Sunday, 27 January 2013


Someone who is genuinely happy now, on the inside, is very likely to be happy in the future, regardless of his or her situation.You can see or do something million a million of times to be happy,but you can see or do it for the first time.First time experiences usually leave a reflective mark in our minds for the rest of our lives.

Though I have not looked to marriage for happiness, I have searched for it in people, places, things, and experiences and, while I have had fleeting moments of joy with these external sources, I believe there is a greater, deeper happiness that lies within me.

Because I am not and have not ever been married, I cannot comment on that aspect personally. But from an objective single person point of view, it seems like there is a lot of pressure put on finding happiness within a marriage. While, yes, some couples are definitely happy, I don't think it is healthy to rely on a situation (marriage) or a person (your spouse) for your happiness. The expectations people put on finding happiness elsewhere, whether it be in a marriage, in a new job, in a new place -- often only lead to disappointment (and, when other people are involved, resentment). People often spend their entire lives seeking something that, if access properly, has been in them all along. 

It's pretty hard to predict the future, and predicting the future of our emotional states may be no different.As for me,when my parents urged me to be serious serious with my future relationship and they want me to settle down this year,I am completely confused and blank.My parents always saw the glass half full -- maybe even more than half full, while I spent time whining about how the glass was half empty. The question is ,does marriage life promise me ever after happiness?What does it takes to build a family institution?Living with a stranger and waking up to the same face who you called a husband?

But then again,people have varying degrees of happiness and, unless they make a conscious effort to change their own happiness, they are likely to stay at the same level, regardless of what happens to them or around them.Thinking about the future of happiness, be it in myself or in others, has made me realize just how important it is to be responsible and complete myself as a human being especially as a muslim.The objective of marriage is to enable us to dwell in peace and tranquility.As stated by Prophet Muhammad, " men and woman are twin halves of each other".

I honestly don't know if I have an answer to this.I would love to have beautiful marriage life than being single.I am starting to accept this more, this idea that life is short. Perhaps it is because I am getting older; perhaps it is because I'm getting wiser. For whatever reason, I feel like I can't seem to remind myself enough just how precious life is to build a family and beautiful house with love.

As often as I write about and spend time exploring the concept of happiness, you might be surprised to hear that sometimes happiness actually scares me. When I come across those moments when I'm feeling so deliriously happy that I can't stand it.I will definitely share in my next post.To be perfectly honest,its too quick and I am trying to digest with unexpected things.I'm not going to doubt the happiness I feel now.

I pushed all of the doubts from my mind, all of the "what ifs" and all of the "buts" and I just let the happiness lay down beside me. I pushed myself against it and let myself for once! relax by its side. And, you know what? 

This doesn't happen for me very often.I woke up this morning and thought about it, I realized that I went through a little process before I was able to actually accept the happiness I was feeling...

What matters is that it's real, it's happening, and I'm finally, finally allowing another heart to fill in the emptiness.

What I miss most

Snow is my absolute favourite. It's like a magical blanket that makes everywhere become a playground and makes everywhere look so beautiful.How I missed those years and traveling! I miss wearing boots,strolling at the slippery road and snow covered paths.The city is covered by beautiful snow. It has been almost 3 years since I came back for good.There are still regrets in myself for making up such decision.

However, a lot of wonderful things happened over the three years since I came back for good although at one point, I feel like pack all my clothes and fly back to place where I don't have face the reality.

And now I am so happy that it's Monday off  tomorrow. No Monday madness and blues.It's funny how fast the week goes when you are off exploring new thing everyday to live in the moment.It's just insane.Flying of to Kota Kinabalu, Sabah for business convention on the 1st February.The whole business banking all across Malaysia will be there for yearly conference.Business plan etc.Hoping to hear good news from Mr CEO for the bonus!

