THE DOLL'S BLACK BOOK

Put trust in Allah

2012-01-29T09:39:00.007Z

Allah the Almighty said:

"Put your trust in Allah if you are believers indeed."

There's so much going on in my life that I wish I have all the time to share in this entry.In just one month and 15 days,I will be performing umrah .It has been 18 years since I went there.I can't even recalled each of the moment when I was there. Innocent and naive.Perhaps I didn't commit major sins that time.So,my dad has been reminding me to start solat taubat and pray that the journey will sail smoothly.Countless sins I have committed and it scares me alot.

Despite the dramas along the way,I am excited to be there as His guest.MasyaAllah.Everyone is asking me,will I change when I come back? I have no answer for that.I can't give definite answer.Of course,I always want a change.A hijrah for myself and a new beginning of life.I want to improve myself and be complete muslimah.It is beyond my words.

I put trust in Allah.If Allah brings me to it,InsyaAllah He'll get me through it.I remember when He tested me in so many ways.I remember when I failed my papers during the time I did my ACCA.It was my dream to be a Chartered Accountant.I was lost.I couldn't take the failure.I questioned myself,why can't I pass like my other friends.I studied like others did and yet I failed for 6 times.

Then,in less than a month Allah has given me second chance.I decided to quit and decided to do my Bachelor Degree in Accounting and Finance in Dublin.I managed to complete my degree although along the way,there were hiccups,ups and down.He awarded me strong heart and never give up.Finally,I succeed.Besides I am on my way to complete my Chartered Credit Professional.

I cannot deny myself is so ambitious.I always want the best for myself and being in corporate world.It was my dream to be part of Corporate People.I want to wear a blazer,attending meetings,meeting big corporate people and think and talk about business.Alhamdulillah,He permits it.I am in the line and working in the bank in the Corporate Banking to build my career.

But really,nothing in this world is meant to be perfect.He took away my happiness when my longest relationship end in the middle of the road.I fall down.I couldn't think of any solution.I was called by my own boss because I didn't perform.He scolded me and almost give up on me.Yes,I almost jeopardized my dream.In the end,Allah has given me another chance.He made me wake up from my big fall and practically put trust in Him again.He knows what he has given to me to make me learn my lesson.Life learning process and learn to accept qada and qadar.

Life has an interesting way of diverging.I still remember when I went out for coffee with Mr Stranger,he told me,"tawakal" is the best way to lead our life in anyway.It's true.We may know certain things but Allah knows everything than we do.You never know who is your life partner,your destiny as well as when exactly you will die.He knows everything.Therefore,I accept the changes and adapt.

On the other hand, I am intending to travel again this year besides planning to move abroad.I hang on first about moving outside of the world thinking my responsibility towards my parents.Being the only child in the family,I take pride of being the only daughter.I have parents to take care of and pay them every single cents they have forked out since I was born.The major broke I can think of was when they sent me with their own savings to Dublin.I wouldn't know how hard to earn money until I start my job although at the moment,I have no obligation to pay my own car,yet the money is flowing like a water.

Thosedays,I can easily asked money from my parents.I demand a designer handbags,I demand extra pocket money,I demand new car,I demand for lavish life without realizing how hard to earn a pound.I am so selfish.Being the most ungrateful brat in the family I go for quality without thinking how much it cost and forced them to buy for me.Then I realized,not all the things in this world you can get it.It requires to work hard and I am proud of myself not asking money unless I am broke after major shopping.

I suppose travelling requires lots of cash.In April,I will be going to Bali with the girlfriends.Then might be going for Euro Trip with my colleagues.To be frank,I am looking forward for Euro Trip.Few places in the plan such as touring the whole Italy, Paris and Spain are the most exciting plan.I have to start savings for the trip and hoping my upcoming bonus might cover half of it.InsyaAllah.

What is happening with Mr Stranger?He is still here with me as my best friend.For surely,what's happening in my life is not a random and every sequence has a purpose.Are we in a relationship?No we are not.We are embarking a friendship.I have stopped myself to question where are we heading to since its too early to come to another stage.It's hard to strive for the best because Allah has his plan for us.

If I could reverse the time,I will opt not to be in a relationship for longest time so I won't hurt myself.The obstacles I have gone through taught me a lesson for not loving someone more than anything else in this world and give in too much.It hurts so much when it went wrong.

It is amazing everyday talking to him and having him around as my best listener (besides your own mother),I am blessed.Along the way,I can be really fragile and sulk a lot.Mr Stranger is so calm to bear with me who is most of the time a drama queen.He's so alert when my tone and my bbm seems differ from any other day.He will questioning me "Merajuk ke"?In the end,my merajuk mood turned off.He and his face expression,he and his lems attitude.How can I not enjoying my time with him? A man who understands me.

I must admit "Life is full of surprises".There is one turning point when we decided to back to basic.The basic is to have faith in Allah.Put trust in Him.He never say NO to whatever you pray for.Its either He permits it or He hang it there and later He will grant the wish.He will certainly replace for whatever He has taken away from you.By all means,NEVER GIVE UP to pray.Once Mum told me,"NEVER STOP the DOA because you wouldn't know at that juncture,Allah is granting everyone's wishes at one go".

2012-01-24T06:20:00.003Z

Every little step I took without looking back

To mend the broken pieces

To have faith on myself

To slowly digest and adapt

To swallow the pain

To get over it and live as if I will die tomorrow

It was just an awful dream I've ever had

You have no idea what does it takes to go through all these phase

You have no idea what does it takes to live everyday without reminiscing the memories

You have no idea how does my heart shattered in the middle of the road

I wish my heart stop beating

I wish my heart stop bleeding

I wish I never know you in my previous life

Unfortunately you die in my previous life

You die with your words and lies

You die with my broken pieces

You die with my love notes

Happy Things

2012-01-24T05:39:00.011Z

I always love to coordinate for Bridal Shower and Baby Shower.Happy things are meant to be shared.

Sharing the joy,sharing the love and sharing the happiness.

There are lots of ways to feel HAPPY.

Along the way,there are hiccups to achieve happy things.All you have to do is enjoying the moment because every little thing means a lot.

"Live as if you were to die tomorrow.Learn as if you were to live forever"- Gandhi

2012-01-15T04:27:00.004Z

I remember,

That akward moment when I first met you,

When I first spoke to you on the phone,

Where everything was so completely akward,

Which I was unsure where are we heading to..

I can't remember ,

When exactly the journey starts,

You were in the different world while I am the other side of the world,

We were stranger,and

I was never used to be happy until you came into the picture.

And so today,

You cheer me up with your laughs,

with your sincerity,

with the names you called me,

with the smiles you gave which brought unbound happiness

and,

I love when I caught you looking at me then you smile and looked away.

We should have met 10 years ago,

So I won't hurt..

Maybe some people are meant to be in love but not meant to be together,

You made me believed there's another beautiful and wonderful rainbow somewhere out there,

To be seen and a boat to sail heading to our destination..

Thank you for being my tai-ti buddy,my coffee mate,mr-reminder,mr-relax ,mr-sarcastic,mr-i don't mind what movie, mr-funny and of course mr-golf is my hobby.

I am blessed.

♥

Happiness

2012-01-14T04:47:00.007Z

Most of the time.we are unhappy because we keep on focusing on negative things and end up we are feeling lousy.Your emotions,whether happiness or anything else can be controlled by what you focus and what meaning you give to things.

As you can see,things don't make you happy.It is your perception and the meaning you give to those "things"that make you happy.Making yourself happy is easy.One easy rule you can set up for yourself is "If I am able to wake up in the morning,I will be happy".

I have arrived to one phase where everything was miserable and I don't feel happy with what I have to go through everyday.I was so vulnerable.I started to question myself,why can't I be happy?Why can't I live like other people.Why do I have to experience all these where I supposed to be happy all my life.I almost jeopardized my career and I almost questioned Allah,why Me??What is the purpose of life?Why my perfect love went wrong?

My twitter status were full with sadness and emotions.Everyone was keep on asking why am I torturing myself with unhappy status and reminiscing the bad memories I have gone through.Why can't I LOVE MYSELF more?

Eventually,I woke up from my battle.I can't surrender my life just because I lost in the battle in my previous relationship.Why can't I get over it because relationship is only part of happiness.

Instead of trying to acquire things and achieve goals in order to be happy.why don't I be happy while pursuing my goals?In other words,don't seek for happiness,it will happily seek you.So I swallowed all the pains even its hurtful.

Knowing how much I am worth of, and to be happy is simply by letting go all of my past is the best way to do.I managed to swallow it.I managed to more focus what I have and be grateful for it. Everyday I am trying to fix my emotions,adapt the reality and love myself more than anything else.After all,isn't the purpose of life is to be happy?

I am HAPPY the fact I have grown up and matured enough to deal this.Thank you Mr Stranger for making me happy everyday with all your silly jokes.We should have met 10 years ago.You are fun and funny to be with..I am enjoying time of my life and happy again.Thanks awak.

xoxo

Happiness is on its way,

Cherish the moment :-

Boat to sail

2012-01-09T09:44:00.007Z

After a big fall,to be honest I am still battling to wake up.

The pains I had,still unbearable.I can easily break down till the whole body immune system shut down.I threw out,bad fever and headache.I took an mc which totally bad idea but I really need to have my time off to mend my broken heart.Having said that,I went to see my doctor asking for medicine.As she wrote list of medicines I have to consume for whole week,she told me to recite Yassin and repeat verses 58 : "Peace: a word from a Merciful Lord." to make myself more peaceful and calm.Amazing.It's really meaningful to have little guidance besides praying to Allah SWT to bestow me strong heart.A doctor is a life saver.

Moving on.

Mr Stranger and I have been going out numbers of time since we have been introduced.A friend I must say.A good friend indeed.A guy who changed my life tremendously and wakes me from my big fall .A friend who listens to my problems, a brother who makes an effort to call me everyday to ensure I am okay and step forward without looking back at my past.He reminds me to hit the gym everyday,to go on diet and honestly,it feels so great to have a buddy next to you reminding.Although I don't get to see him everyday due to work related and running errands,the best we could do is to ring and making fun of each other.

I have an issues to go out on date frankly speaking.The last time was 8 years ago on a proper date.So most of the time when we plan to go out,his friends will be there to join us.Up till now,I have met most of his RMC boys and other friends.Therefore no akward moments I have seen so far.The funny thing about him,he is so shy.He speaks few sentences while I speak like nobody business.I do the talk while he listens.

There are times when I found it very hard to jive in with another guy.I have made an attempt to blend it and slowly,I get comfortable and acknowledge the existence.Mr Stranger loves golf so much.He spends most of his time playing golf day and night.He speaks on golf while I speak on business which is totally opposite.Mr Stranger and I were in different world before.We never met nor have a connections before.

We don't go out purposely to develop the feelings.We are friends to be frank.Everyday, we tried to complete each other as a friend.I am still fixing my emotions and trying to get rid my past because it was awful.

Somehow,at the very beginning to embark this friendship,I found difficulties. How can a stranger becomes close and creating a conversation?How can I blend with his life?What is the family background looks like?What was his past?What topics shall I speak when we go out?What type of movies he fancy?What will happen next?Are we going to have feelings towards each other in future?Are we going to fall for each other or remain in friends zone?

Eventually,things went well since the very beginning although the friendship is too early to be justified.I symbolize the friendship we hold on as a boat.We ride in the same boat.Both of us are the navy and we are sailing in the same boat heading to our destination.I wouldn't know whether our journey will end at the same destination or not.At the moment,the least we could do is getting to know each other better.InsyaAllah.

A friend will do :)

Something to share with all of you:-

"Be thankful for what we have and create the moments we want to live in.So decide what is the best for you and be content with your life in the current and future.Don't waste your time waiting and build your dream.

Aim for the moon, atleast when u fall,u will fall among the sky......"

Jazzakallah Khair

Hugs and Kisses,

Akma

2012-01-02T09:51:00.001Z

Stranger.

Love Story 2

2012-01-02T09:12:00.003Z

Finally,

she engaged.Fairy is also one of my best girlfriends back in Dublin.She was the 1st person I knew when I arrived.My babe,my dearest London travel partner,my bff and list goes on.She has found her soon life partner and yesterday 01/01/12,I was there seeing her being booked as Syed Ali's fiance.After what she has gone through,bittersweet of relationships she had before,she finally engaged.Another phase of life.

Her love stories since I knew her back in 2007 was downhearted more than my experience.I saw her crying,broken hearted,puffy eyes.She is one strong babe.She moves on with her life without looking back.She finds her own happiness and in the end,her love story ended with happy ending.It feels so surreal.The beautiful engagement is so intimate.Us * the whole eire gang*,were there(Serene,Nuar,Amy,Tasha,Azza,Gee,Suria,Mex,Yana & Chadly).Reminds me thosedays,when everyone squeezed into my room.Imagine 7 of us in the room before fairy,serene and nuar going back for good.The room turned out to be upside down with 7 people squeezing in the room,watching movies.Arghh memories*sobs*

So much of dramas I have seen,she is now happily engaged to Syed Ali.This guy to be honest is one of a kind.Cheerful,funny and can blend with anyone.He speaks alot,he makes an effort to mix with us and he takes care of my Fairy in Singapore.Btw,they both working in Singapore.

Congratulation Love birds.Looking forward for the wedding soon.I am here to be part of it.

Love Story 1

2012-01-02T07:51:00.006Z

Alyani & Dr Azlan

Yes,Els got married.She and Azlan were happily married on 8th December 2011,Thursday.The ceremony was held at Concorde,Shah Alam.Followed by reception on 11th December at the same place.I have been trying to fix my time to write about them but due to some errands,I decided to publish it in 2012.

Els and I acquainted in Dublin.She was my good friends back in Dublin.One of the best girlfriends I had in Dublin.There were so many memories we shared.The joy,laughter,sad and she is one of my life saver as well as my miss A-Z designer's brand freak.

Back to the wedding,we were extremely excited (i mean the gang*) for her wedding.Ups and down went to the tailor to ensure our baju kurung tailored.Els is married.Changing her status from Cik Fatimah Alyani Shahirah to Puan Alyani.I couldn't believe she is now a wife to Dr Azlan,a guy whom she met in Dublin.

Their love story is really amazing.How they met,how Azlan chased for her and how he proposed was wonderful.Well,Azlan actually proposed her under the Eiffel Tower and guess what,Els has been telling us thosedays that she wants her future husband to propose her in Paris.Dream comes true?YES.

Els has never been in a relationship all her life until she met Azlan.She and Marina are always in the "single club"for the past 24 years.I was told Azlan spotted Els when she was about to leave Penny's at Dublin 1.From that moment.Azlan has been on and off chasing her.He went straight to see El's parents,determined to tackle her no matter what and never give up.

Azlan determination captured El's heart.Els decided to accept him and within 6 months of together,Els been hitched.Quick isn't it?That's what we called fate.And after a year,they got married in a beautiful ceremony.Els has made a right choice to marry a guy who fall in love with her (LOVE AT THE FIRST SIGHT),who wants to grow old with her and wants to be her companionship forever.

As for us (the gang*),we are incredibly delighted to see her marrying to a trustworthy guy who we strongly believed Azlan won't waste her.During the solemnization,we girls were appointed to be the dulang girls and usher.We ran here and there ensure the event went smoothly.I even tweeted every now and then to keep everyone updated in twitter.

To my dearest Alyani,CONGRATS again newly wed.You both are meant for each other.Good Luck in treasuring new phase of life.Marriage is a new beginning of life which I am sure you both will be amazing parents to the babies.

Your bims Kems will always loves u Els.So marina!

xoxo

A wrap up for 2011

2011-12-28T05:23:00.005Z

I am up to wrap all the things happened in 2011.Few days left before entering 2012,I have gone through lots of things for the past 12 months.Ups and Down,Thick and Thin and Bitter sweet.

It has been almost 1 year and 9 months since I came back,made up my mind to leave Dublin and settle down in Malaysia.Deep inside me,there is a bit regret and the rushing decision cause me a lot of tears these 21 months of living in KL.

Lots of things happened in 21 months and this year has been really tough.I thought i am the happiest person when I am back and nothing else really matter.Unfortunately,the next day I am the saddest person crying over things which I cant blame anyone.Things happened.

