start;">Happy 17th Ramadhan everyone! Cheers for a better future:)</span></div>
Akmaelindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16745045406002108500noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2002993949493439183.post-72564808907066133432016-05-12T12:02:00.001+01:002016-05-12T12:02:33.698+01:00Sharing Stories : 6 months to go.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="color: #999999; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; text-align: justify;">So much of the attention cast on wedding preparations, I have lost an aunt whom I never-missed to hop and did sleep over whenever I am back at my kampung (Melaka hood) when I was little.. My Mak Lang Ros passed away around 3pm yesterday after battled with 4th stage of cancer. Sad. Life is too short.</span><span style="background-color: white; text-align: justify;">This Mak Lang of mine is my dad's closes cousin sister whom he grew up with and he never missed to pay her a visit everytime we are back in hometown. A person with a big heart.. Your kindness will always be remembered. Al- Fatihah to dearest Mak Lang Rosnah. I always wish you're papa's real sister. May Allah reward you Jannah..</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #999999; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Getting married - I don't know much about wedding dresses. The dress should be one of the concern at the moment right. Hmmm 6 months to go before the wedding, I am still enjoying my breakfast, lunch, dinner and supper without worrying my weight which obviously I am overweight right now ;(. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #999999; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Sadly, my futsal activities didn't help me much to loose any of my fats.My </span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">imaginations left soaring as my dream of the weddings to go with these picture-perfect gowns( definitely I must think of how to cover my aurat ). Aside, I finally booked preetypekture for the wedding reception and still finalising the solemnisation videographer. Besides, i am done with the pre-wed courses (Kursus Kahwin). Phewww. A lot more to go and seriously all you need is more $$$$ moolahhhhh.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #999999; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Hoping that I can get it sorted after Ramadhan which coming so soon... Honestly I can't wait for the Ramadhan to come. </span></div>
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Akmaelindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16745045406002108500noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2002993949493439183.post-36372480367276531032016-04-24T16:21:00.002+01:002016-04-24T16:21:52.307+01:00sharing stories: Engagement<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: Oxygen; font-size: 13px; text-align: justify;">When you're going through a tough time, usually the last thing you want to think about is the </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: Oxygen; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">good time to come</span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: Oxygen; font-size: 13px; text-align: justify;">. When faced with unhappiness or negative emotions, it can be hard to see through the rain clouds to a time when sunshine will </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: Oxygen; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">once again brighten your life</span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: Oxygen; font-size: 13px; text-align: justify;">. However, looking past those clouds to a brighter, better day is exactly what you need to do when times are tough. I used to be irritated by the notion that, when things are tough, they'll someday get better, but having been through some really tough storms and arriving in a place of sunshine, I know all too well how important focusing on the positive can be.</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: Oxygen; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Life is an adventure full of ups and downs.</span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: Oxygen; font-size: 13px; text-align: justify;"> You will never get rid of negativity altogether, so you might as well accept it and use those challenges to grow.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: Oxygen; font-size: 13px; text-align: justify;"> It's almost a month </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: Oxygen; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">I am engaged. </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Oxygen; font-size: 13px; text-align: justify;"> </span><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Oxygen; font-size: x-small;">Part of panicking to prepare and plan for the unplanned engagement took me less than 3 weeks. Phew.. The amount of stress amid preparing for my battle in exams in April was so tiring. Alhamdulillah, the event went well with the assistance from my mum and dad, dearest cousins and dear friends.( Special thanks to my best friend, Liyana for the arrangement, Hazlind for being my partner in crime, Shahirahtunnawar for the company and Sabrina for being planner)</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Oxygen; font-size: x-small;"><b>Venue & Caterer: The Atmosphere, Seri Kembangan (Weddingstudio)</b></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Oxygen; font-size: x-small;"><b>Make Up: Norashikin MUA</b></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Oxygen; font-size: x-small;"><span style="background-color: white;"><b>Dress & Veil: Mimpikita</b></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Oxygen; font-size: x-small;"><span style="background-color: white;"><b>Dais & Flowers Arrangement : Muassmo</b></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Oxygen; font-size: x-small;"><span style="background-color: white;"><b>Photographer : Sahabatlensa Photographer & Azizul</b></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Oxygen; font-size: x-small;"><span style="background-color: white;"><b>Candy Buffet : Norzila -cousin</b></span></span></div>
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Akmaelindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16745045406002108500noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2002993949493439183.post-31988100819918808342016-03-31T10:34:00.001+01:002016-04-07T20:06:31.212+01:00He puts ring on it :p<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: "oxygen";">Knowing when to open the door to your heart is the absolute best way to protect it. It's much easier said than done. After years of searching for the right guy, finding whats the best for me and trying to fit into one & another and crying over one relationship to another relationship, I was officially engaged last Sunday. Honestly, the preparation took both of families roughly around 3 weeks plus went well.. Alhamdulillah. Thanks to dearest cousins and friends who worked hard for the last minute plan, running here and there to ensure the small intimate event smooth.. </span><span style="background-color: white; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "oxygen";">I'm so incredibly grateful to have everyone around me.. Till the next post love..Still can't believe I am engaged to my best dude, a friend i called "bro"for years. </span></span></div>
