Life changing..

As I’m writing this, it’s almost unbelievable that I harbored negative feelings about several issues for an entire decade or two. The amount of time that I completely wasted is almost unfathomable to me. And while I wouldn’t say that these negative feelings dominated my life, I am certain they held me back and kept me from realizing my full potential to be a good muslim.

Around the time I turned 28, I started to realize that the more things I let go that were bothering me, the happier I became.Things need to be changed and slowly I realized I became matured to deal with every issues in life. All my problems were solved by seeking help from God.I have learned that my battles only with myself because I want everything to be my way of solving.Because after all,it has been purposely written for me since I was born.

Since I was 18, my life has taken so many unexpected twists and turns. A lot of this is just because of who I am.What I did and do in my past.However, life still has a way of surprising us which can make long-term planning a bit difficult. And today things seem to be changing at a much faster pace than before.At some point,I just feel my life is too focusing on present " duniawi" and I don't focus on life after which is " akhirat".How long more I have to live and enjoy my time as a human before I die?

Most (and perhaps all) of the time, the process of accepting my past has involved either forgiving myself or forgiving others. I have had to forgive myself for feeling like I wasn’t good enough, poor decisions that I made, not standing up for what was right, etc. And although looking back in the grand scheme of things none of what happened would probably be considered a big deal by other people, it mattered a lot to me for many years so I had to come to terms with it.

little thing

Like a lot of people, I have a lot to be thankful for. I really do try to be grateful for everything I have in my life, but sometimes my selfish little ego takes over and I find myself complaining about things that, really, I'm lucky to have. Some things about life aren't perfect.I complain things which hurt another party.I did my way to express my frustration without realizing the consequences.This leaves me missing out on a lot of things in life that I probably would enjoy if I'd just allow myself to break free of my mental barriers.

I'm pretty much always in a hurry. I walk, talk, drive, do fast. I don't know exactly why it is, but I know it doesn't help me to live in the moment . I really need to work on just being. All of the rushing around doesn't make me happier and it only brings more stress into my life, and who needs more stress?

 Personally, I spend a lot of time waiting for the big things in life. I think in terms of the next big event -- a holiday or a birthday or a life-changing moment -- when, really, life is a lot more about the little things.

Now that I know MY ATTITUDE need to be sorted, I'm going to work on celebrating the little things in life because it's those things that really add up to make my life what it is. I am truly sorry for complaining and keep on pointing other's fault.

Perhaps I don't realize that some of the very best things in life take a lot of hard work and dedication. Some of the very best things in life requiring being brave and pushing ourselves beyond boundaries.

There aren't any shortcuts to tomorrow.

You have to make your own day.
To know where you're going is only part of it.
You need to know where you've been too.
And if you get lost, don't worry.
The people who love you will find you.

Salam Maal Hijrah

source

  Today, a gloomy, rain-filled day, I found myself mentally reviewing all the things I'd been doing wrong. All of my thoughts centered around the same of doubt -- "What would it take for me to be perfectly happy?

I wouldn't have stopped and thought that maybe there is a deeper meaning that. Maybe I need to think about how I act every single day and make those actions the kind that would leave the lasting impression that I would like to leave on the world, considering this very well could be my last day.

Today was a difficult day for me to focus on the positive. The weather alone was enough to send even the most upbeat person into a downward spiral of depressive thoughts. But I had the emergency room to remind me: life is precious. Life is uncertain. You never know what may happen and, even though it only happens once in your lifetime, this day could be your last day. These words are often said, but even more often ignored or passed off as cliched nonsense. I, myself, have been just the type of person that would say, "Sure, today could be my last, but it's probably not going to be so whatever." In the past, I would have heard those words -- "today could be your last" or "today could be the last day of someone you love" -- and I would have let them blow right by me.

I am starting to accept this more, this idea that life is short. Perhaps it is because I am getting older; perhaps it is because I'm getting wiser. For whatever reason, I feel like I can't seem to remind myself enough just how precious life is. There are so many things we all take for granted -- small things, big things, happy things, sad things. Like I said before, it's easy to forget the importance of everything. Every single moment matters and it is up to us make it count. When you are feeling angry or bitter or unhappy, think about a waiting room moment. Think about waiting for the outcome of results for someone you love. Think about who would be sitting there with you, holding your hand. Morbid as it might sound, moments like these really put life into perspective, and, difficult as it is to experience them, if we did it more often we might find that we have more perspective, more positivity, and more of a sense of presence in our lives. 

Put yourself in an imaginary waiting room and you will most certainly find you have a new perspective on whatever unpleasant situation you are in.Remember, every ending,there is a new beginning.There is another door to be treasured.

Salam Maal Hijrah