First,I lost my friends who I loved like a sisters.I guess it wasn't our fault and it happened without any realization.At this juncture,I know they are happy with their married life and my prayers for all of them.They were wonderful and thank you for all these years.

The other things which some of the readers are wondering is my long term relationship.The longest I have ever had and no one would understand what we have treasured together.We have ended this relationship after years of going through thick and thin.We have known each other since I was 12 and there were millions of memories left us behind.Eventually things didn't work out.Neither of us shall be blamed.But there's no point in dwelling over the past because moving on is all we need.

Everyday I pray he won't go but Allah knows what's the best for us.Even we have tried to work things out,sorted it and back on track to be normal,yet,it didn't sail smoothly.In the end,the best we could do is to split.To be honest,I miss his presence.I miss US and the memories we have treasured.I couldn't remain faithful to this relationship and stay and so he himself. "You don't know what you have,until you've lost it".So this quote keeps me going forward without regret despite I never stop loving him and pray we both will be grand in future.

I keep on reminding myself,I have waited him for long time and we shall seal the deal.However,Allah has closed our door although my heart shattered again.I experienced another life's biggest hurdles and being tested again.So much tears.So as I was looking at the pictures we had for 8 years,I realized,this is reality.I couldn't fight for my rights anymore and in the same time,I don't snatch anyone's happiness.We only live once.One day,all of us will die and none will stay.The effort in this relationship and silly things we have done together will be compiled as memories we had in the past.My love story ended.

Having to opt for the singlehood life,I strongly believed there will be one person to fit in, InsyaAllah.I don't opt for rebound love to replace him at any time soon.It takes me ages to mend my broken heart because the last person I want to be with is my future husband and until Jannah we will be together.And i know its hard to take another step without him around but everything has been written for us.Allah SWT is fair.He took away one of amazing part in my life but He replaced with another amazing thing.At this juncture,Allah has awarded me strong heart to live in the moment and cherish what He has given.I have my career,wonderful parents who never stop praying for me,lovely friends to support and strangers who I comfortable to hang with.(You know who you are)

Sometimes,I cried thinking how tragic life can turned out to be but Mama always reminds me,Doa is the best to heal the tears.At first i won't be able to see the beautiful life ahead,then realized,this is not what I want to be.I don't want to spend my entire life crying.I can't get what I really want and told myself to believe in qada' and qadar.There's always a good reason behind what had happened.Slowly,the sorrow I had faded and happiness is on its way.

Building my career is what I desired most.I loved my job so much (if you noticed from my previous post although it has been a while).Everyday I learn new things.My bosses are really supportive.It's just I keep my distance away from being typical conservative Banker.I want to enjoy everyday routine and my effort and hardwork pays off.Syukur.Planning for future and make PapaMama proud of my achievement is the best way to pay off what they have done after raising me.

At this time,I am planning to apply to work abroad and live outside from my comfort zone to gain more experience.Hazlind (my best girlfriend) has gone to San Francisco to seek her satisfaction by working in one of the biggest firm.She urged me to apply and I haven't done solat to resolve my doubt on applying.InsyaAllah,right after I come back from perform umrah in March,I will have the answer for that.It's not that i'm running away from my reality but its for future sake.I miss her dearly.She is my forever sister who always be my support system through my ups and down.

Being 26 this year and turning 27 in 2012,I had jot down my resolutions although some of it I haven't achieved yet.Hey,after all the resolutions keeps me going forward.Nevertheless,one of it is to have proper adulthood life.Its really long to justify what does it mean by "proper adulthood".Everyone deserved to be happy after all.I want to live as an adult not as a cry baby besides adjusting my unstable emotions.

Lets pray that 2012 will be great to everyone regardless they were in your past or they will be your future.May Allah always be with all of you.Trust me,life resembles more than novels and films.Either its happy ending or sad ending,life is fair.We only live once.Appreciate what's around you and acknowledge other feelings.Marriage is one of big step of responsibility and love you Job because that is rezeki for us to live.Remember "Allah tidak akan duga kita kalau dia tahu kita tidak mampu untuk menahannya"....

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year readers.I am looking forward for 2012.Bear with me till my next entry.I will update more on what's happening to share with all of you.Meantime,have a joy on new years eve.xx.

Reality hits

2011-09-03T20:56:00.003+01:00

When I started to be more focus on my career early this year,I am not a frequent writer since then.Work has taken most of the time.Mum always reminds me "to set my Nawaitu before leaving the house so that everything will go well.Also,I keep on reminding myself,"this is what I want",regardless how tough I have to go through everyday.Running errands,dateline papers,review accounts,enhancement,meetings,analysing financials and all work related had made me fully occupied.

My life have became too routine.I learnt new things everyday in the office in fact I love my JOB so much although I don't get to grab the chance going back early.Time is running really fast.Exactly 1 year and 6 months I have served to the Bank.Hard work PAYS isn't it?I am truly happy with people around me especially the bosses,directors who never stop encouraging and motivating.I am growing up in the Bank like a baby fyi.Seriously,I don't get extra pay for telling all these:0

It's third quater of the year(normally by now we are worrying of last quater of the business) and I am 26 turning 27 next year.Age is catching up,reality hits me everytime friends/family talking about getting a life partner.Its strangled me.Life is beautiful as we never know what's coming up around the corner.I am scared of commitment to be honest despite myself being so picky after went through bad experience.Nevertheless,I'll leave it to Allah.He knows what is the best.InsyaAllah,planning to perform umrah and i shall du'a at Jabbal Rahmah.According to mum,the du'a is more afdal and insyAllah ,Allah will grant the du'a.

I am sure lovely things are on its way.It's the matter of time.Oh well,reality bites.I shall write more in future.I'm on leave next week for my CCP examination held at UM by IBBM.Wish me luck.Attempting for the 1st time and counting on it to get my reward.

For now,Happy Eid Mubarak everyone.My apology for being silly sometimes,annoying with my lousy writing.And also,I am truly sorry if I've hurt directly or indirectly to the readers.May this Eid brings us joy and one step closer to Allah SWT.

Love,

Me.

Wordless Sunday

2011-09-03T20:12:00.011+01:00

2011-08-25T15:07:00.001+01:00

haven't blogged for so long!will update more.slmt berpuasa and eid mubarak:)

Hello!

2011-04-14T00:54:00.007+01:00

We all like to stay at comfort zone and so comfortable to get out of it.Life has changed tremendously since I have devoted into my career.Everyday I will wake up at 5 am and drive to work at 630.Hit the gym in the morning,continue work until night and find time to hit the gym again in the evening.That's what i called my COMFORT ZONE.The more and more work has been assigned,i get excited*running here and there,meetings and to be honest,I miss to blogggggg!!Hello earthlings!

At some point,my energy is draining.I spend most of my weekend sleeping and of course make up time for family and friends.Life has been pretty much exciting and syukur,I am at the stage of building up my career in corporate banking which is really challenging.I spend most of my time reading The Edge,economics,current relevant issues,reading Bursa and business side.I talk about business,gdp,current growth and yada yada.Boring innit!In order for me to survive in this competitive world,all I need is to fill myself with knowledge and undergo the extreme hardship.

Despite work,most of my friends are all settling down.They took another step in life and found their happiness.If you ask me,have i found the one.The answer is no.I have broken so many hearts and finding the perfect shoes to fit in is relatively the most hardest part now.Aisyah's got married in Feb and it was the most teary moment for us(the gang).The commitment is really tough for me.The moment Aisyah was solemnized by her dad,we all cried.But really,commitment is really scaring me to be honest.

Here's some pictures taken during the business convention and annual dinner for the company I am committing with : Affin Bank Berhad:)

I'll promise you to fill ur weekend with more in future.Have a good ahead:)

Love,

Akma.

2011-03-30T17:32:00.001+01:00

I am still here:)

♥

2010-12-30T06:29:00.003Z

You will have your heart broken and you will break other other's heart or maybe fall in ♥ again.

I will update more lovies:)Meantime my heartfelt CONGRATULATIONS to our Harimau Malaya.You guys made our last Friday of the year amazing to spend time with LOVED ONES..

Kindly Regards,

Akma

1432H

2010-12-06T03:52:00.004Z

Awal Muharam hass finally arrived,reaching 1432Hijrah and left 1431 with lots of bitter and sweet.My countdown has came to an end.In less than 2 weeks,I am going to hug papa and mama after 42 days been apart.InsyaAllah.Its hard though to be honest.The past few days when they left to perform haj were horrible.I cried,slept with their clothes on their bed and looking at the pictures.Back then,the feeling of leaving them to study abroad was differ,but stepping inside the house where normally both of them are at home was hard to explain.The house is so empty.I seldomly stay at home during the day due to emptiness and too overwhelmed of being HOME ALONE.but lucky me,a good friend of mine Lind has been sweet to accompany me at home although her workload is crazy!Thanks miss Auditor.

1431 left me with bundle of memories.There were so many things incurred in 1431.It started when my long term and distance rship was rocky,.Off late I was worried,panic and broke down.I ended up becoming slimmer than I am.Ok not now.Then I firmly decided to go back for good after being away and left Dublin.which was against my dad’s plan . He emailed me and told how frustrated he was when I told mum im going back. In fact I was hesitated to leave the place I called home for the past few years 2 weeks before my flight.Left Dublin on 1st March 2010.It appears that I was regret with my decision to come back .After all,it has written.Allah has a good plan for me although he tested me with so many things. Throughout the journey of becoming a career woman, everything was sailing smoothly.I was called by Affin Bank,then Cimb,Ambank.However,I opted Affin Bank because they rang me before other banks.I won’t be here without my parent’s doa and also Rina Azliza who told me to send my CV to Affin Bank.

Working life has taken most of my time.The next thing I know my alarm wakes me up at 5 am and off to work at 7 am then comes back at 9pm(minimum).But having my motivation and whole life support,I never complain(scared dad will gives me khutbah how hard he earns money).Syukur Alhamdulillah,hard work paid.Corporate Banking as a start isn’t really frustrating although I was really into Internal Audit as well as Treasury.Corporate atmosphere is perfect and my colleagues are all helpful. 2011 will be crucial year as I have to attempt Chartered Credit Professional then my ACCA.Enough of lingering around without classes,studies well of course,I can hands off from my desktop for study leave kan?Having a dad who push-me-to-the-limit to pursue higher levels,all plans have been summarized .I am back to be a part time student.InsyaAllah.I am so thankful dad never talks about sending me back to Dublin.

Have u heard Ireland recent crisis?I read news where IMF launched Irish rescue mission.It is really heartbreaking to hear the Ireland is facing the crisis. On 22 Nov, 90billion Irish bailout and market thrown into turmoil amid fears.However EU agreed to bail out Ireland for 89billion .Dublin is such a captivating place to be honest and also the people.I miss having coffee at Butlers with my good fellas and also Geraldine.I miss bounded with Irish accent where R is silent like lighter becomes “LIGHER”.I miss everyday shopping and broke.Recent news.snowing is mad in November up till now.Haaaa.sgt best!

The usual crowds I hang out still the same except everyone is busy with their own thingy. Still catching up if the time not collide with each other’s hectic schedule.I feel guilty not to spend more time with good friends since I started my career. Over the weekend since parents are not at home,I spent most of the time with close friends to fill up my time.Trust me, most of them are getting married soon and engaged too.How time flies.Unexplainable feelings.Hahaha;p

This weekend will be fully booked.Tomorrow: date with Dublin girls,Friday with Fatin(my close gym partner and lunchy buddy),Sat YCM meeting at Nikko Hotel and Sunday (Dessert with my girls Lala,Umi,Als,Pijot and Als' sista Nana).So the only time for the week is Wed and Thurs which im scared will end up in the office up till late!Anyhow,next weekend,papa mama tok will be at homeeeeeeeeee!!Yeay!

It’s a long entry I have written so far.Too many info.Pictures can be viewed through facebook and status on Twitter..

Selamat Menyambut Tahun Baru Islam 1432 H.May Allah award us good health to live more longer and experience new things in life.It’s a beautiful life we have now.Cherish it!
My resolutions are still KIV.The previous one haven’t achieved but what matter most is to be anak solehah to Papa and Mama.Amin.

with lots of ♥

Me!

Photo to share taken from Netball Tournament recently.Currently active with netball and futsal again..

......

2010-11-14T08:40:00.001Z

Packed all the memories and ready to deliver.

Lambaian Kaabah

2010-11-07T17:32:00.002Z

Alhamdulillah,this year PapaMama together with Tok were called to be Allah's guest in Tanah Suci,Mecca.I am so delighted and syukur after few years of waiting to be called,they were selected by TH this year.

Semoga Allah melindungi them,di panjangkan umur,kesihatan untuk menunaikan Haji yg mabrur.

I miss you Papa Mama:(

39 DAYS and counting...,

2010-11-02T00:45:00.001Z

It's time to move on and get over it.

20.10.10

2010-10-20T09:46:00.003+01:00

The date seems remarkable to everyone today...

Nothing much interesting today.I'm in the office and counting mins to pack and go straight to gym..I really need a good massage,indulging the body,mani and pedi,hair do and most important thing to lose weight.

Urggghhh.I am 5* kgs although everyday I spend my time in the gym.This is unacceptable.All i have to do is.......,

To control my food especially the cholestrol in the fast food.

*come on....*

So little time....,

2010-10-19T10:06:00.013+01:00

Bestie and her cousin,Datin CC aka Eyzra
Bonzai girlfriends and their fellow friends

Nieces

I barely realized my blog has been dumped.*Shuussshh*Work has taken over my life and how I myself am in love with work at the moment.Being the newly appointed ARM after 6 months of rotation within the bank has taught me real corporate world.Everyday i learnt new things,meeting new people and of course expanding network.It is like pure satisfaction.Thrufully i am so thankful to be here in corporate banking.My boss to be precised,he is one hell-workaholic-chinese man.He taught me to understand what is corporate,brought me to the meeting,dragged me to site visit while im wearing skirt(which is so not appropriate).He is just one genuine man who boost my motivation level as well as the team members.Besides that,I am now officially gym-freaks.My routine life has changed.I'll be in the gym after working hours until 8 and straight heading home(GYM is for the sake of loosing weight).So the circle will be:-

Sleep,wake up,breakfast,work work work,lunch,work work work,GYM, home sweet home.

There were so many things happened.Raya was incredible.This year the whole family(Mama,Papa& Me) were in blue.1st raya we were in KL and head back to Malacca on the 2nd raya.My nieces all get excited to see me with the camera.They were like went all out to pose here and there.Sheesh,kids are amazing creation.Being the only aunt(who doesn't look older),they treated me as friend.Oh well,it is the secret to look younger tho!

Work has been quite extreme past few weeks, but nonetheless, I'm still adapting.Now i appreciate how my Auditor friends,Banker,Accountants diverge their time to live in this real world.I loveee u all la big time!Although energy is draining,sometimes,u just need to balance with work,relationship and friendship.And sometimes, one thought leads to another, and another, and another two, and it goes on till I almost lose it especially my FUN life!My weekend has been spared for parent.That's it.

Anyway,these couple of weeks I have been attending friend's wedding as well as my long time best dude friend,Zhafir.Yes,he's married to Darsy.Tears streaming on my face when he texted me " I'm about to get married in few hours time.Doakan aku..".Zhafir met his destiny after a long await.Congrats my dearest bestie since 14.

Everyone has been asking my relationship.I must admit being 25 is way harder than 23.Every occasion which related to families,the same question popped,like " bila nak kawen?".Every now and then,I tried to make myself available to date,its just no " jodoh" at the mo.Allah has given me my true happiness which is career.Maybe later for my destiny?:P

On the other hand,bestie(Aysha)is about to engage in 1 month time.I feel honoured to be part of her engagement.We normally on the phone and discuss abt this that especially big matter.Another Aishah also getting married in Feb which us(the girls) are her flowergirls.Material is to be sent to tailor pronto.Besides that,my high school bestie, Shikin, gave birth to Zahra Amanda before Eid.Still can't believe she is a mother now.We were bimbos who tend to yell to each other.Haha.High school memories=)

These are people you can run to when you're stress or even when all you want to do is annoy them in the face and tell them happy stories.Friends and family complete me.I am human.We made mistakes and what is the most important thing is to cherish the friendship.I'm still in searching of perfect shoes ..

