Seeking and searching

The more time spent with positive, uplifting people, the easier it is to stay positive and focus on the present. Positivity is contagious and the more it's around you, the more you start to see the good in the world, taking your mind away from dwelling on your heart break and reminding you of all that you still have to be thankful for.

Last Saturday, I had a chance to volunteer this one charity organization (NGO) to give out food to homeless people around KL. My first thought at that point of time, they are probably drug addicts and got kick out from home or probably not educated and end up at the street or perhaps they have no purpose in life by giving up their future at the street. I was wrong and come to think of it,they were not born at the street.

Something actually happened to them till they opt to stay outside especially the elderly.How did they end up stay at the street side by side with other elderly? How? Where are their family members? Did the kids aware the parents sleeping on the card board instead of nice comfy bed? Why are they staying outside with this kind of weather in Malaysia? why ?

As sad as it's been for me, I've been trying really, really hard to make good use the time I had when I distributed the food to those homeless.With little bit sad thinking how eager they were when we passed the food ( deep inside me, I know they are hungry), I realized my life is too perfect than theirs.

I have my family,friends and job for living. I have a car to drive here and there and also place to shelter. I switch air-conditioner when I feel warm in the room. I earn money and spend like there is no tomorrow. I have amazing parents who assist and give me allowance when I am dead broke. I eat outside almost everyday and sometimes I complain how yikes the food with the price I pay. I can do whatever I want.I can spend on what I desire.

But,

How about these people who is homeless and they have no money and place to shelter? 

A lot has changed since last Saturday.I have decided something big to my life.Something which impact myself for entire life. I am very sure with this path. Although the right path is sometimes the harder path, the path that makes me push myself and struggle and become better.

December to remember..

For me, and for many others, December is a very festive time of year. It's the time of year when  the air is filled with the promise and excitement of people coming together in celebration. If you celebrate a December holiday, you most likely want to have a memorable holiday season, and have every intention of making it the "best one ever." But, if you're anything like me, with the hustle and bustle of everything, too often I look back on the holidays and it all seems like a blur of red and green and sparkle and something vaguely resembling magic. 

Since I came back in 2010, I never had the chance to go for long leave during the end of the year.I will be in the office, rushing off my things to get it done.I end up staying at home during the eve.Pathetic isn't it? With the crowd and amount of people in KL, I rather spend at home.Except in 2011, I got stuck with bunch of traders and dealers celebrating new years eve at the hotel.

Amount of times but I cannot help myself from posting my twitter status how excited I am  to finally taking a long leave until next year. Really long break before entering a new year with new resolutions intact. Hahaha ;p.

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A week to go..Traveling alone must be adventurous during the winter.The most important thing is to have good time with great people there,insyaAllah.Shopping is not the main thing as for now since financially not stable to shop around. I just want to go back to experience the little things which I missed most.

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Hello London 

11.12.13

You should always spend time doing what makes you happy. Last night, I spent a great deal of time doing something I did not want to do, something that made me ultimately unhappy, and when I woke this morning and thought back on the tears last night, I was reminded of a point that I always try to aspire to: do what makes you happy..

 Of course, there are situations in which we must attend unpleasant events or participate in less-than-thrilling conversations, but there so many times when we end up committing ourselves to do something we don't want to do, something we could have easily gotten out of. When this happens to me (as it did last night), I feel anger and resentment not only to the other person/people and situation, but to myself. Afterward, I ask myself, Why didn't I spend my own time with wonderful thing? Why did I waste time doing something that didn't bring happiness to my life?

 I often rationalize that I somehow got suckered into it or I couldn't get out of it.

After waking and feeling resentment, I came across Yasmin Mogahed's articles on "REMOVING THE INTRUDER : ON TREATING LOVE ADDICTIONS"

" Every created thing yearns to fulfill its’ purpose. The eyes yearn to see. The ears yearn to hear. The stomach yearns to eat. The heart yearns to love. And inside every one of us is a created thing. It is a gigantic mass. It is a mass of affection, loyalty, and devotion. And it was created with a purpose. It was created to be given. But it was made to be given in a very specific way, to a very specific place. What we chose to do—or not do—with this heavy mass, determines our state in this life and the next.

The drive to give ourselves to something compels us, and acts as a very powerful force. There is a sort of desperation to love, to share, to connect. It is a desperation to contribute, to invest, to affect. The drive is so strong; but we often don’t even understand it. We often can’t comprehend the nature of this inner mass, and we don’t know what to do with it.

So, some of us hold on to it. To try to hold on to what was made to be given, is like holding a ticking bomb inside our chest. It finally explodes within us, creating a black hole of emptiness. This is how we implode".

Allah tells us in the Quran:

“Had there been within the heavens and earth gods besides God, they both would have been ruined. So exalted is Allah , Lord of the Throne, above what they describe.” (21:22)

In this verse, God tells us what would have happened had there been more than one object of worship in the heavens and the earth: corruption and ruin. If the heavens and the earth, in all their majesty, would have been ruined by taking more than one object of worship, what of the fragile human heart?

What happens to a heart that takes more than one object of ultimate love, fear, hope, and devotion? What happens to the one who gives this inner mass to other than its’ Creator? What happens to the one who allows other than Allah to be soaked into the deepest recesses of the heart?

Cliche as it sounds, life is short. We only have a limited amount of time here in this life and we should make the most of it. We should spend whatever free time we have doing what makes us happy.Our lives are short and we should all be living them the way we would like to.

Friday

I wanted it to be okay to be perpetually in the middle, always growing and learning. I wanted to share myself openly—successes and struggles. And I wanted to learn from other people who were open to doing the same.Last Friday, I was lucky to be at the talk I have been wanting to go. The place where everyone gather every Friday to just only sit and listen to Habib Ali. Apparently, on that day itself, I was told Habib Umar from Yamen is going to be there.

When I first reached there, the crowds was MasyaAllah. It was a wonderful experience I have experienced besides been in Masjidil Haram and Madinah last year.

To some degree, I think we all do want something good to be instilled.One thing that makes life so complex is that most of us spend a lot of time searching for something—those things that will make us feel happy, proud, and meaningful.I found the additional pill to make me happy for now.Alhamdulillah.