Confusion-me-myself

"Your mind knows only some things.
Your inner voice, your instinct, knows everything.
If you listen to what you know instinctively,
it will always lead you down the right path."

Henry Winkler

Some of us are just riding life out, going with the flow and seeing where it takes us. No matter what way you choose to view or act on your life's path, you do have one. We all do. The question then becomes not whether we have a path, but whether or not we like our path. To be honest, I go back and forth on the issue. One day I feel like my life is going just as it should, that I'm treading nicely along a path that makes me happy and fills my life with positivity. The next day I can be unsure, uncertain about whether or not I'm living the best life I could be living. I'll find myself asking, "Are there things I could change? Are there things I want to change? What would my ideal life path be? Did I choose the right path? What if I screw along the way?" Some days I find myself wondering if I'm on the right path.

I'm coming to the realization that I'm always on the right path, no matter what's happening in my life. Whatever's happening is supposed to happen. Whatever path I'm heading down is the path I'm supposed to be on. Of course it's not always that easy to believe this (especially when things in your life are less than ideal), but, really, what sense does it make not to?My fear is all over when comes to a right decision to make for myself.

For someone who easily jumps to a critical conclusion, it's not all that easy for me to accept that, no matter what I do, I'm doing the right thing. How can I really know that? How can I know that I'm not, right now, making some horrible mistake? I guess, when it comes down to it, there's no way to know. I have to just sit back, do what I do, and accept that my life is unfolding as it should.

 There's no way that it could be unfolding any other way. What is happening is what's supposed to happen. If it weren't supposed to happen, it wouldn't be happening. Does that make sense? Yeah, it's hard for me to grasp sometimes, but, deep down, I believe there's a truth in that. Does knowing this truth make it easier for me to love and accept the path I'm on in life? Yes and no. Part of me really does realize that everything is happening as it should and I have to keep going on doing what I believe I should be doing. The other part of me rebels and demands that I seize control, make changes, and move my life down a path that is ideal for me (but, then, what really is ideal? how do I know it would be ideal?).


On the other hand,I am all excited for my year end trip.It took me a while to decide and book which involves some of my savings and to convince parents.Hoping it will be smooth sailing.It has been a while since I came back for good.Hint-a winter wonderland!

Relationship

Last September I found myself in a place of vague contentment. I was living a much happier life, making much more positive choices, and adjusting to the notion that I could, in fact, live in the present moment. I was on the road to getting better, living better, and it was then that I learned a lesson many who have come before me have experienced and written about time and time again: when you're not looking, when you're least expecting it, love will strike like a lightening bolt into your life, illuminating everything you value and casting darkness on all things you need not worry about.

For some, love comes in quietly, like a gentle summer rain, arriving slowly drop-by-drop. For others -- for me -- it came in with a booming presence, announcing itself loudly, violently. Like a crash of thunder in the middle of a deep sleep, it woke me and I was suddenly sitting upright in my bed, looking wide-eyed all around me, and thinking, "What was that?!"

I'm fortunate to have some pretty amazing love in my life and it's something I don't, for a second, take for granted. Not everyone is as lucky as I have been when it comes to love and I truly value the time and energy spent on developing a truly loving relationship. Alhamdulillah. 

Stars falling

I think that the stars would have waited for us
Hanging onto the night, watching down below
Until we were hand in hand, together waiting for them
So when I open my eyes, I saw it too
Stars falling down, when I fell for you

I love you, I love you
I love you, I love you, I do

I think that the clouds like the laughter around us
Wanting to feel the warmth, they're softly sinking down
Until they cover the streets just like a dreamland
And right above us, they part so that I see through
Stars falling down, and I fall for you

I love you, I love you

"Stars Falling Down"
Kina Grannis