InsyaAllah....,

Selamat Berpuasa!

2010-08-22T05:00:00.006+01:00

picture taken from star jobs online and jobstreet

Please laugh.Gagagagaga;p .A long hiatus and here I am blogging after months,weeks,days,hours,mins figuring out when i shall start writing again.I haven't got time literally to write.Hello lovies & Selamat Menjalani Ibadah Berpuasa.It has been 12th Ramadhan.The thing I love about Ramadhan is that Sahur,Berbuka and Solat Berjemaah with dad&mum.It's different from other normal days where everyone is so busy to sit on the table and eat together.

So anyway,my final attachment will be finishing next week and im going to be attached to the exact department before raya after went through ups and down during the training.Finally! *Fuh*I am looking forward to experience real job & starts my career.I probably have no time to update this black book in case they send me to frantic department!

It's a great life to be honest. But of course,life begins at 25.So much pressures on "marriage,relationships and future hubby".Too bad no progress eventually.Not at the moment when I tried to erase my past and start my career.

I celebrated my 25th birthday with simplicity.Well,dad bought me a coach handbag while mum; hair steamer so I can DIY at home.Thanks to Yuyu Aziz who made a surprise the day before I turned 25 and Aysha & Marins on the day itself.I really appreciate every single thoughts.Really:)

I have to go now.Laundry bag is waiting to sort.All kelam kabuts now.Btw,my parents are going to perform haj in November.I am going to be home alone.Needless to say,I have to cook on my own:(

♥

2010-07-25T14:13:00.005+01:00

I was on the phone with a friend of mine.I was told my long lost friend said I claimed her name as my best friend?OMiiiigossssshhh.Poor u babe.I know who is my bfff and who is my ordinary friends.I havent talk to you for a long time and how could you say i mentioned ur name as my bff?Look,at this point,i guess u better reality check again.The truth is,I never put u as MY BEST FRIEND.I have list of my beautiful hearts girlfriends who have been my BFF for numbers of years.They were my support system through ups and down.Needless to say,pls grow up.We are no longer in high school and uni life.We are technically an adult.Ya Allah,please reward my friend a best friend she always wanted.Amin.

updates

2010-07-23T12:06:00.001+01:00

Will update the blog soon.sorry for the long HIATUS.

xoxo.

to Tasha with love,

2010-06-13T04:07:00.005+01:00

Dear Tasha Tahir,

When u are reading this,I want u to know how thankful I am to have u as my roomie although we have gone through ups and down for the past few years. I still remember when my heart was shattered and everyday u would see me crying on my bed.I was down,lost part of myself,everything was so awful and painful.The thing is,I was demoralized because I had no plan to leave him when he had another person.I just stand still and fight for it.You,Elina and Amy saw me went through hardest part in life and suffered.

Plus I still remember when u never listened the problems arose.U will ended up saying "MA,KAU JANGAN SOMBONG DENGAN ALLAH SANGAT".You hit me at one point.

Yes dear,you got the point there.You taught me to become stronger than I am,to pray to Allah,leave everything to Allah and instilled me a value of loving myself more.

You have no idea how tough I was when I'm about to leave the house,the kitchen,the room and of course all of you especially u.A person who always hard on me.A person who boost motivation level especially when comes to cooking.A person who purposely messed my wardrobe and of course teman ber-coffee Butlers.

and

Fyi,

Now,I have found what I really want in my life.All those things happened with a good reason.Probably the decision to go back had opened my heart although initially everyone was scared I would burn myself again.I've found what life has offered me.Friends,Family and Career all I have for now and recently,I just found a bit of love who ultimately brings happiness.InsyaAllah,I shall leave it to God

I miss you Tashaaaaa:(

your annoying crybaby ex-roomie

The only you

2010-05-23T04:40:00.002+01:00

You have no idea how it takes to walk through this stage.

To build the platform,to make it happen.

I have spending too much talking about you.

Too much on dreaming and keep on dreaming.

Maybe i shall stop dreaming and keep on moving forward without life-giving.

2010-05-20T16:20:00.002+01:00

Ignorance is always a bliss..

16th

2010-05-16T16:27:00.005+01:00

I just realised that i haven't blog anything since 9th of April.Weird isn't it?My schedule was pack with training and other stuff.Yea,currently hired by Affin Bank as Management Trainee.Alhamdulillah,my doa was granted.I am walking towards banking line as I planned before.

The first thing I did was to see the operation of banking as my first assignment.All the trainees were assigned to branch to do a report on how branch is operating daily.In another 2 weeks,we will be going to treasury(money market),then islamic banking and yada2.I have 6 months to explore all departments in banking.I'm expecting to finish training in october and will be absorbed.Well,hoping to get into Risk Management or Internal Audit or Islamic Finance dept.

Truthfully speaking,I enjoyed doing banking and guess what!!!,I have to take my ACCA papers by early next year.I was advised by one of the trainer to take the exam.Pfft.No choice!InsyaAllah,i'll be taking islamic exam(INSIF) after finishing ACCA papers.Meantime,i just want to focus on what i'm doing now especially digging out info on Anti Money Laundering Act.I spend most of the time reading all articles related.Oh well,nerdy me!

Life is grand.I experience new things everyday.Bit here and there.Despite all the fun I had everyday,Dublin is always in my heart.I do miss coffee-ing at Butlers,reading novels while drinking,watching strangers,cold weather,colourful leggings,cooking,all the shopping streets,eye-ing on guys(hahahaha;p) and of course,I miss the tenterfields.I miss my dearest housemates and also teman shopping topshop and primark,alyani:((

Sigh:(

I'll update more in future.Promise!

bye lovies.

Panic literally

2010-04-09T13:16:00.004+01:00

Nearly 12am yesterday,Papa knocked my door.He asked me to get a water for mama.

Me: "why?"

Papa: "your mum couldn't breathe and had chest pain suddenly"

I went panic and grabbed a cup of plain water.Ran straight away to their room.

Mama had chronic chest pain and we rang an ambulance since the condition was really bad.

After half an hour,she slowly breathe like normal but the chest was still in pain.Papa decided to drive her to hospital on his own rather than using ambulance.

We arrived at the hospital around 1am.The on call doctors brought her inside.They did the ACG and blood test just to confirm whether mum had heart attack.Moreover,they used the oxygen to support her breathing.Ya Allah,she was all pale.

At 3.30 am,one of the on call doctor asked papa to come in.Mama's condition was getting stable.He asked us to come back at 6 a.m as they wanted to do another test.Needless to say,I was so worried.I felt guilty of not being a good daughter.

Alhamdulillah,at 7 a.m,Mama was discharged from the hospital.I am so delighted she is getting better by now.You have no idea how awful her condition yesterday.I was scared of loosing her.Seriously,I can't imagine myself without her.I pray to Allah to give her good health and always be with us.Amin.She needs an extra strength to go through all these.

Anyway,the night before,I had a date with Liyana at Bubba.It was really nice to meet her after a while.Lets go out more often ok babe?

and

I just did major hair-do.Hahaha.I looked like a chinese sesat kan?Excitedly did new hair-do since next week I am going to start my career.Haha;p

Till then Lovies.

Pain in the arse

2010-04-07T14:12:00.003+01:00

I just hate the fact my dad is so GENEROUS to lend his money to all his nephews and nieces and relatives.Geeeeez,to them everything is so easy..It has brought to my attention everyone has been taking an advantage to daddy.Come on,life requires you to work hard and earn.Why be difficult when a bit of effort you can be impossible??They pissed me off totally.

Reality check

2010-03-30T15:06:00.014+01:00

I tried to come up with so many excuses why I didn't blog for so long.Busy!Oh well.Malaysia has been really hot.no kidding.Im sweating like a pig and of course the air conditioner is on for 24/7.Life pretty much the same.Contented.Reality has hit me today.I just realised I am back in Malaysia for 4 weeks=)

I love lingering around dad and mum often,watching tv together and of course hanging out -3 of us.Anyways,I managed to *bodek* daddy to buy me new d3000 after trembling his pocket to buy me LV.Recently my cam had problem with shutter.So I took the opportunity to ask him for a new cam.Haha.Mum is going for outstation this friday, so I'll be at home with daddy only.Great,just great.In another words I have to prepare food for him.*flip hair*

Relationship?Everyone has been asking me.Well,lets keep it simple,truth that hurts.I am glad I still have strength inside me to deal with everything.Regardless what happen,life must go on isn't it?Trust me,been betrayed is sucks big time.

xoxo

Malaysia so far

2010-03-23T17:21:00.003Z

Even I have to go through the sizzling hot weather,even I have to bear curfew set by my dad since I am back,even I have to switch on air conditioner 24/7,even I am putting on weight,

It's good to be back.

It feels so good to be back home where everything is so sweet .I have my pillar of strength,my loving friends and also my ride.Aha.I barely walk ok and refused to park car jauh2.lols.Surrounded by beautiful and loving girlfriends makes me so lucky!We had so much fun together.After almost a year and a half,I had my love all around especially from Dadddddyyyy.

Career?Still working on it.I had my 1st interview as Management Trainee at Affin Bank HQ last week.Had to do 3 hours of test,public speaking.Sheeesh.It was awful:(.I am still hoping to get job as lecturer.Aha.After all,I leave it to Allah.InsyaAllah,I believe good things will come in future.If my rezeki not in investment bank,I shall proceed to auditing/industrial or going for lecturing.

Literally busy catching up with friends and etc,sending out cvs and all,I haven't got time to update the blog.There were so many things occurred for the past 3 weeks.Oh yea,my face started to have breakouts,my skin tone is getting tanned and my bloody hair is so frizzy.I even went for facial and hair treatment but the outcomes still dissatisfied me!

Despite all that,my bestie,Yuyu finally engaged.Oh my,from small to biggie thing,everything was grand!She did on her own which I really adore.The dress from Rizman Ruzaimi was fab.She looked so stunning and I managed to set my hair okayy!Hehehe;p.Anyways,another friend is getting engaged too in April.This year will be fully occupied with engagements and weddings.I am planning to do my guest list for future engagement and weddings like Yuyu did.I shall finalize it before the big day.Haha.Dream on!

Syikin's tummy is growing when I met her 2 weeks ago.Sheeessh,glad she has no prob with her pregnancy.In case Ijah comes across this,make babies la babe by this year.

I need a beauty sleep now.More pictures dlm FB ok! That's all for now lovies.

♥

Compilation of whole week

2010-03-01T00:22:00.011Z

Scotland was amazing and freezing.Covered all except Edinburgh and our host were very kind and helpful.Thanks korang.Got back to Dublin on Tuesday,without realising I have so many things to do including packing.Another box was shipped again since there are zillions of things more in the closet.

26thFebruary:Had farewell party at JimmyChung with Montgomery's staff.

27February:Weekend was fully occupied with dinner and such.Kak Aishah and family cooked me delicious soto ayam and Suria & housemates cooked nasi ayam while the ivy girls with various type of food.I am stuffed and bloated.

28February:Last Sunday in Dublin,I had housemates dinner out.We had dinner at Captain America's.

1st March:Monday was the day.The day I left a place called here for the past 3 years.There were blacks and whites,ups and downs.I learnt so many things and 1st March remarkable date as I left place with so many treasures.

Upon arrival in Kuala Lumpur,I was surprised.My 2 besties were there.Yuyu and Aysha.I have made a plan to surprise Aysha but apparently,she made it first.She even hide behind my mum when I saw Yuyu standing next to mum.Sheesh.Hilman was there too.I hugged dad after a year of apart.Deep inside me,I still can feel the warm of his hug.Dad was delighted im back although we had arguments on my future.Even he dragged me to his office to see his new room.

Excitedly to be back in Malaysia..Schedules fully occupied until next week.Lunch-eon with Yuyu at Chilis BSC,dinner with family,visiting grandaunt(mak wo jasmin),weekend with the girls(spa perhaps),fitting baju for my bffffff's engagement,catching up with the friends,etc.fuuh.Although the weather is killing me.I relied on the air-conditioner since I arrived.Seriously,the heat is killing my head and spinning.

Blogging from Malaysia officially,

xoxo

Global warming

2010-02-21T00:42:00.003Z

Its snowing again tonite!I never experience snowing during the March because as far as I concern the spring is near the corner.Sheeesssssh,global warming issues. Every where in this world is having unstable weather.

I am leaving to Scotland for a short vacay tomorrow morn.Cross fingers.InsyaAllah.Hopefully the flight is still on.I heard Scotland is -10 degrees.

xoxo.

Underestimate

2010-02-18T21:38:00.006Z

Never underestimate your time especially when comes to packing.Goshhh.Time is running out.3 boxes are done and left me another 2 boxes to sort all my things inside.I still can't believe I am leaving a place I called home for the past 3 years.Well,this is what I wanted before.Padan Muka!I have sent my resignation letter to Jenny(my manager) and she was quite frustrated since Elina is leaving the company too.I really loved working with the team but as much as I loved working,I would love to be around my loved ones.

Throughout my 3 years here,I have shopped like no body business until broke.My dad was lecturing me on the phone about my shopping habit.He told me how could student shop lot than those who work?Mama always reminds me to value the money and not to waste.Haha:p.After all,I can't stop myself kan and daddy "dah botak kepala layankan my bad habit".

Last weekend,I had another dinner with the girls and mrs bagak(zils).We celebrated Bun and Mary's belated birthdays.Its going to be the last birthday dinner for this year and InsyaAllah,if I change my mind in future,this wont be the last.Tears streaming down my face when I saw each of the girls read my card I wrote for them.Its a valentine's card anyway.Alhamdulillah I am surrounded with such a wonderful crowds and exchanging taste esp handbags kan!

Anyway,I am going for a short vacation to Scotland visiting some friends there.Daddy sounds not happy im going for a hols before going back.I bet he scared I will miss my flight againnnnnnn:))

Papa,if you are reading this,pls pls pls pls let me go for a very very very short visit.I'll be on time!Promise=)

Till my next post lovies ♥

Diamonds are a girl's best friend

2010-02-16T01:14:00.003Z

I am not big fan of jewelleries but this ring captured my heart.Its 4.2 carat and princess cut from http://www.jewelryartdesigns.com/.Take a look at it.Offered you good price atleast!Hello bling bling diamonds.I am your new best friend:)

The days to come

2010-02-09T09:36:00.003Z

I always leave my packing last minute.All the shipping boxes are here.Some of them fully filled with 3 years stuff.It's really downhearted to see everything been packed.I have to gather everything including all my pinggan mangkuk,teapot and etc.I don't want to feel regret because this is what I have decided.Deep inside daddy,he always wants me to stay and learn the hurdle of life but I just want to be home although its not permanently since the probation is still on!

So Hello Malaysia in few weeks time.

P/S:I have to keep the date so I can make a surprise to my dearest yayangs.

Aysha,in ur dream la kannnnn:p

By Tun.

2010-01-29T19:54:00.007Z

By Tun Mahathir Mohammad

Politik Wang Dalam Umno.

1. Saya mendapat banyak laporan berkenaan dengan politik wang dalam UMNO. Demikianlah keadaan sehingga Dato Seri Dr Rais Yatim mencadang secara sinis supaya jawatan-jawatan Majlis Tertinggi ditender. Dato Seri Shahidan Kassim amat marah dan akan tender sebanyak RM1 untuk Rais. Bila makan cili rasa pedas.

2. Saya diberi tahu wang banyak digunakan. Dahulu cuma ketua pemuda bahagian sahaja dapat. Ini menyebabkan pemegang jawatan lain dalam pergerakan enggan bekerjasama. Sekarang semua mendapat sogokan dan hasilnya amat memuaskan bagi penyogok.

3. Ketua-ketua Bahagian dan ahli jawatankuasa juga dijemput ke Kuala Lumpur untuk berjumpa orang tertentu. Mereka di arah supaya mencalonkan orang-orang tertentu untuk Timbalan Presiden, Naib Presiden dan ahli Majlis Tertinggi. Juga pencalonan Ketua Pemuda. Berkesan atau tidak akan kita lihat daripada pencalonan yang dibuat.