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<br />Akmaelindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16745045406002108500noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2002993949493439183.post-6237912474642143362016-01-10T16:21:00.000+00:002016-01-10T16:21:24.617+00:00<div style="line-height: 1.8em; margin-bottom: 10px;">
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I cannot for the life of me believe that it is a first week of January 2016 already! Time truly has beaten me last year and I'm really not ready for this year 2016. What lies ahead? I feel like I'm in this really messy part of my life and other things have been for the past couple of months. I'm trying to figure it out as I go but it's a bit of a struggle and I feel like a drama queen to even be writing about this. But that's half the problem.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: Oxygen; font-size: 13px; text-align: start;">I'll be honest: I'm not the best at protecting my heart. I love love so much that sometimes I don't always make the best heart-related choices. For example, I cling to romantic notions of what I think something </span><em style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: Oxygen; font-size: 13px; text-align: start;">could</em><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: Oxygen; font-size: 13px; text-align: start;"> be and ignore what it </span><em style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: Oxygen; font-size: 13px; text-align: start;">is</em><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: Oxygen; font-size: 13px; text-align: start;">. I'm often so hopeful things will work out </span><em style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: Oxygen; font-size: 13px; text-align: start;">someday</em><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: Oxygen; font-size: 13px; text-align: start;"> that I often avoid dealing with what's happening </span><em style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: Oxygen; font-size: 13px; text-align: start;">now</em><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: Oxygen; font-size: 13px; text-align: start;">. (Healthy, I know...) When it comes to love, hopefulness isn't always a bad thing, but sometimes I'm so frantically hopeful that I swing the door to my heart wide open when it might be better slammed shut.</span></span><br />
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Akmaelindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16745045406002108500noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2002993949493439183.post-42972686652131420132015-12-06T14:45:00.000+00:002015-12-06T14:45:42.458+00:00Little time alone to cope..,<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: Oxygen; text-align: justify;">Personally, I enjoy being alone. I take great pleasure in a lot of things that involve spending time by myself, such as reading and writing. It </span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Oxygen;">has been awhile since my blog was updated. Too many things happening now and was extremely busy with my exams preparation and work. I had to juggle both in one time. Honestly I missed writing my blog talking about my work progress and everyday life. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Oxygen;"> Well, o</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: Oxygen; text-align: justify;">ne of the most intimidating things about alone time is that you're alone... with your thoughts. Doing things and keeping busy all of the time is a great way to avoid thinking about things (especially things that might be bothering you!), but it really is a great feeling when you pause and listen to your thoughts without distractions. When you embrace what you are thinking and feeling, you can work towards accepting it and dealing with it. While this might not seem like the most fun thing in the whole world, it's really important to take some time to yourself to think about what's going on in your life and how it's affecting you.</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: Oxygen; text-align: justify;"> </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: Oxygen; text-align: start;">I believe that a moment spent coping is a moment that could be spent living.</span><span style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: Oxygen; text-align: start;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: Oxygen; text-align: start;">Coping is about making it through another day.</span><span style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: Oxygen; text-align: start;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: Oxygen; text-align: start;">Coping is about survival.</span><span style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: Oxygen; text-align: start;"> . </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: Oxygen; text-align: start;">The purpose of my life is to live with joy.</span><span style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: Oxygen; text-align: start;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: Oxygen; text-align: start;">I have found that when I am in coping mode, joy is impossible in my life.</span><span style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: Oxygen; text-align: start;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: Oxygen; text-align: start;">I lose the ability to find pleasure in all the small things that make life so satisfying.</span><span style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: Oxygen; text-align: start;"> It is a small thing, but for me, merely thinking about challenges in a different way makes them more bearable.<span style="box-sizing: border-box;"> </span>Joy has become the barometer.<span style="box-sizing: border-box;"> </span>When things are terrible, I ask myself whether I am able to enjoy anything in my life.<span style="box-sizing: border-box;"> </span>If the answer is no, I am in survival mode.<span style="box-sizing: border-box;"> </span>This is not the mode I want to be in, unless I am literally fighting to survive. If I find that I am having a hard stretch <em style="box-sizing: border-box;">but there are still things that I can enjoy, </em>then I am living, not coping.<span style="box-sizing: border-box;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: Oxygen; text-align: start;">As much as I like to share my stories of coping, I guess my close friends and family had pampered me well so I can survive in rainy days and </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: Oxygen; text-align: start;">taught me how to live with joy.</span><span style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: Oxygen; text-align: start;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: Oxygen; text-align: start;">Rather, they act as life jackets of distraction that float me to the end of another difficult day.</span><span style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: Oxygen; text-align: start;"> .</span></div>
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<span style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: Oxygen; text-align: start;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"> Take care of yourself and never stop finding new ways to be happy..</span></span></div>
