Friendship

Having truly great friends affects your joy more than having a few dozen sort-of-close friends. A solid relationship with your nearest and dearest can improve your happiness by up to 10 percent, according to research in the Journal of Happiness Studies. "Women friends tend to talk about their thoughts and feelings," said the study. "That promotes a special kind of intimacy and gives us a unique sense of support and belonging."

Hardship

Often times people think that having a positive attitude during a difficult time is a sign that you don't care enough or you're being idealistic.The truth is God is testing you to make you stronger.He wants you to be positive and let Him solve because everything happen for a reason.He won't test you beyond what you can handle.

Honestly, I'm grateful. I'm really grateful for the positive outlook I'm sitting here with. Like a close friend, it's comforting and reassuring and it makes me realize, for the first time, that I have made major changes in my life and that all of the work I've done to create a more positive mindset really is paying off.

 As I got older, dealing with heart breaks for numerous of times made me realized that there is only one relationship that should define our self-worth and only source from which to seek ultimate happiness,fulfillment and security,which is relationship with God.

When faced with difficult emotions especially those associated with something beyond your control, positivity and believe Allah is there to assist you is the best way to keep going.Seek help through patience and prayers.

Surah Al Baqarah-144;

“And seek help in patience and prayer…” [al-Baqarah; 45]

Things may seem to be tougher than necessary, for longer than necessary, in places where we don’t want them to be. But know, nothing is without reason and nothing is without cause. God sent us examples in His creation to constantly give us motivational boosts to get us throughout our days. Stay POSITIVE and put trust in HIM.Remember,patient will be rewarded later.Its just the matter of time.InsyaAllah.

Back to basic

Even though this week couldn't have been more miserable, weather wise, it was so great. It started with my hair.I finally decided to go black instead.Embarking new life now onwards.Will keep you guys posted. 

To share

Wondering

Watchin' the time go, the second hand is movin' too fast
Whoever thought that it ever really would last
And if your conscience weighs a little heavy tonight
Maybe you'll find it, maybe you'll find...
Nobody told you that nothing plays out like it seems
Twenty years now, runnin' scared of all your dreams
Is it everything you thought it would be?

Life is filled with light and dark, perfectly lit paths and dark, winding roads. We're all aware of the good and the bad, but we don't always remember that we can make the most of the darkness and, in fact, we can make even the darkest times brighter.I do believe that happiness is a choice. When you're battling a broken heart, choosing happiness is far from easy, but it is still possible.

Over the rainbow

For the first time in my life I understood the meaning of the word " reality".And it's really awful. You say the word a hundred times a day but you don't really know what you're saying until you're faced with a reality.One of toughest thing in life is to cope with all the routines in my life and back to normal.Maybe that's life is all about.To stay strong and move on.I am trying to figure out how that could it be but thinking I am not alone in this matter,I decided to leave everything to God.He knows how much it hurts.I've learned that no matter how badly your heart is broken,the world doesn't stop for your grief.I began to think about my dreams,desires and wishes.Where am I going with this?It has got to be heading somewhere.

moving on

Last week I really found myself looking at the worst in everything. Once I started looking for the bad, it was like a downward spiral. I started seeing the bad things everywhere. Don't make the same mistake I did. While it's going to be pretty much impossible to completely ignore the things that are bothering you (and that's also not very healthy to do), it's important that you don't go around seeking the bad things. It's so easy to find the negative things about a situation when you look for them, so don't. 

I have spent a great deal of time over the last week venting and discussing and overanalyzing and feeling downright stuck in the spot I am in now. I've been more unhappy over the past week than I've been in a long time. But you know why that is? Because I was putting all of my thoughts and effort into one area of my life which is relationship.I always remind myself,go with the flow but I screwed it.