4. Tetapi cawangan dan ahli biasa pun sudah pandai. Mereka menawarkan sokongan mereka jika sekian-sekian banyak dihulur.

5. Mereka yang menang boleh jadi Yang Berhormat, ahli Exco, Menteri, Timbalan Menteri, Setiausaha Parlimen, pengerusi syarikat-syarikat Kerajaan dan juga dapat kontrak berjuta Ringgit.

6. Ahli biasa yang memberi sokongan dengan undi mereka dapat apa? Dengan kesedaran akan soal ini maka penyokong dan pengundi pula berpendapat mereka juga harus dapat nikmat daripada pemberian undi mereka. Maka mereka akan menunggu sogokan sebelum memberi undi mereka.

7. Amalan rasuah dalam UMNO di semua peringkat sudah menjadi buah mulut orang ramai. Mereka jelek dan muak dengan UMNO, orang UMNO dan pemimpin UMNO. Perasaan benci kepada UMNO sebagai parti yang tidak bermoral merebak ke merata-rata tempat.

8. Orang ramai melihat UMNO sebagai parti pimpinan orang-orang yang berkepentingan diri semata-mata. Dari cawangan sehinggalah kepada pucuk pimpinan yang diutamakan ialah jawatan dan peluang memain kuasa dan buat duit apabila memegang jawatan.

9. Dalam pilihanraya umum 2004, rakyat memberi sokongan padu kepada BN. Ini adalah kerana rakyat percaya benar yang kepimpinan baru UMNO dan Barisan Nasional akan menjadi lebih baik daripada yang terdahulu.

10. Antara 2004 dengan 2008 mereka dapat lihat pemerintahan Abdullah dengan rasuah yang berleluasa dan keruntuhan ekonomi. Mereka juga lihat peranan yang dimainkan oleh keluarganya dan kroni mereka dan juga sikap ahli-ahli kabinet. Apa yang mereka lihat meyakinkan mereka bahawa pemerintahan ini tidak baik. Hasilnya ialah keputusan pilihanraya ke-12.

11. Mereka kecewa bahawa Abdullah bukan sahaja tidak membetulkan keadaan tetapi sebaliknya menafikan kekalahan dan penolakan oleh pengundi, termasuk yang terdiri daripada ahli-ahli dan penyokong UMNO dan lain-lain parti komponen.

12. Saya percaya orang ramai amat kecewa melihat mainan wang dalam UMNO sekarang. Wang akan mengalir dengan banyak dan laju semasa dan selepas pencalonan. Rumah terbuka oleh kementerian sedang diadakan dengan menggunakan duit Kementerian. Semasa rumah terbuka kempen untuk pencalonan diadakan.

13. Menjelang pemilihan bulan Mac 2009 lebih banyak lagi acara dan sogokan boleh diadakan. Kemuncak akan tiba apabila wakil ke Mesyuarat Agong tiba di Kuala Lumpur untuk bersidang.

14. Kata orang melihat kepada jawatan-jawatan yang dipertandingkan tiap seorang wakil boleh dapat hingga RM20,000.

15. Ada yang berpendapat tidak apa menerima sogokan tetapi tidak semestinya mengundi penyogok. Jangan percaya iman penerima begitu kuat sehingga tidak merasa terhutang budi. Lagipun duit yang diterima adalah duit haram. Yang menerima akan menanggung dosa.

16. Terimalah. Pedulikan jika semua orang tahu. Apa salahnya. Dosa, dosalah. Tetapi seperti disebut di atas apabila pengundi pilihanraya umum sudah benci dan bosan dengan UMNO mereka akan undi parti lawan untuk kalahkan UMNO. Selepas kalah tidak ada lagi jawatan Perdana Menteri, Menteri dan lain-lain. Tidak akan ada lagi kontrak, AP dan lesen.Tidak akan ada lagi nikmat! Semua pihak akan merana, akan dihina oleh orang. Dan UMNO akan habis riwayatnya. Mereka yang betul-betul sayang kepada UMNO akan kutuk pemimpin dan ahli UMNO.

............................................................

Isu politik wang dlm UMNO sendiri sudah lama diperkatakan.Sesiapa sahaja yang melibatkan diri dalam politik,segala business tender senang nak dpt as well as student-student abroad nak mintak scholarship although they were not excellent.As long smua ada connection and network,maka senanglah nak dapat.The reason I brought up this issue not because I was frustrated tak dpt scholar jpa ke apa.My main concern is that,sampai bila the issue Politik Wang akan berakhir.Think this way,in another 20 years,peneraju Malaysia definitely us(ok,referring to those who participate in politics).Whenever we came across politic's view,smua org kata kotor.As dirty as it may seem,I think all of these humiliation have to stop.Otherwise our next generation might see the leader incompetent.Everyone wants to use the politic as their step to expand network and business but we have forgotten old folks,poverty people and orphanage who desperately needs a money too.If we want to cater our own needs,how about them?

I was tremendously shocked looking at pemuda-pemudi became gluttonous and extreme in politic.They involved in this area just to earn more money by rasuah etc.So now,what is the solution?Young politicians should have not repeat the same thing.They should clear the issue "POLITIK WANG in future and never utilised the opportunity to lead for their own sake".I presume the future leaders will explore and lead to good way.I personally believed,everyone has their own choice to choose and support which parties they think "the best".

I beg young fresh leaders to take what Tun's word as catalyst.Don't be too extremist and blame everything on current leaders or whatever related.We have to do something about it.By reading at the comments in Tun's,I assumed most of the comments were from young people who speak their mind.Lets us pray the dirty politics wont happen again in future.I would love to see the politic's view as please as it is!Perjuangan belum selesai.Let us harmonize the politics and free from politik wang.Kalau kita dah mati,Allah will not ask how much you have in your bank but He will ask,what have you done to the money.Rezeki seseorang itu telah ditentukan.Usaha yang diberkati lebih afdal.InsyaAllah.

"Its easier to put on slippers than to carpet the whole world"-Al Franken

Regards,

Myself.

A piece of plastic

2010-01-27T23:03:00.002Z

Its just because of Miu Miu,I fall in love.Then I realized,its only a piece of plastic.Pfft.Guilty is a pleasure.And even if I regret to purchase the shades,there's nothing I can do about it.So yes,i can now MEOWWWWWW because of that lousy purple shades.

Meowwwww to Miu Miu.Period.

2010-01-25T18:47:00.005Z

Hello Lovies!

Weekend was amazing and yet so disgusted.I spent most of the time buying stuff(again) and lingering around city.Bumped into Mary on saturday and went coffee-ing with her.Then heading to Fridays for dinner with the fellas.I didn't join the club after because it was so freezing.Mati ok if balik around 3-ish.Frozen tros plus it has been a while.

So yesterday,went shopping again with Mary.I bought plates,mugs and few stuff.Ger rang me up for a quick coffee and I met her after that.Poor Ger,she told me the reality hasn't hit her.She was really closed to her mum and still feels her mum presence.To Geraldine,be strong!You can always celebrate Mother's day with ur loved ones:)

Besides that,

Mary and Bun are officially 25!Happy Belated Birthday u ols!Syggg sgt.

and also,

my Akma comel is turning 25 on 26th Jan:)

Happy Birthday dear.Love sgt!Lets plan for vacay once im back!

xoxo

Busybee

2010-01-22T21:50:00.004Z

Time to write!

My schedule was literally busy from the beginning of the year.I haven't got time to blog and write innit!Time is running.This whole week,I was fully occupied with this and that!Well of course,sale is almost over!I went mad looking at the discounted items!Imagine all designers on sale up to 70%.Gila ok!I actually trembled my wallet again and went broke!Aha.Totally mad like "tak der hari esok la kan"!

Life has been pretty much the same.Plain old me!Emotionally distracted sometimes which I will ended crying on the phone with daddy & mummy.Missing the girlfriends so much esp Yuyu and Akma who went back couple of weeks ago.So sad!

Anyways,currently the weather is getting better compared to the week and week before.It was freaaaaaking cold.Ya Allah,the snow was really heavy.The road was slippery.Dang.Everywhere was white!I managed to balance myself from slip on icy ground.Scary tau!

Good news I received last weekend was really pleased me.My bgf Syikin sent me an smses which I ended crying.She is pregnant and yes my best friend is carrying a baby,is soon to become a mummy and is going to give a birth iN 7-8 months time.Syukur.I am so happy for u dear bestie.You know I always love u kan!Please take care of urself yang.

Besides that,another bestie is getting ehem ehem.I wish I was there to sort her things out.Alhamdulillah she told me 80% has completed.I miss u terribly:((.You know who u are.

I shall sleep by now,seriously.I do need beauty sleep.Yesterday went crazy in Kildare and so today in city.Everything was massively sale.I'll write more in future.Take care lovies.

Love,

p/s:Geraldine's mum died on Monday.May she rest in peace.I am truly sorry for ur loss Ger:(

2010-01-03T09:02:00.002Z

I miss the sacarsm and the skype session.It has been 2 weeks since we spoke.I am sorry if u think I have been lying behind ur back.I never intended to lie on u.

Should I give up?

Two -O-Ten

2010-01-01T22:12:00.005Z

I have been super duper busy off late & haven’t got the time to even literally breathe since my yayangs came over to visit me!Here I am blogging on the 1st day of 2010.Welcome two-O-ten.Syukur Alhamdulillah,I have gotten this far with His blessings.

Happy New Year readers!

It took me an hour to think what to scrib down as a start.There were so many "things"happened during the year of 2009.Too many things to share.Black and White.I pray this year will be a better year than 2009.I must admit 2009 has taught me to learn and experienced intriguing things in life.Allah has given such opportunity for me to take those as part of lesson in life and step forward to move on.

Anyways,I fall asleep during the new years eve.I was so exhausted yesterday and couldn't careless to wait until 12am.Haha.It was heavy snowing in Dublin during the countdown.Lucky Dubliners who went out to celebrate!Sheeesh,Dublin is snowing earlier than i expected.

Since I am entering proper adulthood(im turning 25 for god sake) ,I have added more resolutions since none of my last year's achieved.Ok berangannn;p

-Start my career and develope it.I have to update my cv and plan my next step of working in corporate world.Work hard!

-Spend wisely and start to invest.Atleast I can get the interest and spend for Gucci bag rather than shop till i ultimately drop.Hahaaaa;p

As for now,

Happy new year again to fellows Dollslavida reader.Sending ♥.

Toodles.

Not so white christmas & sleepover

2009-12-25T19:33:00.008Z

Had sleepover & yucking here and there at my place since the house is empty and dinner for christmas.Now I am stuffed with lots of fat.Haha.Sheeesh.Anyways,Yuyu is arriving tomorrow.Im all excited and well prepared to cry at the airport.Well,let the pictures do the talking will yea?Burp;p

Merry Christmas to all readers.

xoxo

Quick visit

2009-12-22T12:00:00.010Z

They came to visit Amy.So we had lunch and dinner since they have to catch morning flight.It was confidential visit.I could see Amy's happy face when she met her family members.Now,im officially homesick.I terribly miss everything at homeeeeeeeee..

6 a.m

2009-12-20T06:02:00.003Z

Daddyyyy rang me at 5 am while im still having beauty sleep.Sheeesshh,he asked me to ym-ish immediately because few relatives from Singapore came over to pay him a visit.Nothing like unconditional love kan?So I had to wake up and went online.I got to see my not so little cousin Ica after a while.She has grown up and so Fudaili.Hello cousins!Hope to see u more in future.

Here I am blogging while everyone is still snoozing.I took the opportunity to do my laundry since this evening we are expecting guests(Amy's auntie and uncle).I'll post some pictures later tonite.These couple of days,I have to bear the irish weather.Freezing sgt.It was snowing back on wednesday but not as much as UK.hampeh btol.I really hope to celebrate white christmas perhaps it will be my last christmas before heading back to kaaayyy ellll.Everyone is leaving:(

Yesterday,Fairy and I had put on Lush facial mask.blerrrrghhh,mcm tepung gomaaakkkk okay!

Till then lovies.

You.

2009-12-19T00:51:00.006Z

Irritating for repeating it,but I feel so annoyed.I extremely felt sorry your english is worst when you are trying to emphasize your feelings.Such a drama queen.I honestly think there are so much things to think about rather than making dramas! Allah s.w.t offers life to be shared with the ones you love and given that opportunity, use it wisely.Remember,life is what you make of it and how you want it to be.We should have welcomed 1st Muharram 1431 Hijrah free from grudge and open a new book.What did u get from bimbo-ish ur self?Grabbing all attention?

..............................................................

Hati yang bersih dan selamat (qalbun salim); iaitu hati orang mukmin yang taat kepada Allah dan RasulNya, benar-benar mengasihi keduaNya, mengutamakan Allah dan Rasul dari segala yang lain dan cita-citanya tidak lain hanya untuk mencapai keredhaan Allah. Hati jenis ini bersih sepenuhnya dari kufur dan syirik dan segala jenis penyakit hati sama ada penyakit syak (ragu-ragu), riyak, ‘ujub, sum’ah, hubbud-dunya (cintakan dunia), hubbun-nafs (cintakan diri), hasad dan sebagainya. Hati inilah yang dikehendaki oleh Allah di mana di akhirat Dia tidak akan menerima melainkan hambanya yang mengadapNya dengan membawa hati jenis ini. Firman Allah;

“(Hari kebangkitan itu) ialah hari yang tidak akan memberi manfaat harta benda dan anak pinak, melainkan orang yang datang mengadap Allah dengan hati yang salim (bersih dan selamat)”. (asy-Syu’arak: 88)

Berkata Imam Hasan al-Basri; “Ubatilah hati kamu kerana Allah hanya mengingini dari hamba-hambaNya hati yang baik dan soleh”. (al-Wafi, Dr. Wahbah az-Zuhaili, hlm. 40).

Dear You,

May Allah always be with you.I had enough of pondering words.Tired of indirectly telling that I found out u read my blog and poured inside the facebook.Its really pathetic tau!Get over it la.

Kindly Regards,

Myself.

Family Man

2009-12-15T11:40:00.005Z

Papa and I always argued.Yes,we have different kind of thoughts and I am very kiasu.Back in high school,he has been controlled me and hit me because I'm so rebellious and stubborn.He refused to give me a freedom of being teenagers.He dragged me to join Taekwondo,sent me to Abacus class and made my schedule packed with all sort of classes which I hate to the max.At that time,I haven't realised that he wants the best for her only daughter.He made me "mandi" air magazines" i bought,threw my perfumes into the dustbin because I obtained B's and C's in the exam.Sheeesh,papa was so strict.

So really,he has been hard on me during my teenagers and I have to obey him in anyway.But because of his strict-ness,his hard-ness and his contolled-ness,I won't be here and became a human.He made my life now,well at least I didn't turn out to be jerk.These few days,I haven't had chance to speak to him because he was busy attending this and that.

I rang him while he was on his way back home.We had long father-daughter conversation while he was driving.Mama had to hold the phone and made loud speaker.Likewise,he made his LAME-ANNOYING jokes,match made me with his friend's son and remind me not to spend on shopping.We both kept on laughing,yucking here and there and on the other hand,Mama was abandoned by us.Poor Mama.

Papa and I became a good friend since I entered Uitm.We sit together and discuss serious matter.Even if I have financial problem here,I didn't go to Mama instead.I'll send him an email then ring him.Mama always think Papa has spoilt me.Oh well,that's the privileged of being daddy's girl isnt it?Papa has agreed with my decision to go back for good.Yeay!Im so relieved but he gave me only a year probation.Sheeshhh 1 year only okaaay?

I can't wait to be back.Papa wants me to pursue professional exam in UK or Masters in Adelaide after 1 year probation.I prefer to study in Malaysia though!Hahaha.We'll see how it goes after that.I shall doa what's the best for now.I need a good experience in corporate world.Despite all that,I just want to be with my loved ones and friends.Terribly missing everyone:(

Thank you Papa.Adik sayangggg Papa alot and alot.Erggh,can i get extra money for boxing day?*COUGH*

Endless time

2009-12-13T23:11:00.003Z

I am absolutely terrible at managing my feelings especially dealing with endless time misery.Hilman and I have gone through ups and down to build up the relationship again.I become fragile at times.Hilman tried his best to comfort me in anyway.Tq yayang.Sheessssh,i probably need a retail therapy.It has been a while since I had my shopping treatment.I have so many things in my head.Boxing day in twooooo weeks time,Yuyu & Kema's visit and new years party. I am still doing very little with my time:(

Anyhowwww,Good Luck to my dearest friends who's battling with professional papers.InsyaAllah,youcandoit.Haha.I haven't registered for my June exam.Eyyyy,can I take other course rather than accounting?Haha.Perhaps,interior design ke?I can be a good consultant though.Imagine,im consulting people how they should decorate and what color they should match with.Cool isnt it?Unfortunately,im bad in drawing.
.........................................................................................

