Sunday, 30 September 2012

Believe that when something is meant to be..,

At the right time,right moment is always the best reason it will happen.

Love is a feeling not a decision 

I remember sometime last year,Zaza and I had this talk on relationship.We were broken hearted when we first became close.Too many things happening and we were struggling to make this right.We cried,we told each other to stay strong and stick to our principle " never give up".She is one of my best girl friend who knows every single detail of me although we were acquainted in the Bank.Just recent,she was proposed by her investment boyfie after almost 6 months together.I was so excited and happy for her.Syukur Alhamdulillah. She never knew that the " chilling session" with investment people" ended in such way.

But miracle REALLY happen.the next thing you know,a stranger is literally a person you will grow older...,

So often in life we are looking for rush for the next activities to fill us with excitement.But I have learned that when it comes to love,we are lost in our own world.There is no forcing it and showing off to the whole world that your relationship/married life is happy.There is no battle to make up things to do.Whatever you do,there are you,having a great time.It is a sure sign of love.Pure Love.

Zaza & Afzan

We're all just lovers and takers
Breaking hearts to make the papers
She wants love; I told her stop trying
'Cause the reasons for your tears aren't worth crying

'Cause this life is a beautiful one
And though I've seen it comin' undone
I know most definitely it works out
the way it's meant to be
So, baby, keep your head up
Keep it on the up and up
'Cause you got all my
love love love

The world is filled with great people.You have wait for 26 years to fill in your heart to meet Afzan. Congrats again my dear love Zaza.WE LOVE YOU.

September Ends

This weekend was definitely a much-needed break from the usual work routine.This month end fever almost gone although I had awful-tears on Friday.So I decided, I definitely have to take advantage of the generously hot weather to catch up with best buddy,visiting new baby born,saturday night window shopping with Mr Stranger ,chilling out with Mum and doing spa . Hoping October will be great ahead for me.

I know I say it nearly every week but I swear every day just goes by faster and faster.And before i know it,its already Friday night and into Sunday morning.I suppose it means I am enjoying myself.

I can't way for my ugly sister coming back tomorrow with my goodies.

Sunday, 23 September 2012

One year

Like it or not, we're all flawed. Not a single one of us is perfect. And that's one of the great things about life. We all have so many wonderful things to offer and, yet, we're not always so wonderful.Sometimes I like to just run away from the hustle and bustle of life and drive out to this wide open field a few miles outside of town. Particularly yesterday.

It has been a year since I really decided and move on without any fear.Then I started to blog again and share what's happening with life regularly.I determined to be HAPPY and accept life as it is.I keep on going and going forward without going backward.There is always a time when the memories we treasured back then pop and it feel like yesterday we decided to end the longest relationship we hold onto.

 It was just one of those days when life caught up to me a bit too quickly and things started piling on top of one another in this overwhelmingly exhausting way that my head just couldn't quite wrap around and digest.Life starts all over again when it jeopardized and to be honest,getting over for good was the toughest phase.

And this open field gave me exactly what I needed. Peace, quiet, and complete stillness.  I don't run away from "life" too terribly often, but this little haven draws me in from time to time. I am so thankful everyday in my life. You saved me once again ya Allah.

Life is better with company.You just need a companion to keep you alive.I have broken so many hearts so far to get over someone for long time.Just recent,when I entered new relationship,I found it a bit differ than before because he was one of the genuine guy I have met so far.But then again,though it may seem like a lot of the points made here are obvious one,I still feel myself is single.

I have found in relationship with others is the fact we are often looking to make the partner happy although its not our responsibility to make others happy.I have to make myself happy.
It has made me realize just how important it is to be responsible for my own happiness.Relationship is just a title but the heart tells and determine my true relationship is.

"Don't put the key to your happiness in someone else's pocket"

The only thing that stands between you and what you want out of life is the will to try and faith to believe it's possible.

