Sunday, 9 November 2014

Life as it is..

I could spend my days wallowing in regret, wishing I could go back and change some of the mistakes I'd made while driving. I remember the past in bits and pieces, as most of us probably do. It's never a clear cut, exact memory. I remember what I want to and I know this. But I have a hard time, especially these days, understanding that life I used to live. It has been 11 months since I changed my appearance. A tremendous change to be a better person from a mini skirts kinda girl to a girl with a hijab. Although its hard at the beginning stage especially to fit into a scarf while playing futsal, to match with my everyday attire and to exercise as a real muslimah (which still force myself to stop especially on my old habit), I found myself accepting who I am now. A 29-year-old girl who still juggling with her career and enjoying her single life activities (even the pressure still on). 

Over the past few weeks, I have been occupied with things I enjoy most and started to like my new job day by day. I am so grateful for the opportunity given on plate although the experience of reading economy in front of everybody scared to death. I shivered during my first talk and to be honest, I feel like throwing out because Im just scared people will ask me beyond my facts. Pheww.Facing my fear wasn't easy by any means but being brave was incredibly rewarding. The best lesson I learned by far was how amazing it felt to actually do something I was afraid of doing. Even though my palms were still sweating and my heart was still pounding after that talk.

Anyway, couple of days ago, I experienced strange thing ever happen in my entire life. I almost collapsed at the toilet after had a horrible food poisoning at 3 am in the morning. I was dehydrated and dad had to rush me to hospital. MasyaAllah. I was scared thinking of death. What if I can't live any longer? It keep me thinking until now.A little reminder to myself that life is too short and be prepared..