A little note to whom it may concern,I knew u have been reading my blog and tried to jeopardise everything.Threatening is not the solution.You are growing old woman!Face the real fact in your life.Find your inner strength and keberkatan Allah.Stop bothering.Allah has given such opportunity to treasure life,percaya pada Qada'and Qadar as well as live as muslimah sejati.You are embarassing yourself and honestly think before you do.Atleast think about your mum and dad who brought you to this world.I think I have had enough of pondering words.

Off to bed now lovies ♥

Finally

2009-12-11T10:45:00.011Z

My ding dong gf officially Mrs Iskander today.I was delighted and tears stremming on my face when Isk and Fiza sat on the dais.Then I quickly ended the call because I didn't want all the guest to see me crying.

I woke up at 9am in the morning and put on my kebaya just to get the feelings of being there.We were on the skype for 5 hours.Everyone was there.The family and close friends.Everyone greeted when they saw me on skype even the bride's mother.She told me not to cry during the akad.Sweeettt of u auntie!Fiza's little nephew even held the laptop when Nor was busy sitting next to Fiza.Isk even waved at me on skype.

More pictures dlm facebook okies:)

Of course I wish I was there to celebrate her.Its beyond my words to see my close girlfriend got married to a nice guy,Iskander.Alhamdulillah.

Please take care of my babe Isk.I know u will.I'll pray for your happiness.

Love,

7 hours before..,

2009-12-11T01:06:00.004Z

I left 7 hours before my ding dong,bonzai and not-so-yikes gf changing her status as a wifey.InsyaAllah,ill be on skype at 8 am precisely.I remind myself not to cry because this is not funeral referring to Sabby's quote before her solemnization last week.Oh congrats sabby!I can't wait to share the moment with Nor and Fiza.I rang her few mins ago and she's still on bed.

Me :"are you nervous?"

Fiza:"no,im so sleepy now.."

Me:"i'll c u in few hours..gosh,wake up la bride!"

Hahaha:p

So I rang Nor while she was on bed too.What on earth they still on bed at 8am.Sheesh.Anak daras nie:)

Nor:"ma,fiza is no longer single.im so sad.pls come back".

Me:"me eitherrrrrr.can't believe she's getting married in 8 hours from now.I promise tak nangisskype nnt!"

Nor:"ma,pls don't make a scene.it will embarrass u because everyone is going to look at u.pls come back."

Me:"im nerrrrrvous.*breath in,breath out*

I better get going now.I have 7 hours to sleep before the *kaypoo* session.

Good luck babe.

Millies-nyum

2009-12-09T20:32:00.004Z

I cannot resist myself to munch this & that today.From eating crackers,chocos,then pizza and finally Millies cookies Anis bought for me.The bad thing about eating junk food is im putting on weight.Haha.LMAO.

I was supposed to cook for Bun but due to Irish weather,I decided to stay at home instead.Sorry ok Bun.I'll cook my newly found recipe masak lemak cili api later.

Anyways,my bonzai gf Hafizah Nazaruddin is getting married this friday.We gonna on skype during the make up session as well as the solemnization.With the technology we have these days, it’s not hard to be part of her big day although im miles away.Sometimes I feel physically apart from my loved ones sucks big time because i miss the big day.But it doesnt matter.I want to witness my beloved gf changing her status to Mrs Iskander this friday 11/12/09.

Incase you come across this darling,I want u to know I am so happy for u and Isk.Im sorry Im not there to share the joy, all in one package.I definitely going to cry this friday.Remember,u are my choc on top of my ice cream.A friend whom I love so much and keep your red frame u gave to me before i left.Sob sob:(

♥

your dear to the heart gf:)

p/s:Gemoknyerrrrrrrrrr I!

Remain faithful

2009-12-07T01:02:00.004Z

There's always a good reason of things occured in life.I decided to take 14 days whether to remain faithful or leave it.I left 4 days before i take a step ahead.The past cannot be changed thats for sure but the past remain painful for the next years to come.There are certain things I have to consider before the final decision.Bad and Good memories.I really hope 2010 brings a new beginning of myself.

What has brought to attention is the Truth I have to face.I spent most of the time thinking what is the best for me and of course surrounded by wonderful and supportive friends,they want the best for me.Every time I came across the pictures,my heart skipped a beat.I despised the pictures and cursed it.My only question is how could you?The truth revealed one by one.Allah has shown me.

Having amazing parents,loving friends and family,made me want to retain beautiful life in future because everyone loves me.InsyaAllah.Why should i sacrifice my whole life loving someone who hurt my feelings?Convincing me,this wont happen again is not enough to promise me beautiful life ahead.I had the time of my life loving someone who jeopardised my trust.

I pray to Allah to lead me and give the best petunjuk in life,bestow me a strong heart because I need an extra strength.If we meant for each other,we remain forever and if its not,there will always be another destiny.Leading up to this day,I must say myself is still confused and work things out.I tried to avoid from talking about the past but the pain inside,only God knows.

Im feeling demotivated.In 4 days,anything can happen.The time will tell.InsyaAllah.

Swapping

2009-12-06T23:04:00.009Z

Christmas is around the corner.The Ivy girls organized Cris kindle and every one of us has to find perfect gift to exhange pressie which cost 30 Euro.Today,we had the swapping session.Mas,Syafa,Els cooked the bomb grilled chicken while I baked my traditional kuih bakar as part of the event.

My attempt to fool Bun was the funniest thing ever.During the draw,I *tipu sunat* her kononnyer I have to buy stuff for Els.Dang.Apparently I was late today.Everyone saw me wrapping the gift which was so obviousits for Bun.Hahaha.

Bun:Aldo clutch
Mary:Benefit Make up set
Syafa:Beat Perfume
Mas:Pearl set
Ryn & Safia:Dress
Els:English mirror

and of course I got my warehouse quilted bag,a gift from Els.

Everyone was soooooo delighted with the gift.Wish for christmas came true.Ok,my another wish is to get chanel bag but im still not afford to buy it on my own.tak per la,I had my so-look-alike-quilted-chanel.Sigh**

Christmas is less than 2 weeks.I am expecting 2 of my good friends coming over to pay me a visit all the way from Malaysia.So excited tau!

p/s:Please sedekahkan Al-Fatihah to a friend of mine who loss her mother today.To Tengku Eleanor,my condolence to u and family.Semoga Allah mencucuri rahmat keatas ur mum.Be strong girl.Innalillah.

Baby Rayyan

2009-11-30T12:14:00.005Z

Everytime I miss my friends,I will go through friends album and laugh at the pictures.Thats the only way when you miss having them around.I extremely miss being around with my loud and kayypoooh bgff Syikin ,Zuzu si Zhafri,Syapha and Mimie.We were the most kaypooh gang back in secondary school.I know some might hate us because we were too loud and we made fun of people*COUGH*.

Recently,Mimi just gave a birth to an adorable lil boy named Abiel Rayyan.As adorable as his name,everyone in the gang was so happy having him as part of us.Jep claimed he is the god father and lil rayyan has to call him babah.Omggg Jep,over tau!I can't wait for another baby in the gang.Syikin,pls take note:)

So Hello Baby Rayyan.Welcome to the world and Congrats Mimi & Bard.I love both of u and the baby too.Glad you both became Mummy & Daddy.InsyaAllah,ill visit you sometimes next year.

Despite baby Rayyan,my baby*blerrrrghhh*,sent me his design.It is a gallery which I havent got any clue what gallery is that.Gosh architecture is soooo unacceptable.I found it very craps.Haha.Sorry syg,too bad im not an art person.

Me:"what the hell is that?"
Hilman:"Its a gallery atas awan"
Me:"what on earth u build the gallery atas awan"
Hilman:"You'll never understand the architecture,its beyond your expectation"

Fine.He dicthed me off.Eyyyyy,susahnya org art nie!Hahaha.

Leading up to this day,I miss him so much.I miss being around with an art student where we talk different language.We will ended asking each other

"You faham ke apa i cakap nie?"

and both nodded as in we understand the issue.

LMAO.

The end of Nur Kasih

2009-11-28T00:53:00.006Z

The end of tragedy which really petrified Nur Amina's life.Adam and Nur Amina finally got back together.Im glad the end of Nur Kasih was good.I shall give credits to Khabir Bhatia for doing great job.Nur Kasih has been the main highlight since June and everyone in Dublin inc me looking forward to watch it every Friday.So this is it.Nur Kasih's series ended during the Eid Adha.

I was amazed with Adam's quote.

"Tuhan takkan menduga kita lebih dari ape yang kita mampu tanggung"

The quote is precise.I must agreed with that.It is definite.There will always be a good reason of something or Hikmah.Good things is from Allah.Karma never exist in Islam.There was one time, a friend of mine corrected me when I wrote my status "karma will bite you back".It should be qada' and qadar.and again,Nur Kasih series has left good impact to everyone.Khabir Bhatia has inserted good value in his story.Too much to be elaborated but i learnt something from this series.

Oh,I skipped the solat raya this morn.I woke up around 9 and there goes my eid prayers.I received few calls during the morning and smses for raya all the way fr Msia.Thank you!Luckily I managed to speak to PapaMama after they got back from Melaka since the line was sucks big time.Lol.I think Melaka should upgrade the line though!

Anyways,Serene rang us up for dinner at hers.So I baked her my traditonal fav cake-Kuih Bakar since today's menu was more traditional.Its RAYA kan!Innitially I thought of baking brownies but since I havent tried before, i sticked to my Kuih Bakar.The food was fab-sedap-nak-mati.Besides that.I have made a surprised for Serene and Nuar by wearing hijab to their place.Haha.Serene was asking me,kenapaaa?Haha.Its so akward seeing me with hijab but who knows I might change kan?InsyaAllah soon!

Few Snaps!

Licin kot everything:p

and,

this would be my fav pick,

Fairy & I

Happy Eid Adha muslims.

p/s:no such thing of korban kasih ok.korban la lembu or kambing rather than kasih.haha:p

LDR

2009-11-24T00:25:00.006Z

A new beginning of LDR.

Hilman and I connect through msn,ym,smses and phone calls everyday since we got back together.I have to bear Long distance relationship 's consequences especially time difference.Everyday i will ended crying on the phone because i feel so tough to fit in.Maybe it’s because I feel a little down whenever I realise he’s a million miles away from me.

He has been really up to his architecture assignments while im so free and need to be entertained.When im about to sleep,he wakes up.I have to bear his smses come in around 3am while Malaysian time is 11 am.I guess thats part of LDR.There will always be ups and down.The only thing is to stay positive.

A new beginning of something I had before.Syukur,I feel so much better although im fragile at times.We’ve been through so much together, and I know we can get through this.Meantime,I shall doa for us.Thats all i afford to do.

Yayang,If you’re reading this, I just want to say thank you for being in my life again.

Love,

*Your annoying,cry baby and emotional gf*

Oh yea,im going to put back the stalker column because I found out someone has been stalking on my blog and making yadayada stories.Gosh,get a life woman!You should look around you and u'll see something that shining.Allah has given u big oppurtunity to see the world.Can u imagine those who born with blind eyes lagi kesian ok.27 is so old to be pathethic ok!

:)

3 a.m

2009-11-22T02:52:00.006Z

Blogging while having coffee next to me and i couldnt sleep for the past few weeks.I havent got time to update here and there.So,this is it.Blogging in the middle of night while everyone is sleeping.

well,

Since Mummy left,I started to feel the emptiness.I spent 24 hours with her for 2 weeks and we had fab time together.Everytime I used my telekung,i still can smell her perfumes.It makes me miss her so much.Sending her to the airport was the awful moment ever.I hate the fact we have to be apart again and i couldnt take it anymore.

Before i begin to write more,my relationship status in facebook has changed.And yes,Im in a relationship with him again and this is for real.I must admit my heart has broken into pieces and to mend my broken heart was the toughest phase in my life.Everyday i would miss his presence even i tried to hide it.

I have gone through rigorous years of deleting him from my life.I tried my best but I failed.To be honest although we ended our relationship,we still keep in touch everyday.Then i realized i can't live without him even i started to mingle around.To this extend,I have hurt so many feelings just because I couldn't get over him.I never intended to hurt anyone.I am truly sorry.

As I tried to reconcile everything a month ago,I figured out astonishing news which shattered me.There's another person in between us.It takes 2 to tango isnt it?Can you imagine myself have to face all this again?I was extremely breakdown and I couldn't stop crying.My condition was unstable and vulnerable everyday.I must say i have no strength to fight the pain.Allah has tested me again.

As pathetic as it may seem,I spent most of the time blaming myself for being idiot.He tried to convinced me and promised everything will be fine but deep inside,I was devastated.I felt betrayed and cheated.Life has its way of teaching me from rights and wrongs but not in this relationship.My door of happiness was shut in the middle of recon.

I was down and couldn't think what's best for us.Things wasn't right.I lost my appetite and couldn't sleep well for the past a month.I pray to Allah to bestow me strength everyday.Mum came at the perfect time when i was down.She was here to calm me down.I was surprised when he actually handed mummy a box of khazanah jewellery box the night before mummy flew to Dublin.A gift for my graduation and an apology.

Things happen for a reason.I opted to take a risk again of investing my life to a person i love most besides mamapapa.I'm filled with so many questions in my head. Have I made the right choice?Eventually,I woke up from my sorrow and ready to start all over again.This would be the last chance i shall give for this relationship.Im leaving the past and open a new book with him as a start.

Something that I will remember forever and will really keep me going is my strength which Allah has awarded me although i was utterly suffered before.I gained my strength.My relationship with him is getting better.Everyday we try to work things out even Long Distance Relationship is sucks big time.All i can rely on is trust and im sure Allah will lead me.I only can pray the best for us,InsyaAllah.I strongly believed,Allah will guide me even he took away my happiness for a while.

..............................................................

Confrontation

2009-11-20T15:38:00.002Z

I had small argument with papa just now.I'm sorry for making all these nonsence decision which hurt u papa.I never intended to do this.Papa refused to allow me going back for good.He wants me to stay and pursue studies.However,myself wants to go back and work.I want to be a career woman and do part time studies.He thinks the idea of working and studying are ridiculous.I know papa wants the best for me but................,

I seriously want to go back.I miss everything i used to have.

With love,

2009-11-20T02:44:00.005Z

and she left...,

2009-11-18T15:57:00.008Z

After spending quality time together,Mummy finally left me today.I couldnt hold my feelings.I cried all the way.I still can feel her presence.I miss her already.

Thank you Mama for everything.

so,before she left,we had our ;

last coffee session

as well as last dinner

I miss u Mama:(

Adik loves You.
alot

Nothing is worth more than this day

2009-11-15T11:33:00.015Z

Syukur Alhamdulillah.After 2 years of juggling,stressing and crying,I managed to receive my scroll in front of Mum and the rest of guests & graduants although Dad wasnt here to share all these.I wish u were here to share the most anticipated day of my life.

Anyhow,the conferring was held in the evening.I woke up as early at 9 am & went for my makeover at Benefit Debenhams.The make-over was fab.I mean its naturally looks and not over doing it.Lil bit less better.Then heading home and dolled up.I wore my tailor-made kebaya which I really loved the design.

Fairy,Rina,Syira,Bobo,Ayman,Yan,Marina and housemates,were there to celebrate us.Thank you so much lovies!Those who sent me smses,again,Thanks alot.The ceremony was incomplete without Iskandar and Nurudin,thats for sure.They should have been here with us.Unfortunately,both are engaged with work and studies in Malaysia.

....................................................