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Akmaelindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16745045406002108500noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2002993949493439183.post-59913579082391284412015-10-25T04:11:00.000+00:002015-10-25T04:11:08.963+00:00Take deep breaths and time outs<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: Oxygen; text-align: justify;">When dealing with a very hectic day, it's tough to remember to take deep breaths and time outs. No matter how busy you are, taking breaks is essential, like playing UNO cards. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: Oxygen; font-size: 13px; text-align: justify;"> Have a good Sunday!</span></div>
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<br />Akmaelindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16745045406002108500noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2002993949493439183.post-86185675600719872172015-10-22T15:38:00.002+01:002015-10-22T15:38:31.766+01:00Let it rain..<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1neBy0dxCnAG6Fp77d8ZMUMgPtetr9TJTTxB9LnY1rUu6BJtZV4f-jFg4QV2LdE5vAuYpFQRIZkawATUtYi9epd0l9S1gvtlCZ3eZkEd8fAM9ArX_2-Z82k6Fg-4Wd7Kmnw8Caga3W-4/s1600/accepting.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1neBy0dxCnAG6Fp77d8ZMUMgPtetr9TJTTxB9LnY1rUu6BJtZV4f-jFg4QV2LdE5vAuYpFQRIZkawATUtYi9epd0l9S1gvtlCZ3eZkEd8fAM9ArX_2-Z82k6Fg-4Wd7Kmnw8Caga3W-4/s320/accepting.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; text-align: start;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Opportunities are everywhere. You know this. I know this. But then why does it sometimes seem so hard to find them? So often we say we want more opportunities and, yet, we do not know where to find them. Whether you are searching for opportunities for your career or for a new relationship or for some chance to succeed, the key to finding opportunities is to realize that, much as you might want them to, they're not going to magically appear and the magic word will be " go with flow and patience is virtue"...</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; text-align: justify;">Ah, we are all aware of the opportunities. One word said or read the wrong way can cause so much pain. The perfect opportunities came at the perfect time can provide pure moments of bliss. </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; text-align: justify;"> It </span><span style="background-color: white; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #666666;">is astounding to me to think about how much words have changed my life and i constantly believe opportunities comes once. However, things didn't come easily. I fall and wake up again. </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; text-align: justify;">Since I've been struggling with acceptance lately, I've decided to focus on the ways I can start accepting what is (instead of dwelling on what I wish it could be). I know it's not going to be easy this whole situation has been one of the biggest challengers of living a positive and present life but I have a feeling that if I at least </span><em style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; text-align: justify;">try</em><span style="background-color: white; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #666666;"> to accept what is, I'll be able to wake up and don't give up on something..</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial;"><em style="box-sizing: border-box;">"An optimist is the human personification of spring."</em></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Arial; font-size: x-small;"><i>Love,</i></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtfYojcTcnkXkWfr6VUiZtBOwLYzNMLkzH3l84na_cfKUly3uHRJZWi6jujUTK6BYrgfn3PhO30sYXkIzNWAawrlkGuMyadNheXmpZzxwSR77SkFWMP02iZCnMc3_jnZzMym4WY9OME7o/s1600/makeup.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtfYojcTcnkXkWfr6VUiZtBOwLYzNMLkzH3l84na_cfKUly3uHRJZWi6jujUTK6BYrgfn3PhO30sYXkIzNWAawrlkGuMyadNheXmpZzxwSR77SkFWMP02iZCnMc3_jnZzMym4WY9OME7o/s320/makeup.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />Akmaelindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16745045406002108500noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2002993949493439183.post-65255104479019266222015-09-20T10:38:00.002+01:002015-09-20T10:38:31.167+01:00My smiling heart..<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrUb54NXlrs9lRlK4KJuQNsgDevv7CBcRUmxGcoFY4VpC_Mbmiea4uAou69A4br5H3EfEz9Se9riSIW2GqxSv4xSr6BRrCKc3C3Nj_NtdInUY9j9dc9TUeIh6v5pSAEPTC4QPixud9H1g/s1600/sunshine.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrUb54NXlrs9lRlK4KJuQNsgDevv7CBcRUmxGcoFY4VpC_Mbmiea4uAou69A4br5H3EfEz9Se9riSIW2GqxSv4xSr6BRrCKc3C3Nj_NtdInUY9j9dc9TUeIh6v5pSAEPTC4QPixud9H1g/s320/sunshine.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: Oxygen; line-height: 20.799999237060547px; text-align: justify;">“Smile with face, smile with mind, and good energy will come to you and clear away dirty energy. Even smile in your liver.” - Ketut, from Elizabeth Gilbert’s </span><em style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: Oxygen; line-height: 20.799999237060547px; text-align: justify;">Eat, Pray, Love</em></div>
Akmaelindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16745045406002108500noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2002993949493439183.post-21713575288051759452015-09-15T04:03:00.000+01:002015-09-15T04:03:24.636+01:00See the lights above you glowing <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8ZtQhCKsPrM2cs4qAXOizNExZdeZTmrXWMEQnSmmcWArevBhyphenhyphenqFKpPlmlMEzkL22nGCrHLFkBhSK4uQmzuJsQe79UZ_q-o3GvgC1dLyeErBy7KkytUS6ZhQeT7hrblbZmDdLByaGs-Bo/s1600/balloonn.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8ZtQhCKsPrM2cs4qAXOizNExZdeZTmrXWMEQnSmmcWArevBhyphenhyphenqFKpPlmlMEzkL22nGCrHLFkBhSK4uQmzuJsQe79UZ_q-o3GvgC1dLyeErBy7KkytUS6ZhQeT7hrblbZmDdLByaGs-Bo/s320/balloonn.jpg" width="212" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: Oxygen; line-height: 20.796875px; text-align: justify;">Life can throw us a lot of curveballs and, sadly, too many of us hold ourselves back from doing what we really want to do because we don't believe in ourselves, we don't love ourselves. And that needs to stop </span><em style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: Oxygen; line-height: 20.796875px; text-align: justify;">now</em><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: Oxygen; line-height: 20.796875px; text-align: justify;">. We all need to let ourselves be amazing , no matter what we're up against. Be happy and learn to let go without any grudge! </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: Oxygen; line-height: 20.796875px; text-align: justify;">I believe the more you respect yourself, the more you respect the world around you and the more likely you'll be to live a positive life.</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: Oxygen; line-height: 20.796875px; text-align: justify;">For those haters, I'm sharing these five reasons why self-love need to be exercised all the time !!</span></div>
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<strong style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: Oxygen; line-height: 20.796875px; text-align: justify;">1. Having respect for yourself leads you to have respect for others^-^</strong></div>
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<strong style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: Oxygen; line-height: 20.796875px; text-align: justify;"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">2. Celebrating positive things about you supports a positive attitude about others</strong></strong></div>
