Be the man!

After a long time of waiting, hoping, and wishing, I finally stopped dreaming of someday and began to take control of what was cause negativity in my life. It took a long time for me to get up the courage and strength to do what I knew needed to be done, but here is the tale of my attempt to be my own hero...

There are many ways one can save his or herself, but lately I've seen a lot of heroism when it comes to myself. It's a tough job world out there, and it can be very tempting to sit back and complain, to soak in the negativity (because, hey, it's not too hard to find in an economy like this one) and just settle for whatever comes along. 

I've been thinking a lot about what it means to be your own hero. Many people spend such a great deal of time waiting around for someone to save them. There are quite a few poor souls, feeling stranded and alone, waiting for fate to swoop in and save the day.It would be wonderful if we could all just sit around and someday be saved from whatever it is that is making us unhappy, but that's not the way life works. You are a hero to yourself. Be the one who save your life for being unhappy single woman.

Some people might have the perception that I am a dominant person. The way I speak  and the way I picture myself as an independent woman. Hahaha. In fact, not long ago, a guy friend of mine told me this, " i think everyone has the thought that you are a dominant because you always want to be an independent but you can't be a hero, you are still a woman who needs someone to rely on"... and we laughed at it.

Come to think back, as much as I would find that to be a dream come true, I got to a point when I finally realized: no one is going to save me. I had to take control of this myself. All my life, I have been the only "manja" girl in the family and always depending on my dad and friends/ ex-es to sort out for me. Its time for  a change.I have to take matters into my own hands.

There are days when I would come home from work, exhausted and drained, and it took every once of strength to drive home when my brain sent me the sign " I AM TIRED, CAN YOU GET ANYONE TO SEND YOU HOME". Hahaha ;p. Inside me I found something that resembled bravery and I keep moving forward until one day I told myself, " YOU ARE A HERO akma, let's do this! Don't wait for the magic moment when someone can save you and make your life happy. 

It's been quite a road to get from where I was to where I am now, but I hope that by sharing my experience and negative perception on how independent single career woman potray themselves will  inspire others to realise this bravery and accomplishment when you ever feel down again: it's a powerful reminder of all you are capable of which is to be a HERO to yourself and be HAPPY.

Have a good weekend love xx

There aren't any shortcuts to tomorrow

I've had a lot going on the past few weeks. Juggling with life, exam preparations, yada yada. So many things in my head right now. At this point of time, I'm working toward that goal and, lucky for me, I'm not alone. I have so many wonderful, supportive people in my life and people around me helped me lots to juggle with my exam preparations. Last minute, i managed to drag a friend of mine to sort my panic attack on fx paper and derivative. Anyway, after 3 weeks of struggling (well, honestly it reminds back then in Dublin), I am done with the exams and waiting for the result for another 2 months. InshaAllah, I can only pray for the best.

So what's new? Nothing is new about me. Plain old me.As often as I write about and spend time exploring the concept of happiness, you might be surprised to know I'm scared to explore and find perfect shoes to fit in again. When I come across those moments when I'm feeling so deliriously happy that I can't stand it (the excitement moment), I feel a slight sense of panic, thinking to myself, "Watch out! That happiness is going to leave you and then where will you be?" Having lived so long in a state of unhappiness, I actually have begun to mistrust the happy times, as if they are some deadbeat who will come and leave at whenever it's convenient. 

Teaching myself to believe that happiness is a choice has been one of the greatest things I’ve ever done for myself. Now when I find myself in a bad situation, I know that it’s up to me to find the good, to be happy regardless of what’s happening around me.I’ve had to do a lot to get to where I am right now( where thinking about to settle down as soon as possible), and I still believe I have a long way to go. I’m not searching for any particular end point( well you know getting married is not end of your unhappy life), however. All I want is to be happy, to live a life that focuses more on the good than the bad. On this road, this twisting, turning road to happiness, there have been many ups and downs. There have been challenges. There have been inspirations. There have been many amazing experiences that I never would have had if I had not made this first choice which is the choice to live a positive life. Here's some picture earlier today with the mommies club. Catching up after a while.

Negative to Positive

Where I live it's been unfortunately gloomy lately. Dealing with the cloud-filled skies and dipping into hot weather during the day then comes the heavy rain after.While pondering this, I realized that the reason they get me down is because it is on these days because i think too much. Deep thoughts every single day.I feel hopeless, lost, and unhappy. There was one of the days, i forgot to lock my house, left office and got a call from my parents that I didn't lock everything before leaving. The first question mum asked, " do you have a problem?" 

silent.

So I began looking through the daily routine. What I do everyday from Monday- Sunday besides working. Do I have an issue with work. Obviously No. Do I stress with my exam preparation coming up, the answer Not really. Do I have an issues with my surroundings. Nope. So what in the world is happening with myself? How could I forget things which i do everyday. So i figure out something to overcome my hopeless and lost feeling. A tune to positive thinking. being hopeful and believing that, even when things aren't going well, they will get better. 

How To Turn Negatives Into Positives

 Avoid ultimatums

Think through obstacles

Speak positively

Reach out to those who think positively

Focus on what you are good at

Force or encourage yourself to smile and/or laugh

Engage in activities that decrease stress

Journal positive thoughts

Do some shopping!! 

As anyone who has been in a situation where they are positive and others are negative knows, it can be very hard not to be dragged down into the pool of negativity. But, with the tips I've listed here, you should be able to tackle negative situations and people with a solid set of tools that will help you cope. Good luck!