The result:)

Mommy and I

Ash & Tasha

♥

and,

I couldnt emphasize what was my feeling when James Browne called upon my name.It was mixed feelings.Sad,Happy and Proud.After all its worth of tears.Back then,i was excited during Uitm's graduation.Tak der rasa nak menangis but this time I almost dropped my tears because I have gone through ups and down throughout my studies path.A new beginning of life.

I would like to thank everyone who has been my support system through out years.Thank you for being there when i need a place to shelter.Besties,u all paling termuah.Im thankful for having wonderful friends who always boost my motivation level,who sent me smses,who called me when i was breaking down,who advised me in anyway,who concerned alot more than they should and who taught me to be strong person.

and also,

I would never done this without my pillar of strength .Thank you PapaMama for all those things.Thank you for the financial assist u have provided,forking out savings for the sake of my future,praying hard for me,rang me everyday to ensure im fine,listened to my studies,relationships and friends problems,remind me to recite quran and doa and not to mention,UNCONDITIONAL love.You both are my reason to live.

Love,

Myself.Recent Accounting and Finance graduates:)

♥

Our bonding:)

2009-11-12T01:53:00.003Z

Despite being Daddy's girl,I am Mummy's girl as well.Haaa.I had amazing time with Mama in London although its only 3 days trip.We had another bonding,shopping,coffee-ing and heart to heart session in London.Everything was perfect.Undoubtedly,we wish Papa is here too.

Shopping was not the main purpose of going to London because we talked all the way.Non stop.1 and half year stories compiled during the trip.I cried,I laught and I mumbled.Aliaa has been really nice host.We did our pillow talk by the time Mama started to snooz.Haha.

The 1st day,we spent whole day shopping in Bicester.Suprisingly,I managed to control myself but Mama couldnt help herself spending.I begged her to buy me Mulberry small tote but she refused.She said I should buy my dream handbag rather than buying small tote because I had my Gucci last July.Fineeeeeeee:(.So I managed to get shoessssssss and few stuff.Well,I don't really mind as long everything was sponsored.Anyhow,she bought lots for Papa which made me so jealoussssss.Everytime we went into the shop,she'll be like
"Ni cantik for Papa".

We went to oxford street on the 2nd day.Mostly we spent on cousins,aunties and uncles' stuff but what I hate most was Mama bought 6 perfumes for herself.Darn.6 in a row ok.She went mad.She offered me only 1 perfume but I rejected because I really want her to buy me my dream bag.Percubaan kedua,GAGAL.I only got few tops.Mama asked me to be patient because I just got new handbag less than a year.

Being the only child is not the reason to be spoiled.I prefer to ask Papa rather than her because Mama often reminds me,"PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE".So my job was to accompany her buying her stuff throughout our trip.Anyhow,I redha jer because I know Mama will fulfill my dream bag later->In my dream!

We had starbucks everyday and started to talk more and more when we decided to stop for a coffee.Mama has been my bestfriend throughout my 24 years of living.She has became my place to talk everything.The past few weeks I was demoralize.I couldnt stop crying.Mama has played big role as a mother,sister and friend to me.She comforts me all the way to make me stop cying.I can't imagine myself without her and papa to be honest.I have no one except them.

Besides that,we had few dicussion regarding my future.I seriously wanna go home because I can't stand on my feet alone here especially when Im down.Home where I belong and no other place like home.Mama wants me to stay and so Papa.My decision to go back for good wasn't really good idea.I hope she can consider it and pursuade papa to let me go back.Amin.

Anyhow,I have 12 hours before my graduation.I wish Papa is here with us and share the moment he has been waiting for.Poor thing.Today,Papa turned 54 years old alone without us around especially Mama.He is currently battling with exam on his birthday.Good Luck Papa sayangggggggg.Mama and Adik have faith on u.Pls do it for us:)

I shall sleep by now.I have booked makeover's appointment at 9am.Haha.Sooo Good night lovies.Ill update more tomorrow.Ttyl

♥

London

2009-11-08T18:33:00.003Z

Off to London with mumsy!

♥

You are the reason Im smiling now

2009-11-06T19:54:00.003Z

I love You Ma.

2009-11-02T12:52:00.002Z

"And when the Quran is recited,then listen to it and remain silent,that mercy may be shown to you"

The past few days,I was vulnerable.I cried the whole week thinking how hard my life turned out.I texted Papa and Mama.I know Mama will be here this friday but I seriously couldn't hold my feelings.Both of them sent me the same smses.

"Pray and recite quran to make you feel better"

So I did.I realised I have been so snobbish to Allah.I have forgotten Him for a while.I have neglected my responsibility as His humble servant.Tasha told me

"You jangan sombong sangat dgn Allah.

Then Aunt Angah texted me Doa for me to recite every morning.

My heart shattered."A Broken promise is a betrayal of trust".I couldn't believe im trapped and drowned again.And again,it left me with another bruised.

Things happened with a good reason.Allah has given me strong heart to go through all this and standing on my feet to get up from my big fall again.

We coloured our own life.Ya Allah,Please guide and lead me to a better future.Amin.

Unconditional Love

2009-10-30T12:53:00.003Z

I ♥ U Papa.May Allah always be with you and mama.I miss u dearly.

Love,

Adik

The Irony of Love Life

2009-10-29T20:40:00.004Z

Different human being has different kind of love story.As i was talking to Serene on the phone just now,she told me that "serious relationship is like investing yourself into something".You invest everything from the top to toe & your inner.Its not just trading your heart but everything in you.Your future life and family.It feels so much better feeling all these tingly feelings after you’ve fallen in love.

Love life effect your entire self.Some people changed to good things and some may not.It depends how healthy is the relationship.Relationship is built with trust and how you want to make it happen.Both are working towards good things to maintain the relationship.There’s no point being egoistic and cold-hearted, because you could’ve made such a nice memories and if you have to fight for your love,than fight for it.

You never know when you’re going to lose a person. And if you do lose your loved ones one day, at least you’re confident that they went knowing they’re loved, and you’re confident that you did everything you had to do when they were alive. Otherwise, the guilt will haunt you forever, and by then, there’s nothing you can do.

What I have learned from my past,its not easy to fall in love and get into relationship.The relationship I had before was the longest I ever had.We grew up from I-have-no-idea what is love to Yes-I-love-so-much.From adressing I- You to a proper one,from talking about silly things,we talked more on serious matter and the most was introducing to both families,extended to be precised.We shared lots of things and we have planned ahead for our future.

We were young when we were in love.Young love birds are so inmatured.Well thosedays.To be honest,to keep and maintain such a long term relationship is really tough.Its either u ended marrying the same person or you cease the relationship.After all,Allah has good plan for us.If Allah took our happiness in the relationship,He'll direct us to good things in future.I believed in Qada and Qadar.Allah is fair to hambanya.

However,the happiness I had for the years (quite long time) dissolved.One day I was happily in love and the next day I lost him.I didnt mean to blame him for everything but we both made a mistake in our life.It was the hardest part in my life to adapt everything.I didnt manage to adapt and i have gone through vulnerable things in my life.My memories couldnt be erased.

Life required you to adapt and face the real fact upon you.I learned alot from my past and yes,Love is investing your life.Once its broken,it will effect entirely.I have to get up from my big fall and walk as usual.Although its hard,this is life!Whenever you feel like life sucks, think again. Look around and you’ll see something that shines in your life.

Articles from Ustaz Ahmad Adnan

2009-10-28T10:35:00.003Z

Tiada kejayaan tanpa kerja dan usaha. Sejauh mana kerja dan usaha kita, sejauh itulah kejayaan yang bakal kita perolehi. Dalam satu kaedah para ulamak, disebutkan bahawa: “الجزاء من جنس العمل” (Balasan/ganjaran yang diperolehi bergantung kepada usaha/kerja yang setimpal dengannya).

Setiap sesuatu berlaku dengan ketentuan daripada Allah taala. Kenyang dan lapar adalah ketentuan Allah. Begitu juga sakit dan sihat, tenang dan resah, suka dan duka, berjaya dan gagal, susah dan senang, miskin dan kaya, hidup dan mati dan sebagainya; semuanya adalah ketentuan Allah taala. Semua ketentuan ini ada sebab-sebabnya masing-masing. Bersama Musabbabat diciptakan Asbab.

Allah taala mencipta ketentuan-ketentuannya tadi secara berpasangan dan kemudiannya ia memberi peluang kepada manusia untuk memilih/menentukan mana satu ketentuan yang ia suka atau kehendaki dengan berta’amul dengan sebab-sebab yang dicipta bersama-sama dengan semua ketentuan. Seseorang yang ingin menjadi kaya, ia hendaklah melakukan sebab-sebab yang boleh membawa kepada kekayaan. Begitu juga dengan ketentuan yang lainnya.

Manusia boleh mengelak daripada satu ketentuan kepada satu ketentuan yang lain; daripada ketentuan yang baik kepada ketentuan yang buruk atau sebaliknya. Begitu juga manusia boleh menolak satu ketentuan dengan satu ketentuan yang lain. Berkata Imam ibnu Qayyim al Jauzi: “Orang yang benar-benar faqeh (bijaksana) ialah orang yang menolak sesuatu qadar (ketentuan) dengan qadar yang lain, mengangkat satu qadar dengan qadar yang lain dan menentang satu qadar dengan satu qadar yang lain. Bahkan manusia tidak akan berupaya untuk hidup tanpa melakukan tindakan yang sebegini. Ini kerana lapar, dahaga, sejuk dan lain-lain lagi perkara yang ditakuti dan dibimbangi oleh manusia, semuanya adalah tergolong di dalam qadar dan semua makhluk berusaha untuk menolak qadar-qadar ini dengan beralih kepada qadar-qadar yang lain (yang mengembirakan)”.

Kita boleh mengelak daripada qadar (ketentuan) gagal dengan beralih kepada qadar berjaya.Untuk sampai kepada qadar berjaya kita hendaklah berta’amul dengan sebab-sebab kejayaan iaitu usaha dan amal. Seseorang muslim diajar supaya melakukan dua amal (kerja) untuk memastikan kejayaannya:-

1. Amal anggota (الجوارح) iaitu الأخذ بالاسباب (mengambil dan melakukan segala sebab-sebab yang membawa kepada kejayaaan).
2. Amal hati (القلب) iaitu bertawakal kepada Allah dan mengharapkan pertolongannya.

* * * * *

Kita menyedari apa yang sepatutnya dilakukan untuk kejayaan kita tetapi kita tidak melakukannya. Misalnya, ramai di kalangan kita menyedari kepentingan waktu dalam menentukan kejayaan tetapi tidak ramai yang mampu menjaganya. Begitu juga ramai yang tahu perlunya tanzim, tetapi tidak ramai yang mampu menjadikan kehidupannya bertanzim. Kadang-kadang kita merancang atau meletakkan planning untuk melakukannya tetapi kita tidak berupaya memaksa diri untuk mematuhinya. Kenapakah ianya berlaku? Dimanakah silapnya???

Disinilah peri pentingnya “Keupayaan Menguasai Diri”. Orang yang berupaya menguasai dirinya dialah yang akan menempa kejayaan.

Dalam menentukan kejayaan samada dunia maupun akhirat, aset yang paling utama ialah diri kita sendiri (aqal kita, anggota kita, nafsu kita dan lidah kita). Justeru itulah keupayaan menguasai diri menjadi terlalu amat penting. Berkata Syeikh Mohd Al-Ghazali: “Manusia apabila mampu memiliki dirinya dan menguasai waktunya maka ia akan berupaya untuk melakukan banyak perkara tanpa menunggu datangnya dorongan-dorongan dari luar untuk menolongnya mencapai apa yang dicita-citakan. Dengan kekuatan dan kebolehan yang ada padanya, disertakan pula peluang yang diberikan, ia akan mampu untuk membina kehidupannya yang baru”.

As- Syeikh Sya’rawi ketika ditanya tentang rahsia kejayaan, beliau berkata: “Rahsia kejayaan ialah seseorang itu menggunakan aqalnya untuk menentukan cita-citanya. Kemudiannya dengan menggunakan aqal juga ia menggariskan jalan -jalan yang boleh menyampaikannya kepada cita-cita tersebut. Seterusnya ia menjadikan seluruh anggotanya untuk berkhidmat dan bekerja bagi memenuhi cita-citanya dengan melalui jalan-jalan yang digariskan tadi”.

* * * *

Diriwayatkan di dalam satu hadis, pada suatu hari Nabi s.a.w. masuk ke dalam masjid baginda dan mendapati seorang sahabat yang dipanggil Abu Umamah r.a. duduk termenung dalam keadaan muram pada ketika sahabat-sahabat yang lainnya bertebaran di muka bumi dengan urusan masing-masing. Lalu Nabi bertanya beliau: “Wahai Abu Umamah! Apakah masalah kamu sehingga menyebabkan kamu masih berada di dalam masjid pada saat ini?”. Abu Umamah menjawab: “Aku dirundung duka dan dibebani hutang-piutang (menyebabkan kepalaku berserabut dan susah hati). Nabi berkata kepadanya: “Mahukah kamu kalau aku ajarkan kepadamu satu doa. Jika kamu membaca doa tersebut pada waktu pagi dan petang nescaya Allah akan menghilangkan segala masalah kamu? Abu Umamah menjawab; “Sudah tentu, ya Rasulullah”. Nabi pun mengajar beliau doa di bawah:

اللهم انى أعوذ بك من الهم واالحزن، وأعوذ بك من العجز والكسل، وأعوذ بك من الجبن والبخل ، وأعوذ بك من غلبة الدين وقهرالرجال

“Ya Allah! Aku berlindung denganMu dari dukacita dan sedih, aku berlindung denganMu dari sifat lemah dan malas, aku berlindung denganMu dari penakut dan kedekut dan aku berlindung denganMu dari konkongan hutang dan dan paksaan orang lain”.
Berkata Abu Umamah: “Aku melakukan seperti mana yang diajar oleh Nabi, maka Allah menghilangkan kedukaanku dan membebaskan aku dari segala hutangku”.

Di dalam doa di atas, Nabi s.a.w. mengajar kita untuk berlindung dengan Allah Ta’ala daripada perkara-perkara yang boleh menggagalkan kita di dalam kehidupan :

1. Perasaan dukacita dan sedih.
2. Rasa sempit dada, malas, pengecut/takut dan bakhil .
3. Tekanan-tekanan daripada luar seperti bebanan hutang, masalah keluarga dan sebagainya.

Manusia kalau hidupnya diselaputi kesedihan dan kedukaan atau merasa sempit dada (العجز) dan malas untuk berfikir dan bekerja (الكسل) atau takut untuk menghadapi realiti (الجبن) dan bakhil untuk mengorbankan apa yang dimiliki untuk mencapai cita-citanya (البخل) nescaya ia tidak akan mampu untuk menghadapi kehidupannya dengan kesungguhan dan keceriaan. Hidup terumbang -ambing dan ia tidak akan berupaya untuk mencipta suatu yang membanggakan di dalam kehidupannya iaitu kejayaan dan kegemilangan .

Begitu juga, sekiranya pemikirannya serabut disebabkan oleh tekanan -tekanan luaran seperti bebanan hutang, masalah keluarga, masalah peribadi dan sebagainya, ia tidak akan berupaya menghadapi sesuatu dengan penuh keyakinan.

Justeru itu semua faktor-faktor kegagalan ini hendaklah kita hindarkan daripada kehidupan kita. Disamping kita berdoa kepada Allah Ta’ala, kita juga hendaklah berusaha untuk membuang sifat-sifat negatif tadi serta menguatkan semangat dan ketahanan diri untuk berhadapan dengan segala masalah dan tekanan yang timbul dalam kehidupan kita.

* * * * *

Dalam saat-saat ini iaitu saat-saat dimana kita mengharapkan kejayaan samada di dalam imtihan atau dalam urusan yang lainnya, sengaja persoalan -persoalan di atas dipaparkan sebagai muhasabah untuk kita bersama agar ia dapat memberi semangat kepada orang yang telah atau sedang berusaha untuk terus berusaha mengejar cita-cita atau kepada mereka yang masih leka dan belum berusaha untuk mula mengorak langkah menuju cita-cita. Kalau kita tidak mula menabur benih, selama-lamanya kita tidak akan dapat menikmati hasilnya.