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<strong style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: Oxygen; line-height: 20.796875px; text-align: justify;">5.</strong><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: Oxygen; line-height: 20.796875px; text-align: justify;"><b>Once your happiness is taken care of and you really learn to love yourself, you free up your emotional time and energy to love others and focus on them.</b></span></div>
Akmaelindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16745045406002108500noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2002993949493439183.post-21014980859491291792015-09-12T07:09:00.001+01:002015-09-12T07:09:06.085+01:00The other side of me and feelings. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="color: #c27ba0; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>For years, I stumbled through life and the fog in my head. I spent a lot of time looking back to the past and forward to the future while suppressing all of the memories and emotions. The end result was I don't remember a lot from those years and didn't exactly build a life I was very happy living. I lived in fear yet still hoping to live happily.</i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #c27ba0; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i> Constantly looking back at the past meant the present was filled with pain, loss and confusion. I scared to give disconnected from the true experience of the day because to feel all of that emotion would be overwhelming.</i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #c27ba0; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>I was too distracted to create the perfect life, career and relationships that would bring me pleasure and a sense of achievement. I have the fear of loosing. Always looking ahead to the next bad thing meant I was always trying to see further down the road instead of the path in front of me.I was a constantly dripping puddle of regret, regretted almost everything by allowing myself to be compromising situations where I was hurt badly and be in a relationship with people took advantage of me. </i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #c27ba0; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>I know I have to create the future by overcoming what held me tied to a place of pain, grief and fear.. But I am still unsure where I am heading and when is the right time.. Silly as it may sound, sometimes, the quote "go with the flow" doesn't applicable to me at this age. I know everyone goes through challenging times and they end up digging into a hole of negativity that they can't get out of. For many this leads to relentless self-sabotage like myself. Therefore, its the time for a change. </i></span></div>
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Akmaelindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16745045406002108500noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2002993949493439183.post-89613065732891483652015-09-12T06:43:00.001+01:002015-09-12T06:43:13.971+01:00One Year passed...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I have been fortunate enough to have been given the gift of love and rezeki. One year had passed since the day I join other organisation ( which obviously a bank also) and to do something different from what i did previously.To switch from a relationship manager in corporate banking to treasury as market economic analyst was a big step. I have to begin my new career from scratch, cringing in front of pc doing analysis job, publishing economics paper which god knows how hard to cope with it were an amazing experience. Things didn't come easily.. The hurdles of coping and wanting to learn. .I have to keep my mind open to absorb new things and there were times I slipped when I loose my focus but I survived. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Happy one-year anniversary to me!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; line-height: 20.799999237060547px; text-align: justify;">Life is filled with moments in which you feel as if you are standing in a fork in the road, looking down two potential paths, and wondering which way you should go. Sometimes we find ourselves lost, uncertain of which path will lead us home.</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; line-height: 20.799999237060547px; text-align: justify;"> One thing i learned for the past one year was "i</span><span style="background-color: white; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="line-height: 20.799999237060547px;">f you want to move forward from wherever you've found yourself, you have to take responsibility for your choices and actions".. I must admit there were times when I feel giving up when things didn't sail smoothly. I just want to go back to the things I used to do for the past 4 years. The feeling of " i think i made a wrong decision to do something I am not used to" .</span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="line-height: 20.799999237060547px;">When you find yourself in a situation in which you've made a bad decision and there is no one to blame but you, it can be tempting to feel down on yourself and to start thinking negatively, but DON'T! One thing I found the solution of my misery of being negative and mitigate the feeling was, asking myself, can it be fixed and changed now? Alhamdulillah.. All you need is willing to understand.</span></span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; line-height: 20.799999237060547px; text-align: justify;">The wonderful thing about fixing any problems when comes to work is always be positive and don't give up although you are at slowest pace to catch up. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; line-height: 20.799999237060547px; text-align: justify;">The door always open for you to learn although </span><span style="background-color: white; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="line-height: 20.799999237060547px;">sometimes it feels like a big game of trial and error, and often I don't have any idea what the best choice might be.. Honestly, at this juncture, although my trial will be my ppkm and sc licenses which still pending to pass, I am happy to walk this far and expanding my knowledge on economics from doing credit for the past 4 years. After all, we bound to make few mistakes in life but most importantly, you know what you are doing and be grateful!</span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; line-height: 20.799999237060547px; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">No matter what you've done or what choices you've made, there is always hope for the present moment. The past, unfortunate as it might be sometimes, is gone. . Happy weekend everyone!</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: Oxygen; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.799999237060547px; text-align: justify;">Much love,</span></div>