Saturday, 26 January 2013

Absolute love

While walking through the major life events,I must say 2013 made me realized how important to feel positive,happy and joyful.In fact,over the past year I have learned a lot about happiness.And I've found that that  one of the most frustrating things about having happiness project (or even simply being invested in personal development): no matter how much you change, that doesn't mean those around you are going to change.

The way I define myself, my self-definition, has shifted and I have begun not only to think of myself differently, but to see the world and others through a new perspective as well. Because I really work on being happier (and, yes, it's a lot of hard work!), I don't take my happiness for granted. I see it as a part of who I am, but also as something separate from myself, something that I've worked hard to achieve.

One of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make other people happy. One of the best ways to make other people happy is to be happy yourself.. I have to be happy to make other people happy? But making other people happy will make me happy? 

And it's amazing to have my girlfriends who have been the support system throughout my happiness project.

"Happiness is not just about feeling good -- it's also about not feeling bad. Because diminishing negative experiences...brings three- to fivefold greater return on happiness than creating positive experiences."

Happy Birthday Marina.Love you big time!

Sunday, 20 January 2013

ATV experience

At the time I had no idea just how much I would like it. It was, in a single word, amazing. To sound completely and ridiculous cliche, I loved the challenge!

There is no better feeling than when you are riding ATV and encountered difficulties along the challenge of going up the hill.I'd woken up too early and instantly eager to try new thing.Still clinging to that feeling,I recommend those who want to change weekend activities rather than going for a movie or shopping should try ATV!Its awesome!

I have to admit that I'm thrilled.

I can't say this happens often, but it happens just enough that I find myself completely addicted.You may want to visit ATV,Kemensah and call them to book an appointment for the session.You have to give it your best try, do what you can to make the best of your abilities.

Don't be afraid to call yourself a risk taker.

Yours Truly,

Sunday, 13 January 2013

Loving Sunday

"No yesterdays are ever wasted for those who give themselves to today."
Brendan Francis

There's no getting around the fact that every single day won't be lovable. Life is challenging and there are simply going to be days that cannot be labeled "great", but that doesn't mean we shouldn't give it our best shot to try to love each and every day. I think it's perfectly okay to realize that not every day will be great or even good , but I don't think it's okay not to at least give every day a chance. I've definitely had some days that seemed like they would be awful and then transformed into some of the best days I've ever had.

A single moment can turn your life around and it only takes a second for day to turn from god-awful to glorious (and, yes, it can go the other way too).We can't make every day perfect, but we can give it the best head-start possible.I've never, ever been able to 100% predict what would happen to me on any given day. So when a day seems destined for dismal, take a moment and indulge in a little hope.A little hope to begin new life.2013 will be a great year although here are days when hope seems as likely as a fairy tale.

Life's too short not to love every day you're alive, but I think we often forget to love our days. Too often we forget that this life isn't a given and that even when we're in a slump or a funk or a place of pain, we're all pretty lucky to be here. Every day I must wake and must go on with my life so why not make an effort to love it? 

The little things that count to make my sunday little special is waking up happily and cheerfully to think how amazing life turned out to be.Wake up believing that your day will hold something magical and unexpected.There are a lot of things in any given day that I didn't expect it was perfectly presented.Things have happened to me that I didn't understand at the time, but that ended up being really great for me.Just great.

Thank you Allah for the blessings after days,months and years of living.Its time to shine.InsyaAllah.



Friday, 11 January 2013

Little life secret

I fell madly and deeply in love with him, you can call it cliche, but that's what happened. The way we'd talk every single day, how he`d notice every little thing I do or say.It happened really quick when we 1st been introduced.Just right on time during the time I intended to mend my broken heart.It came to a point where I broke down my barriers and let him in, but it wasn't easy because we were both two complicated people.We both had pathetic love life episodes which really jeopardized us.The thing about this relationship,we were still unsure of what we were, if we were actually a couple or not.