Kita kadang-kadang mengharapkan kejayaan sedangkan sebab-sebab kejayaan berada jauh daripada kita dan faktor-faktor kegagalan masih lagi melingkungi tubuh kita.Kesimpulannya, kejayaan akan tercipta dengan kita melakukan tiga perkara:

1-Melakukan semua sebab-sebab yang boleh membawa kepada kejayaan.
2-Mampu menguasai diri sendiri.
3-Menghindari serta membuang segala faktor yang membawa kegagalan.

والله المستعان وولي التوفيق

************************************************************

HaaaaChooooMmmmm:((

2009-10-27T10:35:00.005Z

:((

Too bad.I still had fever,cough and runny nose.Tired of blowing every min.Pale and my nose is so red.The weather is still freezing outside.Can I fast forward the time?Mama will be here next friday not this friday.I need her special care and i wish Papa is here too next friday.Sheeesshhh.This is the time I miss Papa and Mama's presence when im sick.

Back then,Papa took a good care of me when im sick.He worried too much than mom.He served me with panadol while mom will cooked me porridge.Basically both of them treated me like a princess.Well i received more special treat when im sick.I can demand anything.Even I'll ring my aunt to buy me nuggets only from Mcd when im sick.Everyone starts to worry when I had long extended fever.I usually admitted into hospital.Tragic isn't it?

Papa rang me this morn.He heard my "sengau"voice.He was in hurry because he had world conference today at Shangri-La today until end of this week.He asked me to get all sorts of medicine and makesure im all covered.I shall ring him back by tonite if im still in pain.Sigh.I miss him sgt-sgt.I miss papa sangattt.Words cannot express my feelings now.I really need my family.Everything is so dearest back home.

Nooooo,I need papa so much.I know he will comfort me and mama will always next to him.All i need is THEM.To this extend,can i request to go home?

This song really captured me this morn while checking my inbox.This song is about a guy who convinced a girl who he really loves .As cliche as it sounds, the only thing we can hold on to is trust and love.Frankly,I don't like to promise because i might break it.I believed relationship built with sincere heart.Good things last forever.

Demi Masa

2009-10-26T18:45:00.005Z

وَالْعَصْرِ(1)إِنَّ الْإِنْسَانَ لَفِي خُسْرٍ(2)إِلَّا الَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا وَعَمِلُوا الصَّالِحَاتِ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالْحَقِّ وَتَوَاصَوْ
3)بِالصَّبْرِ)

“Demi masa. Sesungguhnya manusia itu benar-benar berada dalam kerugian, kecuali orang-orang yang beriman dan mengerjakan amal saleh dan nasehat menasehati supaya mentaati kebenaran dan nasehat menasehati supaya menetapi kesabaran”. (al-‘Asr: 1-3)

......................................................................................................................

At times like this,I blamed myself for being really idiot.My broken heart should have been recovered by now.Unfortunately,Im stucked and refused to mend it.I have wasted my precious time by crying my heart out.He has put me through lots of burden.

Lesson learned.Im strong enough to deal with pain.Its bitter lesson but im sure Allah will never let me down all the time.Its the matter of time.Patience is a virtue.Allah has tested me in anyway.One door was closed and Allah has opened another door for me to walk through it.Yes,im stepping ahead.I mean,i took one step and leave my past behind.I keep on repeating to step forward but i did not but not this time!With the courage i had now,im fully recovered.

I'm thankful I've been given this much strength to get through things positively.Don't get me wrong.I havent met anyone at the mo.I just want to share the feelings of recovery.Things has been bitter for quite a long time and im done.Getting over it.Time is really priceless.I really need fresh air.Its the time to breath and live.

As scary as it may seem, it is interesting at the same time and to have to go through the rigorous years of mending broken heart,its the worst part in life.5 years of relationship taught me to be strong.Well,this is life.For now,im fully motivated.Im starting to appreciate my opportunity.Its part of growing.Enough of crying.Coffee sounds better now.

♥

Milano,Italia

2009-10-23T11:27:00.012+01:00

The trip with Elina was entirely awesome although we didn't travel with a style.Mostly we spent on sight seeing and few shopping.I mean we shopped necessarily.I tried to inject Elina to buy Gucci & LV but this girl is so down-to-earth.Oh girl,u should reward urself after received the award(1st in Ireland for paper p5,ACCA).

Anyhooowww,

We went up and down throughout the trip.The weather was chilly when we arrived and we took million of pictures at Duomo.Everything was perfect until around 4 pm.It was heavy rain and 2 of us had to use umbrella.Yes I'm upset but luckily we managed to stroll around Milan with the umbrella.Besides that,the transportation also very cheap.We bought 3 euros day tix where u can travel within 24 hours by their metro & bus!

The food was yummehhh!Its finger licking good and cheap but every restaurant we went to,charged us 2euros per person for service charge!Thats cruel isn't it?Instantly loved the pizza,pasta and gelatino(ice cream).Food sgtlah super fantastic.According to the travel guide,the coffee marv but hell no.Butler's coffee way way better ok!One thing i fancy most was,the cigarettes way to cheap.Dublin cost double ok:p

We managed to cover few places.The architecture also amazing.Basically Milan is not that big city but due to the weather,we couldnt finish everything.We didnt manage to visit the museums tho.Mostly we took pictures with monument.Later that night after had dinner,we went to our hostel but we wasn't lucky enough.The hostel was overbooked.They replaced us 3 *** Hotel which cost more.Luckily the management promised to pay the rest.So yeay!We were lucky to get double bed with own bathroom.

The trip as a whole was enjoyable.Elina and I managed to compromise everything.2 of us enjoyed the trip so much.Ultimately,its dangerous to travel in Italy kalu all girls because there were lots of pick pockets.Innitially we supposed to go with Amy but due to her masters work load,she cancelled.Well,i guess we will go again with her & tasha.Even better if we can shop those big labels.Dream on!

Im on medication now.Had fever since got back from Milan."Haaaa choooo MMMMMM".Excuse my grammatically error.I am really weak at the mo.More pictures in the facebook.

Toodles.

"Gracias"

at the airport before we left Milan.Choowww Milan!

Mayorca Hotel

Dinner at Pizzeria

Stop over to taste the desert infront of biggest castle

Cruzzio Castle if im not mistaken

Brunch at Mercurio Bar

Duomo,the main attraction of Milan

Next destination will be Venice,Pisa,Florence.Ok bye la kan!

2009-10-22T19:33:00.007+01:00

Milan was impressive.I'll update later.I had headache at the mo.The weather is killing me.Hopefully Im free from fever-ish or else I will ended hiding under the duvet for the rest of the week.Naaahh.Few important agendas have to be sorted during the weekend.Anyways,Milan sgt lawa:)

Ya Allah,grant my wish.Let me stay stronger.Bestow me with pink of health and strength.

and,

Please give me the courage to erase my past.I don't want to stuck innit forever.

Amin.

Erkkk..?

2009-10-19T11:12:00.004+01:00

Fedex sent me an invoice of VAT this morn.I was charged 23 euros for the package i received last september.WTH.Another hole in the bank.Off to Milan this wednesday.No way of buying things in Milan or else i have to declare myself broke.

OH NOooooooooo..

Belated celeb

2009-10-18T15:27:00.011+01:00

We decided to dine in at Salamanca for Els' belated birthday dinner.It has been 3 weeks since her birthday and we havent got time to celebrate her.So yesterday,Mary booked the place and bought yummy strawberry cheese cake for Els.Poor els.She was injured after playing karting few days back.Thank god tak patah ok!Fuuh.Had fab time gelak-gelak,makan-makan,teasing each other(likewise),cam whoring & surprised Els with the cake.Els was touched:) Im instantly loved the food and cake.Haish,habis la diet!

But i guess its worth.(I have to fast for a week then!)

Happy 16th again Alyani.Ok,+8=24.

Love,
Akma,Waed & Mary

later,

we had coffee and heading home.Sorry girls couldnt join the pok-pek session.

Anyways,I miss to hang out with the girlfriends back in Malaysia.I miss to have a dinner & catching up with them.We usually do it every weekend and it has been a year.A year okkkk?Imagine how tons of rindu im having now!Takkk suka.Umi is going back to Malaysia for summer hols.Jealous:(

Clearly,I miss home.I miss to have all my friends around and not to mention family:(.I havent decided whats my next plan.Papa has given another chance for me to pursue ACCA instead of masters.I thought of going home and start my career.I can't stand homesick.Had enough of being apart from loved ones.

Rindu:(

♥

Raya mode

2009-10-11T20:32:00.016+01:00

Officially ending my RAYA sakan yesterday.I was invited to Ivy Resident's biggest open house held at their place.It was combination of 10 houses appx.The cooking session started on friday where I was forced(kidding) to help them out.No,Bun nicely asked me to help them.I voluntarily came since I have nothing to do on friday night.Feels like kenduri kawin.There were almost 700 guests came.I stuffed with lotsa food.The food superb and I had fun eating every meal.So today i decided to fast.My tummy full with all the food.

and the fun will be incomplete without

Our ♥

Nevertheless,I am pleased to meet more people during the event.Atleast I get to know more people:)

Anyway,

My dearest bestie turns 24 on Monday.I love u kin!

Happy Birthday Puan Norashikin!

Facebook

2009-10-09T14:00:00.005+01:00

Shocked,Paranoid and I am Dead.My dad ultimately registered on facebook and he just added me today.I didn't bother to check friends request this morn and straight away checked my inbox.He sent me a msg-"Hi,U ddk LEP ke?"Im likeeeeeee whattttttttttttttt on earth he's doing!!Is that papa?Panic.I didn't know whether should i approve him in my list of friends.I don't mind to have cousins and uncle in my list because they know my usual things.

I feel insecure to have dad in my list where everything will reveal especially my unhealthy stuff.He knows i have blog where he seldomly reads.So I prefer to keep my private life secret.Oh well,not that i didn't tell them every single thing i did but there are things u won't tell ur own mum and dad don't u?

Needless to say,I approved his request.I better be proper and well behave in the facebook.Papa is a wonderful man in my life.I cannot ignore the request just because im scared he will figures out bad things i did.After all,im not that bad though!Ok,may be a little.No,really,Im fine to have dad in my list of friends except ;

I need to be more appropriate when scribbing status and comments or else my dad will ended asking me tons of questions(why,when,what).Despite all that,I have to enter proper adulthood.growing up.I probably need to improve how i communicate with friends.I shall abstain myself from using;

"tak larat please.."

"omgggggggg...."

Ok,atleast slowing down abit.Hehe;p

Presenting daddy who has facebook account.Please don't tag any pictures yg merepek.I will ended asnwering his questions;p

Toodles ♥

Visa

2009-10-05T23:07:00.006+01:00

Tragically I was stucked at Immigrations Office to re-new my visa since 6.45 am.I woke up around 5,took quick shower,rushed to the office and the que was exessive long.So I qued right behind with all the immigrants.I felt like bangla waiting(I didnt mean to insult).I realised how pity those immigrants back in Malaysia when they que to re-new their visa. Around 8.00 am I got my number which was 240.Gosh.The officer asked me to come back at 10 am.Then I went to Ivy to get some rest while waiting for my turn.Luckily Mary cooked me keropok lekor and Els tagged along soon after.At 3.30 pm sharp,everything sorted.

It has been tiring and hectic day.Alhamdulillah,my visa has been extended and now im legal Irish citizen..Haha.Lols.The visa was expired 5 days back.Thank god the college letter was issued earlier but the bank statement took a while.Macam-macam ok.Well,I can't wait to go for hols.Off to Milan on 21st then London again with Mum on 8th November.I haven't decided yet to do my masters or pursuing ACCA next february.still in consideration to choose either one.Papa wants me to do masters because he thinks I can lecture while Mama wants me to do my ACCA.Thats hard to decide though!

Despite all that,Bun and Els finally came back after 2 and half weeks of holidays.Balik raya la katakan!Bun has a new hair cut and Els put some colours.Both beraya sakan.Im so excited to get my kuih telinga keling and keropok from Els.Thanks girls.After done with visa application,I went back to Ivy to catch up with the girls.Long catching up.Boo.Everyone has been talking about wedding.Im stress now.

Off to bed.I really need to qada' my sleep.Sorry it wasn't too tragic to re-new the visa because its a must.exaggerating lebih!

Toodles
♥

Congrats

2009-10-03T21:21:00.004+01:00

It was freaking freezing on my way back from Anna's place for open house.I have been eating voraciously but I managed to control it since my baju kurung quite small.Hahaha;p

Yeay!another new blogger!My bestie,Aysha finally created her blog after ages!Boo.Incase u come across this yang,I miss u dearly sgt sgt.Thanks for putting up our pictures.Its an honoured to have such a wonderful friend like u.Ok,i kipas nie!

p/s:I loved ur baju kurung pls.

and,

My close-not-by blood-brother got married.Im glad he found his life partner.To Salihin and Shakey,Congratulation on ur wedding.Sorry i couldnt be there to celebrate both of you and miss the chance to eye-ing on cute guys!Cis;p

Fate has brought them together.Who would expect,Salihin and Shakey will ended together.They were only friends who occasionally meet during UMNO's meeting.After what both of them went through before,they fall for each other.Salihin told me,"There will be one day,one person at one time and become your one and only".

Salihin was my senior back in Uitm literally.We found out that we lived in the same housing area.Small world indeed.We often catching up at mamaks now and then.He is like my own brother who i always referred to while Shakey happened to be Ambee and Zeileen's friend.We were connected through UMNO.Now, 2 hearts join in one ceremony.The solemnization held at Shakey's place yesterday.Syukur,Alhamdulillah.

Pic taken from their E-day.

:)

Rock Kapak

2009-10-03T02:37:00.004+01:00

Im not rock kapak's fan honestly.I never karaoke back in Malaysia..I usually sit and enjoyed looking at friends melalak.Frankly.I listened to those rock kapak songs as I grew up with uncles who loved those back in their era (90s).

and today,

I have sung the song above at NMS for the very 1st time eventhough its not my favourite.Apparently the girl inside the video is my long lost friend zaza whom i know through yuyu 9 years ago.Seriously,I sang like mad.Btw,My favourite girls band back in 90s was Feminin.I even formed group consist of my primary school friends (Fairuz,Sabrina,Haikal,Shahida and I).We won 1st place during the talent time.Gosh.How time flies.

p/s:Rock Kapak not just for mat rempits ok!

Toodles.

and again?

2009-09-30T21:57:00.003+01:00

Im tired of just being me.I hurt myself again and for the past 2 years.I have gone through the same phase.I ended crying the whole nite and my eyes starts puffy again.I want to enter proper adulthood where I can handle pains.

Im begging u to leave me and let me move on.

Can't wait for November!

2009-09-29T22:56:00.003+01:00

Mama has booked her tic for my graduation but unfortunately Papa is not coming since he has conference during the week and exams the week before.Im quite frustrated because Papa wont be around.I asked Papa earlier,will he manage on his own while Mama is here.He said,"Oh,I just lend her to you for only 11 days then she has to go home!".Lol.In the other hand,Mama has to prepare 2 weeks of his clothes including the pyjamas and work clothes while she's away.Having perfectionist dad who wants his clothes including pyjamas to be ironed is really tough for mama.Since Mama had breast cancer and she is not capable to iron plus we don't hire maid at home,mama sends their clothes to laundry every 2 days.

Nevertheless,Im thankful for having Mama on my conferring day,InsyaAllah.Yes,we (Mama and I)didn't manage to pursuade Papa to leave his job,exams to join us this November.So our hopes to make hole in his pocket for shopping in Paris musnah!Papa loves me.He promised to come visiting me sometimes next year and offered me flight tix to go home.Heee.By the way,I guess London will be better place for me and mama to have our bonding session.I booked our tix.Atleast we can lingering around London and visit Aliaa.

I sound excited didnt I?Definitely!It has been 1 year and 2 weeks since I left.I can't wait to hug and kiss Mama.Of course,I wish Papa is able to come.I miss his perfumes smell.I miss to hug him.I miss to watch movie with him and ketuk him to buy me this and that.I miss three of us sitting infront of our small garden and have cup of coffee after Isya'.

To my dearest cousins who innitially wanted to come,jgn jealous Umi is coming.You guys pegi la sekolah ok?