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Akmaelindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16745045406002108500noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2002993949493439183.post-71161466915496870822015-09-03T11:53:00.000+01:002015-09-03T11:53:16.996+01:00Rain or shine<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpYSU7ExI8CUpeJGBJVZfovy7kY-d-Dzm5YFenWnrJAENWNbRQiSMpswcx16taOzeqnjGMtDKof4Rp0-UHpvhaO3fjqi6NtJcyaV00jn_tIyHVZd3DVPZHs61DuYRjXKU8mVRkFOO5Ec0/s1600/626xNxhow-to-get-over-a-breakup-and-forget.jpg.pagespeed.ic.9s2eVXMS7h.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="216" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpYSU7ExI8CUpeJGBJVZfovy7kY-d-Dzm5YFenWnrJAENWNbRQiSMpswcx16taOzeqnjGMtDKof4Rp0-UHpvhaO3fjqi6NtJcyaV00jn_tIyHVZd3DVPZHs61DuYRjXKU8mVRkFOO5Ec0/s320/626xNxhow-to-get-over-a-breakup-and-forget.jpg.pagespeed.ic.9s2eVXMS7h.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Akmaelindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16745045406002108500noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2002993949493439183.post-20358224137646393682015-08-29T12:37:00.001+01:002015-08-29T12:37:23.008+01:00Today is a gift<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #999999; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 20.799999237060547px; text-align: justify;">Sometimes we find ourselves on the same road we've been traveling down, yet we find ourselves yearning to take a turn down a different street. The wonderful thing is that we have a choice. Unfortunately, the hardest thing is also the fact that we have a choice. </span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 20.799999237060547px; text-align: justify;">As any adult knows, life is filled with choices. . Throughout our lives we often find ourselves standing at the end of a road, wondering whether or not we should turn left or right.. " Ah, is this good for me or not. Right or left?"</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #999999; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 20.799999237060547px; text-align: justify;">As I weigh the pros and cons of keeping things the same or making a change, I found myself struggling to look for the positive, to realize that whatever situation I choose</span><span style="line-height: 20.799999237060547px; text-align: justify;"> </span><em style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 20.799999237060547px; text-align: justify;">will </em><span style="line-height: 20.799999237060547px; text-align: justify;">be the right situation for me. Getting caught up in the future of potential change or weighed down by the reminders of changes in the past, I found myself unable to stay in the present. My mind is racing with "What ifs..." and "Remember whens...</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #999999; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Over the past few years I've been in a battle with myself, contemplating the pros and cons of my situation and weighing out all of the options. I <span style="background-color: white; text-align: justify;">just turned 30 a little over a month ago and I remember</span><span style="background-color: white; text-align: justify;"> carrying around far too much heavy negative emotional baggage for the past few years </span>until eventually, finally, thankfully, Alhamdulillah, I became more happier each and everyday of my life. I arrived at a conclusion to live happily.. And, through it all, I kept mind open and my thoughts positive although along the way, I met the wrong person and break my heart again and again. </span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; text-align: justify;">While this definitely does not mean I stopped holding people accountable, I found that no problems were solved by my feeling this way.</span><span style="box-sizing: border-box; text-align: justify;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; text-align: justify;">I was only hurting myself.</span><span style="box-sizing: border-box; text-align: justify;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; text-align: justify;">Basically, over the past few years, I have learned to choose my battles and its okay to make a mistake in taking which route. </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #999999; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; text-align: justify;">Anyway, pictures to share for the week with the team and my short get away to Malacca over the weekend.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #999999; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 20.799999237060547px; text-align: justify;">Have an amazing long weekend and Happy Independence Day Malaysia. I am bit sad to cancel my short trip to Bangkok this week. Sobs. Some other time perhaps :(</span></div>
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Akmaelindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16745045406002108500noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2002993949493439183.post-61445311155617480922015-08-15T05:24:00.001+01:002015-08-15T05:24:26.982+01:00Let's be grateful in everyday of life<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; line-height: 20.799999237060547px; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm a firm believer of looking inside yourself for some of the most important things in life , love, inspiration, hope and that's why I've been giving a lot of thought lately to how I can inspire myself although sometime I slipped and cried ( cry baby, i am). There are a great many resources to turn to when it comes to seeking inspiration, but one of the best ways I've found to inspire myself is to surround myself with things that bring me happiness and fill my mind with hopeful, inspired thoughts and of course people around you play a big role to shape who I am now. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="line-height: 20.799999237060547px;">I want to be steering a ship. Or at least my own tiny boat. I want to choose where I'm going. I want to point myself on my own course and have some control over where this life is headed. It's not always easy to take control, to choose your own path, but I'm taking it one day at a time. And one of the best ways I can think of to take control of my life right now is to decide what I'm going to do with happiness and love what I am doing now... Few pictures to share during the week and belated birthday celeb. Life is amazing and stay positive!</span></span></span></span></div>
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Akmaelindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16745045406002108500noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2002993949493439183.post-74224929513355135972015-08-04T11:44:00.000+01:002015-08-04T11:44:14.315+01:00Post-July'15<br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; text-align: start;"><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="line-height: 20.799999237060547px;">As I more than halfway through the year, making August a great time to look back last month in July when I turned 30. 