 And the amazing friends to cheer you up with loads of love and laughter.Welcome to the world Baby Juvieria Omeira. Additional girl to top up my happiness and strengthen the friendship till the end. 

with love,

Aunt Akma 

Monday, 17 September 2012

Happy Project

I love the kind of days where you wake up and just know that it's going to be a great day. Days when you find yourself feeling blessed just by thinking about those who make you feel so accepted and so loved. Days when you order a tall Starbucks drink and end up getting a grande instead, no extra charge. Days when you wake up for Subuh prayer follows by reciting Yassin without rushing to put on work clothes to WORK.Days when you have a small note 'have a nice day'. Days when you can reflect on your life and know that you're happy to be where you are... to be who you are. Days when you finally start to dismiss all of your little troubles that have been troubling you lately and instead, envelop yourself in the simple joys and luxuries of life. Days when you're just thankful to be alive.Days when all your tears dropped yesterday gone by the time you wake up.

I'm trying something completely new. Something that is on the opposite side of the spectrum of who I am.My Happy Project has started early this year when I decided to start my scrap book project again.Then,I was pretty much amazed with DIY home made projects.I am all excited and bliss to do all the craft projects to occupy my time.Just recently,after ages of not going to Ikea,I bought plenty of stuff to add on my project.The fabric I bought was actually for my duvet cover but end up I decided to do bed skirting instead.Confession: As much as I've been craving for more colourful stuff, I just can't seem to let go pink in any of my ideas.

I've always been a huge fan of the bottles especially recycled bottles which I came with an idea to put beads and ribbon.In fact,during Yana's Baby shower,I made one for her.With strong eco-friendly by using wasted bottles,the idea of using back the bottles as deco is much easier and cheaper.It will be more nicer to put flowers

 As of late, I've come up with my ideal gift for my future home.I started to collect cups especially floral design.Most of my collection I bought when I was in Dublin and has been daily used by housemates.I am so delighted to see the fragile things I brought back safely arrived.This is a hypothetical my dream cups for my hypothetically future kitchen and I can't wait to organize evening tea with my ladies (A hint for my future present perhaps).

What's incredible to me is the fact that this just the beginning of a list that could go on for days.

Life is filled with so much beauty and can't wait to share more.Dream big!

Sunday, 16 September 2012

Perfect Home

I think this probably been the fastest week of my career and one of the most intense weeks of my life. Right now, I should have been half way through my review accounts,get new business and catching up to meet Bank's budget for 3rd quarter of the year. But as it turns out, I'm only half way through where some of my portfolios are going to have big repayment. It's kind of mind-blowing to me.Bosses are pressuring and chasing.I am all out till this end of this year and patiently waiting to be analyzed and screwed during the KPI.And still hoping the bonus will be as much as this year.

Life has been a little intense especially my job as an RM.For probably over the last year,I have become a thousand time more focus on work,gather more knowledge,find opportunities,millions of times more anxious and nervous getting emails & calls from bosses.Sometimes,I haven't be able to sleep thinking on my workload and had constant headaches.I would worry about everything and my mind constantly on.It was exhausting.

I don't want to sound like a serial broken record but it couldn't have been more perfect.The main thing I would worry about is the fear of unknown particularly the thought of turning one year older next year.I would convince myself of the tiniest little things,like the fact that my work is still progressing and moving forward but I haven't had time to think what will my future look like especially in finding perfect home.

It sounds ridiculous,and its hard for me to write because,it is really ridiculous talking about finding perfect home to live in and have kids when the piling and sub structure have not started yet.Even worse,I haven't met the perfect person who can hold my hand to Jannah.But I was pretty much convincing myself that the day will come and I won't be having daily nags from dad on this matter which is " JODOH ".

Dad always says , " we fall easily into a routine but we have forgotten life is too short to simplify if we keep on deny and avoid it to happen".The moment he said,my mind constantly think how important to get married because it is part of " ibadah".Then and only then,life is finally completes.Of course the completion cannot be found in anything other than Allah.