Heee.

Toodles.

Hugs and Kisses

2009-09-28T12:08:00.006+01:00

Short conversation with Fiza Babe arnd 12 am (Dublin time) & 7am (Malaysian time).

Me:Hello,goshhhh,u still sleeping while u r getting engaged in few hours!

Fiza:Aaaa,I slept late yesterday..The event starts in the evening*Blur*

Me:Hahahah.U kenal tak sapa ni..Omg,can't believe it.Youuuuu are no longer single.

Fiza:I tau,I tau.Its u Akmaaaaaa..*Blur*

LMAO.

Me:What time Nor is coming?Alaaa so sad im not there to celebrate it.Yada Yada.(Asking her the make up,the dress and the guests and stuff)

Me:Ok babe,I have to go now.Congrats on ur engagement.Im pretty sure u are so excited and will definitely look fab!Im happy for u and Isk.Pls upload pictures ok!

Fiza:Thanks babe,I love youuuuuuu ok.Take care!

and yes

The engagement was beautifully done.It was held at Fiza's.I admired the costume she wore,the make up,dais,decoration and the atmosphere of kenduriiiiiiiiiiiiii where everyone will gather plus pok pek here & there.Everything was blend.

I felt sorry and guilty when i didn't manage to attend my good friend's big day.For instance Syikin(we were closed since 10).To Fiza babe,u looked fab.Undeniable!InsyaAllah,once im back,we'll lingering around and of course 3 of us will become bonzai again.Another wedding i will miss out are Che in & Shakey(held this weekend) and tadika friends(Nazmin & T.Amir).

What I’m trying to justify is that don’t take your friends for granted, because friendship needs to be cultivated and without effort, it will fade away. Even if you’re miles apart.Im grateful to have amazing and wonderful friends although we are miles away.Sincerity is the best policy to retain the friendship:)

Isk & Ijah @ fiza aka my bonzai gf!

The siblings

Presenting the bonzai who finally became Iskandar's Fiance'.Ok butterflies blakang tu i kenal!it was my gift years years back.Auuuww.

♥

2009-09-24T19:22:00.004+01:00

Catching up with the good old days high school's friend,Alric.

Random pics

2009-09-23T00:11:00.012+01:00

There's alot of pictures tagged and uploaded.Those are candid i picked from friend's album.

More pictures in Facebook.Ey,i am so obsess with myself now.Excuse ok!

2009-09-21T01:20:00.002+01:00

Stuffed with raya food.I'm bloated & tired,couldnt think what to blog.I'll post some of the pictures later.

Gonna start my puasa enam today:)

Cheers.

Selamat Hari Raya

2009-09-20T00:41:00.012+01:00

Omggggggggg...

Just fin cooking at Fairy's.We started the session around 2pm and ended at 12am.10 hours of cooking with girls and Nuar.Goshhh.Lembik giler ok!This year we had 7 main dishes consist of lontong,rendang ayam,rendang daging,soto,nasi dagang,gulai ikan,kuah kacang and not least kuih bakar.

Glad it turned our perfect!Can't wait to eat everything yg sgt tempting.Perhaps,I shall start to Puasa Enam on Monday.The main dishes contained santan yg super byk.Despite with all the food ,I am really excited to visit friend's place tomorrow after solat Aidilfitri at Malaysian Hall.

I had short conversation with Papa and Mama while they are on their back to Melaka.I managed not to cry because I was really exhausted and tak nak spoil their mood too.Besides that,my uncle & cousins are in Perak now celebrating the festive with Tok.We managed to speak for a while since everyone were in hurry to mosque.

As for me,although this is my 3rd year beraya without loved ones,I am still in the mood and cooked Nasi Dagang,Gulai ikan and Kuih bakar to spice up the festive.Thanks to those who sent me smses which im truly sorry i haven't got time to reply.

the girls who all the way kaypooh in the kitchen + Nuar(Serene's hubby)

Serene who helped me to cook the gulai and baked the kuih bakar which innitially i forgot to put the santan(HAHAHA;p).She cooked soto.

All time favourite babe.Poor fairy.She has class on raya:(

Nasi Dagang

Gulai Ikan

Acar timun & nenas

and ,

Kuih Bakar

...................................................

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri,Maaf zahir & batin.

To my precious,irreplaceable ayanda bonda,loving family and dearest friends.

♥
Akmaelinda yg jauh di perantauan.Uwaaaaa:(

Ramadhan Al Mubarak

2009-09-18T20:40:00.006+01:00

Here i am,blogging while eating my last berbuka at home because tomorrow i'll be at Fairy's house to have cooking session with the bunch.Ramadhan has finally come to an end.Rasa mcm baru jer berpuasa indeed it feels like baru jer bersahur.Alhamdulillah,it went well.I had my best Ramadhan this year.The best gift Allah has given to me:)

Not to mention,Allah has awarded me roomie who wakes me up every sahur and asked me to solat subuh right after bersahur.Thanks Tasha!Besides that,Allah has given me good friends who always called me up to berbuka together.Thanks Bun,Mary,Els,Fairy,Rina,Syira,Azza,Wawa,Acap & those i forgot to jot down the names,Thank you so much.

Despite fasting without loved ones,I have learnt alot through out the Ramadhan.I always moaning how hard and tough my life without my parents around,how I hate when I miss my friends so much,how I disgust restaurants over here because its not heaven as Malaysia and how I extremely dislike Dublin's wheather.

I learnt that Ramadhan is a learning process.There are lotsa of people living in hunger,poverty,love-less,lost their bestfriends,lost the family,divorced, as well as loss in everything.Those people are unfortunate but Allah has tested them.Everything happen with a good reason.It taught us to be wise and appreciate things we have now.

"Time in its aging course teaches all things"

Well,I'll update more tomorrow for my ucapan Hari Raya:)

Meal for today but im going to have big meal later!

and,

I decided to chop the fringe again.This time around much better because I went to saloon & asked the hairstylist alter abit here and there.Tasha and I had new hair cut ok purposely for Raya!Euuwww;p

:)

2009-09-17T23:41:00.004+01:00

"A loving heart is the truest wisdom..."

Mama oh Mama

2009-09-16T23:10:00.005+01:00

As i was talking to Mama regarding my upcoming graduation,she was whining about her denim.I was laughing while having the conversation.

Mama: "Adik,I think I need to buy new jeans before going to Dublin..."

Me:"Whaattttt?You have zillions of jeans la Ma.You don't need to buy new one.You might want to consider to shop new jeans here.."

Then she paused.

Mama:"I can't even fit any of my jeans.Even I took Papa's,still I don't fit his.All my levis are dump in my closet because it didn't fit me perfectly..

Me:"Maaaa,I thought its Ramadhan.You should have lost weight atleast 1kg..Kata makan roti jer everyday!"

Mama:"Entah la..I think I have expanded since puasa...I wear slacks everytime I go out and few of my jeans which stretchable.."

Papa who just came back from surau interrupted,

Papa:"Mama eats roti plus nasi dagang plus nasi kerabu everyday,thats why she put on weight since puasa.."

Hahahahahhaha:pp

She has made me laughed and teased her.Poor mama.Papa and I always asked her to register herself at gym because the gym is next to her workplace but she refused.Mama used to weight 36 kgs before she got married to papa.I even can't fit in her kebaya.Now she wears size 16 and can u imagine from a very petite woman,she turned to that size.I can't imagine myself in the same time.If now i am 56 kg(sgt chubby),later after 20 years,is it possible to reach 100kg.Omg.SCARYYYYnyer!

I love u Mama no matter what!

Love,

Adik:)

2009-09-16T15:23:00.001+01:00

Heart Pendant

2009-09-15T23:54:00.004+01:00

I broke my pendants twice and Mama had to replace it everytime I broke it.Can u imagine how could i smashed the fragile little thing?Urgh..,I came across Tiffany Heart Lock Pendant which is not too pricy but the idea of getting new one is to break the current flowery pendant i got last year.Im eye-ing on it because its cheap and I shall save if Mama refused to get me that.

*excessive pleasure*

p/s:Tido sambil berangan:p

Syukur

2009-09-14T23:46:00.002+01:00

Syukur,Alhamdulillah.
The best ramadhan gift I would never forget and with His blessing,everything has been running smoothly.Raya pun nak dekat:)

P/S:nak duit raya pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee:p

1st attempt :)

2009-09-12T02:41:00.010+01:00

Finally I managed to bake Kuih Bakar for the 1st time in my entire life.I have been mengidam since 1st Ramadhan.It was my 1st attempt.I didn't put sesame seed since the girls prefer plain kuih bakar.Thanks to Anabella for the recipe.Glad it turned out good although the shape was not that perfect:)

I'll improvised it later.Eyyyy know what,I was so excited to bake until i neglected the main dish consist of Nasi Lemak,Sotong goreng tepung,Ayam berempah,ikan bilis,telur rebus & sambal.Sorry guys.

Had iftar with Acap,Bun,Els,Zils,Bagak & Mary.They loved the kuih bakar:)
So we had good times makan-makan and cathing up.Later then,Els made Teh tarik and they stayed until sahur.Can't stop laughing and teasing each other.Acap,Els and Bun are going back for raya hols next week.

Anyway,Acap is getting engaged soon after raya with Mast(his long last gf).This mamat i have known back in Uitm sgt close and otak sgt giler pls.We were in the same class,same Hoo-Haa group,and we shared lotsa secrets.Haha.I only can gigit jari*pfft* looking at my group of friends one by one decided to end their single life.Padan muka I ok:p

and

Yeay!my fedex arrived yesterday.I shall sort it by now!Taa lovies!

Berbuka alone

2009-09-10T21:28:00.006+01:00

I had coffee with muffin and donut for berbuka today all alone!Soooo sad:(

Tweet.Not only muffin and donut,I had pizza too.I Stuffed with junk food.

Siap bole online while having the food.Today dah 10 malam terakhir Ramadhan.Semoga lebih diberkati.InsyaAllah.

♥

09/09/09

2009-09-09T22:48:00.007+01:00

Lucky number 9 but not to me!My landlord sent an sms saying he gotta remove my bed and replace it with single bed.Gosh.Sakiiiiit nye hati!For almost a year I tdo on the double bed all alone and now im going to sleep on single bed for the resttttttttttttt of years to come if im gonna stay in the same house.Hahaha;p.So good bye comfy bed,a place i golek-golek everyday and hello new single bed.P/S:susah la nak buat sleepover after this.

*Place where I snooze,talk on the phone,webcamming,facebooking and blogging*

"My pink lappie,cuddling fat hamster and pink flowery bantal busuk"

I have been searching the best skincare product since my skin became a bit dry.Fyi,i've been using Clean & Clear since 10 years old and Loreal too.Recently,I changed to Nivea but still,my skin doesnt show any diff.I tried Clinique before but it didnt work on my face.So today,i decided to go Biotherm counter and they did skin test.My skin is actually dehydrated due to unhealthy lifestyle and need more water.I bought the trial pack to see the result in few weeks.Hopefully ok la kan so I can stick to one facial product till the end.

and

Yeay!My fedex package has already posted.Mom rang me this morn and she said everything has been sent except the cream lace baju raya(which tak siap) as well as Johnson&Johnson lotion due to limited kgs.Gosh,I have been waiting for the lotion since August because i seriously rely on that!Lotion kat sini tak mosturize ok!Oh yea,i had buffet at Full House for berbuka just now.Im stuffed with lotsa food.Seriously full to the max.Shall sleep and wake for sahur.

Good nite lovies.
9/9/9 is so over rated!

Anak Solehah

2009-09-08T14:31:00.006+01:00

Anak-anak adalah simpanan berharga untuk di akhirat. Apabila tibanya saat kematian di mana segala pahala dari amalan kita terputus, merekalah yang dapat kita harapkan untuk menyambung pahala kita dan mendoakan kesejahteraan kita di alam kubur dan memohon keampunan Allah untuk kita. Sabda Rasulullah s.a.w.;

إذَا مَاتَ الإِنْسَانُ انْقَطَعَ عَنْهُ عَمَلُهُ إلاَّ مِنْ ثَلاَثَةٍ: إِلاَّ مِنْ صَدَقَةٍ جَارِيَةٍ، أَوْ عِلْمٍ يُنْتَفَعُ بِهِ، أَوْ وَلَدٍ صَالِحٍ يَدْعُو لَهُ

“Apabila matinya seorang manusia, terputuslah pahala amalannya kecuali dari tiga perkara iaitu:
Sedekah jariah
Ilmu yang diambil manfaat dengannya
Anak yang soleh yang mendoakan untuknya”.
(Riwayat Imam Muslim dari Abu Hurairah r.a.)

Apa makna anak soleh?

Anak yang soleh bukan sahaja anak yang bersopan-santun dan taat kepada ibu-bapa sebagaimana yang disangka oleh kebanyakan kita, tetapi yang lebih utama dari itu ialah anak yang menjaga agamanya. Anak yang soleh ialah anak yang ta’at kepada Allah, yang tahu kewajipannya sebagai hamba Allah dan tahu tanggungjawabnya kepada agamanya. Apabila seorang anak dididik dengan taat kepada Allah dan patuh kepada suruhan agama, Insya’Allah anak itu secara automatik akan taat kepada ibu-bapanya dan akan menjaga akhlaknya di mana-mana sahaja ia berada.

Dear God,

I ♥ Papa and Mama so much even I always disobey & break the rules.All bad things are purely my own flaws.Please protect both of them,forgive their sins and let them happy everyday in their life.Amin.

I miss u dearly Papa & Mama.Always.

Indomee

2009-09-08T00:33:00.005+01:00

Yuyu's parcel finally arrived.I thought i'll be receiving a packet (means there were 5 packet of indomee inside) but it was only 1 pack of indomee in the envelope.Hahaha.I mcm WTH she sent me only 1 packet where she paid for MYR 6 stamp.Then i realised how sweet she is because I keep on saying to her "I mengidam indomee laaaa".Ya Allah,Im such a bad friend.She has made an effort to send all the way.

Thank you yayangs.I really loved the effort.Tak sampai hati nak makan because Im touched.You such a sweetheart.Thanksssss again.I ♥ u sgt sgt.Sayang awak!Awak paling termuah la.The thoughts that counts ok yang and stop calling me geds because saya tak geds!
*hugs*

Presenting the indomee i mengidam sgt.I mengidam gel indomee at Bestari, hartamas.Sedapp woo!Anyways,mama said my baju raya tak de tailor nak amik even she asked salikin sidek and few tailors near by.Pity me!I wanted so much to wear the cream lace.Tak de rezeki:( May be next raya.Raya haji perhaps.

:)

Chilling at Chill Dara

2009-09-06T02:19:00.009+01:00

Due to everyone is going back for raya,we went for shop seeing on weekends before Bun and Els going back for 2 weeks raya holidays.Pfft*jealousy expression*

So we decided to tremble our broken wallets all the way to Kildare Village (chill dara).We took train since it was last min plan.It took us 45 mins in the train which cost 20 euros and bus to the outlet.

We arrived around 2 pm and waaalaaaa..The outcomes not too bad.Innitially we were sticking to each other from one shop to another shop.After an hour 4 of us splitted.I wasn't in the mood of shopping but it turned the other way round.Haha.

I bought top & accesories at Monsoon,Cath Kidson manicure set,shirt at Ted Baker and the black-mules shoes from LK Bennett.Atleast its worth of going there for 20 euros tic..Els bought herself super expensive hair roller dryer while Bun got herself tops(banyak ok) from RL & Monsoon and LK Bennett shoes.Guess who actually spent alot and spent 1 hour by starring at Anya Hindamarch bag?Its Mary!Gosh her new-Anya gorj pls.Ok bye la kan.I don't afford the bag.I only afford to touch it.

Btw, Mary and I were eye-ing on Bally white shoes which is too expensive for me especially.Hello,like-no-way to buy it.LK Bennett bole la.Way too cheap ok!

Happy Mary because she had Anya and Cik Peace Waed

Els usual pose and org penat berpuasa me!

Anyaaaaa in my dream but in Mary's closet.

and,

The result of Els'new hair roller.Pls say i looked old innit.I can't bear the straighten hair.

Toodles:)