10 years to be 40. Hahaha. Bizarre. It has been a while since my last post. Alhamdullillah July has been great to me though I celebrated my </span></span></span><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="line-height: 20.799999237060547px;">thirtieth birthday a day before the eid. Thanks for the surprises and wishes!! Being 30, </span></span><span style="background-color: white; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="line-height: 20.799999237060547px;">I thought to myself, " How time flies and how amazing upside down my life were in switching from twenties to the big figure". The older I get, the wiser I become. So thankful to walk this far and blessed with wonderful people around, supportive parents and friends, career wise ( needless to say, i MUST PASS my exam for this attempt), abundance of happiness (although question raised this year, when are you going to settle down, enough of enjoying single life, time to make babies), and good health. </span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="line-height: 20.799999237060547px;">As quoted by Samuel Ullman, </span></span></span><span style="color: #666666; line-height: 20.799999237060547px;">"Nobody grows old merely by living a number of years.</span><span style="color: #666666; line-height: 20.799999237060547px; text-align: center;">We grow old by deserting our ideals. Years may wrinkle the skin,</span><span style="color: #666666; line-height: 20.799999237060547px; text-align: center;"> </span><span style="color: #666666; line-height: 20.799999237060547px; text-align: center;">but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul."</span><em style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; line-height: 20.799999237060547px; text-align: justify;">You can't just make a positive argument for something that's not true. That's just pretending</em><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; line-height: 20.799999237060547px; text-align: justify;">. But then I realized it's not about pretending something is different than what it is; it's about looking at the other side of the argument and see if, perhaps, the opposite, positive side might actually be true. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; line-height: 20.799999237060547px; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I know I have to start being serious with my life .</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; line-height: 20.799999237060547px; text-align: justify;">Life is short, but do you really </span><em style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; line-height: 20.799999237060547px; text-align: justify;">act</em><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; line-height: 20.799999237060547px; text-align: justify;"> like it's short? Between work , relationships, and commitments, we're only given so much free time to spend doing what we really love to be doing. Are you doing what you love during your precious hours of free time? Or are you doing what you think you should? Are you making the most of every minute? Because if you're not, you're wasting your time and, as I'm sure you know, time is one of life's most valuable commodities. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> <span style="background-color: white; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="line-height: 20.799999237060547px;">You need the time to figure out what you really want in your life. Just slapping some words or images on a board isn't going to get you very far (or very far in the right direction). Determining a vision for your life takes careful thought. So here I am sharing some pictures from the day I turned 30 and eid picture. </span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="line-height: 20.799999237060547px;">Finally and most importantly, happy birthday boss who celebrated his birthday two weeks after mine. Sorry I am not allowed to share the full picture.. and also my immediate boss. July babies are :-</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 28px; text-align: start;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"> "a perfectionist and are quite critical. You will perform very well in a position of power or management. "</span></span></div>
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<br />Akmaelindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16745045406002108500noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2002993949493439183.post-48950481724870817142015-07-01T14:06:00.000+01:002015-07-01T14:08:28.579+01:00Counting days to big figure...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="color: #999999;"><span style="background-color: white; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Oxygen;"><span style="line-height: 20.799999237060547px;">This month will be my 30th Birthday and thinking how did I survive so far plus obstacles I have gone through for thirty years of living, </span></span></span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Oxygen; line-height: 20.799999237060547px; text-align: justify;"> I am so thankful that Allah never failed me to give me strength...What matters is this: if something makes you genuinely happy, you should spend time doing it. Ramadhan has been my favourite month of the year. My third year celebrating birthday during Ramadhan. Alhamdulillah...</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #999999; font-family: Oxygen;"><span style="line-height: 20.799999237060547px;">Thirty years of living, I remember when going from a negative outlook to a positive one. I really had to spend time thinking about the way I was looking at things. The way you see the world around you is a choice. You can choose to look for the good or you can choose not to. Once I realized this, I understood that it didn't make much sense to focus on the bad things in life. Sure, I had to acknowledge them, but I certainly didn't need to dwell on them. A friend of mine told me, don't take it too hard on your self.. </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #999999;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Oxygen; line-height: 20.799999237060547px; text-align: justify;">For too long, I spent </span><em style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Oxygen; line-height: 20.799999237060547px; text-align: justify;">way</em><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Oxygen; line-height: 20.799999237060547px; text-align: justify;"> too much time thinking about, revisiting, and quite literally going backward into the past. It was pointless and painful, but for years I did it and caused myself a great deal of unhappiness. Hard as it is to admit sometimes, the past is over. Now that I am 30,</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Oxygen; line-height: 20.799999237060547px; text-align: justify;"> all of the work is worth every ounce of effort I put into it because nothing is better than loving the life I am living now. Counting days till my big figure change... </span></span></div>