So the pushing and pulling away in our relationship continued, until it came to a point that we just couldn't work it out anymore, I know I loved him, and still do actually as a friend. I've never met a guy who's more patient to me than him especially when my PMS hormones starts to kick in.He was once a stranger and ended as a stranger to me again.

I couldn't blame him for letting go. I think I pushed him too hard that he had no choice but to just give up on this relationship.The clock is ticking.Even if we want to reconcile back,there is no space to fit in anymore.I just think i can't spend the whole entire life waiting and wasting another year of nothing because every second you waste in everyday of your life,you will loose the chance to live in this amazing world.

I've seen love die way too many times.I remember when I went for my 2nd Umrah trip.I cried in front of Ka'abah,asking God to give me the direction and whether is he the one.In fact, I prayed that one day,he will be my husband and lead me to Jannah.I just can't stop mentioning his name every time I pray.But God knows what He has written for me.He took away the feelings and tested me in so many ways again.

Beginning of 2013

Everything that happens in life is neither good nor bad. It just depends on your perspective. And no matter how it turns out, it always ends up just the way it should. Either you succeed or you learn something. 

In life, you get what you put in. When you make a positive impact in someone else’s life, you also make a positive impact in your own life. Do something that’s greater than you, something that helps someone else to be happy or to suffer less. 

Successful relationship takes a lot of hard work. They don't happen in a vacuum.They occur when the couples in them take the risk. Honour each other other in some way every day.The truth is, it takes both side to work on the relationship.Its something we have to do on our own because relationship is about HAPPINESS.

 Quite simply, it reminds me the relationship I used to have with Mr Stranger.We have put a stop to the relationship we embarked together.I appreciate the moments we treasured for the past a year of together.In fact, we were best friends.Sometimes there are those moments of excitement when things seem like they're falling in place.  But the best things -- the really great things -- happen when we're working towards it.God knows how much I love him.

Believe me,I know how much courage it takes to willingly choose to change and end it.I could sense something need to be different in my life but we couldn't work things out and where are heading to.It took a long time if I count all of those failed attempts from the past,to get where am I right now but I know with absolute certainty that I would not be here if I hadn't changed.

Tuesday, 1 January 2013


Oh, 2012, what a year you've been! 

2012 was filled with incredible highs and devastating lows. But, in all it's ups and downs, one thing it's been for sure is life-affirming. It reminded me how valuable and fleeting every moment is, and how important it is not to let the good moments slip away. I didn't realise just how great it was.

Life is short. I will spent a lot of time focusing on happiness and positivity and learn how to enjoy life more. In 2012, I've learned how to spend more time in the moment, doing the things I want to be doing (like writing this blog!) and it's made my life so much better. Enjoying life is one of the best things I can continue doing, both for myself and for the sake of those around me.

I think the only thing which could have made my day any better is to plan for my shopping list and travel plan this year.I haven't decide where I am heading to but for sure,my pick will be Europe including Dublin and another Umrah trip with parents sometime after Hajj's season.

How little I believed in myself, with so many things to do in 2013.Since the year I wrote resolutions such as " Be Happy, Let Go Past and Work really hard", I've done all of those things and so, so much more. When I re-read those resolutions that pathetically rested above them, I felt sad. I felt sad for my old self, who didn't know that in a few short years, she would be truly, honestly happy and doing things that made her feel like a positive, useful person. I wish I could go back to that January 1st , 2012 and tell the girl writing in that journal what her life would be like at the turn of the decade, to let her know that she will be happy and she will be productive and she will be doing so many of the things she'd always dreamed about.

In this moment, I am so thrilled that I can look back on my past ( which I literally hate every 1st Jan- reminds me the anniversary date) and tempted to look to the future and think of all of the things that could (or should) happen in 2013.Its a new beginning being 28 this year.So many things to look into especially being a career woman,a humble servant and good daughter to parents.Although I wouldn't know when will I settle down and build family institution,I believed Allah has His own reason to test me.

The prophet says, " No house built in Islam more beloved in the sight of Allah than through marriage".