That's where it begins,the journey to Jannah. The building of a life,patience,perseverance and sacrifice.Once,I had big arguments with Dad on my perspective.My ultimate focus in life and struggle has just begun when I started work and I always think getting married is a burden to me.Then I realized,what I desire most are mostly focusing on Dunia not Akhirat.

Ironically,I have lived presently with wrong focus and I should have sacrificed my GOAL for the sake of Allah.From my reading ( Cinta Kerana Allah),I honestly believe that its one of those things I have to reach in life.I must admit that sometimes its not easy to live like this and my mind just isn't in the mood to think.

But then again,I learned throughout the arguments and parents always want the best.Whenever I come home and daily routine to solat berjemaah with parents,I always think that kind of little moments which matter most.Will I have this moment in future with my own husband and kids?

So many little things are currently making me happy at the moment and it would consume so much of my day.Some days I couldn't think of anything else than making myself happy.Facing a heartbreak and something terrible happened in my past have made myself unhappy (obviously from most of my post in this blog).On the flip side,happiness lies in everything you are thankful for.I am so grateful to experience little amazing things everyday in my life.Everyday is a new lesson to learn.

 Having said all that,I have been quite sentimental when I start thinking the things I have  in my life.Just as I believe happiness is a choice,I believe finding a perfect home where the heart is also a choice.Its not simply fit in to another heart just because I have to (desperate).I know God has written it up there and its the matter of time.As much as I hate when the question been asked " WHEN IS YOUR TURN?",I must say with all certainty that I have had some pretty shit things happen to me in my life,the purity of anything is found at the source,which seek it through God.

And,if I want to take it one step further,I have to really focus on "muhasabah diri / self improvement".Maybe at this juncture,Allah is giving me a space to change.The changes not just emotionally,mentally but it is within me.Some people have little interest in seeing new people by joining activities where you meet more people.While I definitely find it difficult to go out there and spot on.I know I have already said it a lot, but I couldn't be happier if I just sit down and chill out waiting for the perfect timing.

I suppose,I have spent some serious time thinking about the matter above besides continuously think about my workload.I am sure some may wondering ,will I meet the perfect person while doing nothing about it and only ponder it through blog?My answer will be NO.What you hold and chase will be only God which the only thing stable and constant.

I have this thing in my head.I believe everyone has a different purpose of doing anything.Therefore,my purpose to sit and chill waiting for it is to ensure I am not rushing  into it.Writing this post has really made me think about what I consider my personal purpose to be.God knows how much I love my parents so much and how I obey whatever they said and advised.

If someone has asked me,will I accept if my parents set me up with family's friends or relatives (well my uncle did that few times).I would say,if its meant to be and the " match make" goes well,I will definitely " redha" although my answer apparently will be " no-lah".It can be a list and whole long string of words with all of the things I want to fill in the blanks.

It can be anything and it seems like a grand task to fill in the blank by sitting and chilling to write down,who will be my life partner.Meantime,the entry I wrote earlier was about the matter I justified in this entry.It seems daunting to talk about it.For that reason,I have given a lot of thought to who I surround myself with because I really do believe that others affect us in ways we cannot necessarily recognize.

Often we get caught up in life in a way that makes it difficult to really see whats going on around us and we take people in our lives for granted and we stop really seeing what's happening.The clock is ticking until end of this year.I have come to realize that I really need to pay attention to who i surround myself with.Probably the person I seek for so long, its actually just right in front of me.

But for me,it seems difficult to see now while having my mocha with double shot espresso to add up the entry on finding the perfect home.Life is so valuable to waste.

Saturday, 15 September 2012

Life changes

Every single day amazing things happened. The happiness could be endless! That being said, I'm always looking for new things to venture and do. I put aside the sad feelings I've always had.I've found that when I surround myself with the right kinds of people -- those who want me to succeed and do well, those who have faced their own trials and come out stronger, and those who have learned from their own mistakes -- I find the wisdom to be that much greater. Without other people I couldn't have the same understanding of life that I do now.