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Akmaelindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16745045406002108500noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2002993949493439183.post-73044452880867477002015-06-22T15:35:00.000+01:002015-06-22T15:35:34.498+01:00A wake up call.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="color: #999999; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 20.799999237060547px; text-align: justify;">Not too long ago ( approx 4 days ago), I found myself in the middle of a terrible, not a good day and screwed everything. </span><span style="background-color: white; text-align: justify;"><span style="line-height: 20.799999237060547px;">Everything seemed to be going wrong and my mind would not stop returning again and again to negative thoughts and envisioning worst-case scenarios. It was one of those days when I felt like, no matter what, I couldn't stop ruminating on what had/could go wrong and I felt far, far away from the present moment. I was so upset and broke down. I blamed myself for the failure. </span></span><span style="line-height: 20.799999237060547px;">Hmmmph. I struggled handling my terrible day and it took days until now to remember the moment I opened my result.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #999999; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 20.799999237060547px;"> I know, I know, some of you are probably cringing at the" what result" you are talking about? Remember few months back I was talking about my exam preparations for the license I have to attempt. I failed those 4 papers. My heart was broken to see my results. But yea, come to think back the day I felt I'm a loser, I have forgotten that " it's not my rezeki yet"... Maybe, Allah wants me to learn from my mistakes and fully understand treasury itself. </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #999999; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 20.799999237060547px; text-align: justify;">When it comes to speaking my mind about disappointment, I'm </span><em style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 20.799999237060547px; text-align: justify;">really</em><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 20.799999237060547px; text-align: justify;"> good at doing this professionally and </span><em style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 20.799999237060547px; text-align: justify;">really</em><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 20.799999237060547px; text-align: justify;"> bad at doing it personally. No professional disappointment will slip by undiscussed, but I have a difficult time speaking up when it comes to personal disappointment. </span><span style="line-height: 20.799999237060547px;">Arghhh so much in my mind now...</span></span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 20.799999237060547px; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #999999; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">At the very least, facing disappointment can make you a stronger person who is honing his or her skills at looking for the positive in even the most difficult of situations.. So here I am, a toast for myself. Stay strong and lets do this again without giving up!!!!</span></span></div>
Akmaelindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16745045406002108500noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2002993949493439183.post-91543626426220981722015-06-18T14:22:00.003+01:002015-06-18T14:27:02.295+01:00Ramadhan 1 - 1416H<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="background-color: white; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #999999; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 20.799999237060547px;">Sadness is something I'd like to think I spent my life trying to avoid, but there have been moments when I have reveled in it, when I have spoiled myself with it, consuming more than my share until I was too full to move. I've claimed not to want it, but I have dug in all too willingly when it was served up. I used to think this was a bad thing, my propensity for sorrow, but as I've made my way along the path to living a more positive and happy, I've learned that sadness is not something to be avoided. </span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 20.799999237060547px;">" Everything that has happened to you in the past has been a preparation for the wonderful life that lies ahead of you in the future". Remember the rule: </span><em style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 20.799999237060547px;">It doesn't matter where you're coming from; all that really matters is where you're going.</em><span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 20.799999237060547px;">I</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 20.799999237060547px;">t is something that should be embraced, experienced, and explored. </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #999999; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; text-align: justify;"><span style="line-height: 20.799999237060547px;">Another Ramadhan to celebrate at the age of 30 in few weeks time and my 1st time fasting at my new office with a new job! Likewise, my routine will be gym over the lunch and hoping "masjid" for terawikh. I decided to skip futsal for a month and I can't wait to blog on my masjid hoping this year. Yesterday was my 1st experience to step into Masjid Asyikirin at KLCC which full with muslims to collect their points. </span></span><span style="line-height: 20.799999237060547px;">Hoping everyone enjoying this wonderful time of "togetherness". My sincere apologies to those I have hurt before directly or indirectly. May Allah bless us and bestow us strength to go through one wonderful month. As for me, my wish for this year to obtain HIS forgiveness and blessings in whatever I do in future. InshaAllah. Trust me, Ramadhan is always the best time to make a dua' and it never fail to give me "something good". </span></span></div>
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Akmaelindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16745045406002108500noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2002993949493439183.post-18304743578753028682015-06-14T09:28:00.002+01:002015-06-14T09:28:33.610+01:00Little things in life<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #999999; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 20.799999237060547px; text-align: justify;">It can be hard to be thankful for work, but consider how work makes your life better. It provides you with income, and it can challenge, inspire, and excite you.. </span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 20.799999237060547px; text-align: justify;">We should all be thankful for whatever kindness we experience in work or life. There's a beginning of something.. </span><span style="background-color: white; text-align: justify;"><span style="line-height: 20.799999237060547px;">What inspires you to get out of the bed in the morning? What inspires you to keep working, loving, living? Little things in life make a big difference for you to keep going! Hey, gotta love this new little notebook i received from a friend of mine. Thank you for the sweet thought! Now time to write "what shall I do when market turn haywire?"</span></span></span></div>