To be perfectly honest, this fear is starting to get on my nerves. I see other people jump in fearlessly, un-fazed by the chill and popping up from under the water refreshed and relaxed. Why can't I do that? Why I can't I just jump in, untethered by my fear of losing a happiness that, before now, I didn't even know I would be scared to lose? I know I'm not the only one up to my ankles in happiness water, scared to submerge my full self, but sometimes I feel very, very frustrated by the way that I hold myself back. And that frustration has built up to the point where I've had enough of it. I'm done holding back. I'm done standing on the edge, scared to jump in. This time I'm not going to be scared of the happiness. I'm going to jump right in and let it soak me to the core.

Every so often everyone at my office receives a call from head hunter to fill up the market out there.Especially when you're a corporate banker,your opportunities out there is very wide.Being a corporate banker after 3 years,I have my targets and ambition to grow in the industry when you know you're marketable.Its the time to hop to another bank and find new exciting things to learn.Working in a small bank where everything is under one roof,I have learned a lot even some of the things I have to do is beyond my job description.Just recent when I got a call from Robert Walters for the position as senior RM in another bank,i get lil bit excited.I went for the casual talk with the consultant and tell her what is my expectations with the new bank.I would love to explore new environment and I'm aware adapting with then new environment will takes some time to adapt.

I love my current surroundings,work life although I got caught up with zillions of work to do and deal with.Bosses are so helpful and supportive.To be honest,i am very comfortable working in a small bank where i get to manage big portfolios and handling complicated + tedious accounts especially property development sector.Never in my imagination that one day,I get the compliments from big bosses and corporate clients.Its my satisfaction.But then again,come to think " I HAVE TO GET OUT FROM MY COMFORT ZONE",I have to move on.

the person’s smile is like the sunrise to your happiness

When you awake every morning to either his voice waking you up for subuh prayer or his voice telling you to make sure your car is ok before leaving to office is everything you want to hear.You just feel an endless supply of love, like nothing, not a single thing can bring you down.I am lucky girl to have him as my dad,my lifetime man although sometimes I find him very annoying when he starts to tease me or jump over small things.He's still the coolest dad I've ever wish for.Call me spoil brat,but being the only child in the family,I have had all the love and advantage to ask from him whatever I want.Well,not all I wish for he will grants it but most of the thing,he never say no.The kind of love that feels like you're the only princess in his world.A man who will put his only daughter as his priority no matter what.Thank you papa :)

About 8 years ago when Papa had complication and gone through major surgery,I thought I will lose him.Deep inside me,I don't want to grow up without him and go through my teenage days without him around.For millionth time I prayed to God that he will be alright after the major surgery.I can't afford to see him for almost 10 days in ICU and the rest in NICU.I was 19 that time when he and mama gone through all these.I remember doctor telling us that the tube only last for 10 years.

Life is a mysterious,fragile thing and its so hard to know why some things happen when they do.The other day when I was in the car with mum,she told me dad only has 2 years to go based on the estimation.I completely lost thinking how time flies.How time really pressured me.To make it through this in once piece,I cannot change and accept the fact dad only left 2 years to live.

Much as I would like to turn back time and make everything is smooth,much as i would love to find a way to stop him from getting sicker,these are things I cannot do.I cannot change what is,no matter how much I might like to.I love papa all my life.Can't imagine my days without him.But what my main concern,he told mum that he wish to see me settling down and have kids this year atleast.I am incredibly sad thinking what he wish for.It seems impossible when myself is still lost in finding what is meaning of love and relationship.My heart breaks waking up to know I can't fulfill his wish.

To those of you who haven't been through this,it might seem as if I am being dramatic.After all,one could argue that its your dad's last wish for.He saw me growing up from a kid to teenage then now became an adult.Some people are just blessed with love ( relationship),with a perfect guy,with flowers growing from their fingertips,and warmth dancing around them.But some people are cursed with love, with swollen eyes, and heavy hearts, and thorns breaking through their skin. 

Wondering, in a constant battle with myself, if this is my entire fault, if this is what I deserve? It’s like heaven and hell in comparison. That’s how I imagine it anyway.God knows how much i love papa.How much i would want to make him happy.If only I can trade myself,I would.Mum always said,put trust in Allah and leave everything to him.Seek His help and He will show you the way.Accepting the current situation is incredibly difficult and I am not quite sure I will ever fully make him happy.