Finding what you were looking for, something that was much closer than you thought but that took awhile to connect with because life happens when it's meant to happen and love happens because it's meant to be. Despite being busy with workload and courses to attend,I am much fully occupied.Things have been sailing smoothly. Alhamdulillah. My HAPPY PROJECT seems progressing.

Over the past twelve months or so, I've done a lot of changing. I've changed the way I think. I've changed the way I do things. I've changed the activities I take part in. I've even changed the people I spend time with.Quality time!

I like consistency (which is why I kept living the way I was for so long despite the fact that it clearly wasn't good for me), but sometimes consistency isn't good. Sometimes the only way to make things better is to change them. One of the most important things I've learned through the changes I've made in my life is something I never really fully appreciated until now..

Changing isn't easy, but having others to lead me, show me, point it out to me is so helpful.My ugly sister Zara,left for europe trip her husband.She's on her way to make baby during the europe trip.I'll be missing her for 2 weeks until she comes back with my goodie!the goodie will be my yearly handbag which of course a bit from dad and mum's money plus mine.In case she reads this,I want my goodie to be the bomb!

I love you big time ugly sister!


Sunday, 9 September 2012

Welcome to the world Chadli's Junior

The past year has been one of my best. Though I didn't cross everything off of my list, I'm pretty proud of how I've spent the last 270 days so far. I welcomed September with open arms and excited to make plans for everyone.Most of the things I wanted to do especially coordinating parties for friends I love very much accomplished.Since Yana who's going to deliver her first baby in October,I have made plan to surprise her.With her silly and helpful husband,Chadli, we managed to do her "BABY SHOWER"at their place yesterday.

The plan took 2 weeks for all the excited aunties (Suria,Reen,Azie,Norin and Alia) to really put hard work and made the plan succeeded.I must give credit to all of them.Everything was perfect although we did it at home.From the decorations to games,I must say,everyone involved in each of the plan and contributed as much as they could.Thanks everyone!

 I have a feeling that this next one's going to be just as thrilling! 

I'm looking forward to this next year and it was fun to spend time thinking about the things.

Good Luck Chadli & Yana!

Wednesday, 5 September 2012

Hope -2013

The only moment I have is now, and the only beginning I have is this one. There will never be another beginning exactly like this one. I will never again be able to come back to my past. I am mentally prepared to face the phase which I can foresee there will be upside down.Obviously its not changing on new job but something I have decided after taking sometime to really think what life has to offer and I won't mess it again.

I can't really tell now.Each new year comes with new breakthrough and new history.4 months before the expiry date as quoted by my parents.Hoping that 2013 will be the new beginning to everything.Bear with me until end of this year.Been proposed?Not exactly.Dive right in and show everyone how happy I can be in future with His blessings.

 It's the mindset that I take on every time I am on the brink of something new, something both thrilling and a little bit terrifying.With an open mind and prayers,I believed,this will lead me to a better one and at least giving the chance to myself to live without any fear and tears.Eventually I found myself is ready for everything.It takes time, but it will happen.I am not guaranteed positive answer in return but I determine to do it.

I only have one life to live anyway.Its about time.The clock is ticking and August has passed.I felt out of place and wasn't sure whether or not it was the right fit for me to decide on this.As I plan to embark on this new journey of life,I am spending a lot of time thinking about how I can make most of it and overcome the negative situation.I am doing my best to focus on good things in life.I did ask Mum on this matter and she went:-

Me: Should I?

Mum: I think you should.

Me: What if the thing turn me down and I will end up crying a bucket?

Mum: When you have decided and it did not turn perfectly,refer to HIM.He has the something better for you.

Me: It was hard for me to decide and in fact I have no other options.I just feel its the right time.The more I want to hang on to them, the more miserable I can be.

Mum: Have you prayed Istikarah?

Me: Couple of times but I haven't got any clue.

Mum: Keep on praying and never stop asking from Him.If Allah permits it,He'll show you the way.