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Akmaelindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16745045406002108500noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2002993949493439183.post-11758934272346072362015-06-06T09:33:00.001+01:002015-06-06T09:33:46.958+01:00What's stopping you?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="color: #999999; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; text-align: justify;"><span style="line-height: 20.799999237060547px;">While I really am trying to live in the moment and focus on what's happening right now, I can't help but look to think what's stopping me to decide what is the best decision for myself. Of course I am referring to the previous post on how i FEEL right now at the moment. </span></span><span style="line-height: 20.799999237060547px;">Nothing major to be honest but t</span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 20.799999237060547px; text-align: justify;">here is so much happening right now in my life and, if you're anything like me, you probably rush by it all the time.</span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 20.799999237060547px; text-align: justify;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #999999; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 20.799999237060547px;">Every aspect of my life has changed since I made the decision to choose happiness last year. It started in my blog and then flowed into every part of my life, and it continues to grow every day. I am the healthiest and happiest that I have ever been. The choice to think more positively and seek out positive things leads to more confidence, better decision-making, so much more clarity, and fuels a desire to continuously improve and be better than I was before.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #999999; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 20.799999237060547px; text-align: justify;">But as I travel to my destination of finding my own happiness, I </span><strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 20.799999237060547px;">found myself afraid of admitting my feeling and scared to loose. </strong><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 20.799999237060547px; text-align: justify;">What gets me excited is whenever it crosses my mind, it leaves me feeling so overjoyed or pumped that make me can barely sit. Believe</span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 20.799999237060547px;"> me, I know how much courage it takes to willingly tell the person your feelings. It really can be terrifying, the thought of confronting and confessing.</span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 20.799999237060547px;"> I honestly think it was that fear that held me back at this juncture. I knew I needed to ask and tell although I am so afraid...</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #999999; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 20.799999237060547px; text-align: start;">Life is hard.</span><span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 20.799999237060547px; text-align: start;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 20.799999237060547px; text-align: start;">There is no shame in saying so.</span><span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 20.799999237060547px; text-align: start;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 20.799999237060547px; text-align: start;">Pain hurts.</span><span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 20.799999237060547px; text-align: start;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 20.799999237060547px; text-align: start;">There is no weakness implied in feeling the inevitable discomforts that are the cost of taking this risk of confronting.</span><span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 20.799999237060547px; text-align: start;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 20.799999237060547px; text-align: start;">But if the discomforts persist longer than they should, it is always worth asking what that is. So yesterday when I told one of my closes friend about this matter, she asked me, what is the purpose of your life? <i>"To live in joy but no regret in future"</i>...</span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 20.799999237060547px; text-align: start;">It is a small thing, but for me, merely thinking about challenges in a different way makes them more unbearable.</span><span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 20.799999237060547px; text-align: start;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; text-align: start;"><span style="line-height: 20.799999237060547px;">I knew I have done my mistakes years ago when I have no chance to say it, but one thing i am scared of is loosing the friendship and the laughter we shared. </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #999999; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; text-align: justify;"><span style="line-height: 20.799999237060547px;">Before immediately responding to my post and the previous post, please bear with my picks for this post. Pictures taken last weekend during the two big events. Loving the make up and these ladies. Anyway, my sissy back in Dublin got engaged last week to her love of her life. Trust me, they made long distance relationship work out. Congratulation my dear Fardila and Aizat. Nail it! well tonight, another big day for my another friend Reen. I am looking forward for all big events such as engagement and wedding before </span></span><span style="line-height: 20.799999237060547px;">pause starts in another 2 weeks. Have a fabulous weekend dearies!</span></span></div>
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Akmaelindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16745045406002108500noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2002993949493439183.post-86799411955080920282015-06-01T06:57:00.004+01:002015-06-01T06:58:38.943+01:00Fall in love..<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>“Say, ‘Indeed, my prayer, my service of sacrifice, my living and my dying are for Allah, Lord of the worlds.'” (6:162)</b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #999999; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 20.799999237060547px; text-align: justify;">All I really wanted to do was curl up on the couch and contemplate all the things that weren't going right, but I knew that definitely was </span><span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 20.799999237060547px; text-align: justify;">not</span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 20.799999237060547px; text-align: justify;"> the best way to</span><span style="line-height: 24px;"> find solution to my issue. It has been a while since I really post on how I feel and any relationship episodes I am going through at this juncture. Somehow, my fear to fall in love and being hurt haunted me since my last relationship. I realised myself fall in love blindly and I have always forgotten to fall in love with something greater, fall in love with the real thing, none other to fall in love with Allah SWT. I fell for my dunia but not for my akhirat. </span><span style="background-color: white; text-align: left;"><span style="line-height: 20.799999237060547px;">It would be nice if I could always walk in sunshine (prefect relationship with God and a human), but I know that's not the case. I walked in the dark sometimes, stumbling and unsure where my relationship with human is heading to and ended crying for nothing. It was a waste of my tears. It has been a year since i finally gave up on thing which can't work out. It all happened too fast when </span></span><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="line-height: 18.511999130249023px;">I thought that would be the turning point, where we’d cross the line and go forth down that path, and everything would be perfect and fine. June is finally here, 3 weeks down the road going to be my favourite month and I have something to decide on my future... Wallahualam. At this point of time, my heart is battling and I only can pray for the best because there is nothing greater than HIS plans for me but there is something I need to tell.. It was harder than I thought and convincing my heart is way tougher. Sometimes, we love things that we can't have...,</span></span></i></span></div>
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Akmaelindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16745045406002108500noreply@blogger.com1