Monday, 30 November 2009

Baby Rayyan

Everytime I miss my friends,I will go through friends album and laugh at the pictures.Thats the only way when you miss having them around.I extremely miss being around with my loud and kayypoooh bgff Syikin ,Zuzu si Zhafri,Syapha and Mimie.We were the most kaypooh gang back in secondary school.I know some might hate us because we were too loud and we made fun of people*COUGH*.

Recently,Mimi just gave a birth to an adorable lil boy named Abiel Rayyan.As adorable as his name,everyone in the gang was so happy having him as part of us.Jep claimed he is the god father and lil rayyan has to call him babah.Omggg Jep,over tau!I can't wait for another baby in the gang.Syikin,pls take note:)

So Hello Baby Rayyan.Welcome to the world and Congrats Mimi & Bard.I love both of u and the baby too.Glad you both became Mummy & Daddy.InsyaAllah,ill visit you sometimes next year.

Despite baby Rayyan,my baby*blerrrrghhh*,sent me his design.It is a gallery which I havent got any clue what gallery is that.Gosh architecture is soooo unacceptable.I found it very craps.Haha.Sorry syg,too bad im not an art person.

Me:"what the hell is that?"
Hilman:"Its a gallery atas awan"
Me:"what on earth u build the gallery atas awan"
Hilman:"You'll never understand the architecture,its beyond your expectation"

Fine.He dicthed me off.Eyyyyy,susahnya org art nie!Hahaha.

Leading up to this day,I miss him so much.I miss being around with an art student where we talk different language.We will ended asking each other

"You faham ke apa i cakap nie?"

and both nodded as in we understand the issue.


Saturday, 28 November 2009

The end of Nur Kasih

The end of tragedy which really petrified Nur Amina's life.Adam and Nur Amina finally got back together.Im glad the end of Nur Kasih was good.I shall give credits to Khabir Bhatia for doing great job.Nur Kasih has been the main highlight since June and everyone in Dublin inc me looking forward to watch it every Friday.So this is it.Nur Kasih's series ended during the Eid Adha.

I was amazed with Adam's quote.

"Tuhan takkan menduga kita lebih dari ape yang kita mampu tanggung"

The quote is precise.I must agreed with that.It is definite.There will always be a good reason of something or Hikmah.Good things is from Allah.Karma never exist in Islam.There was one time, a friend of mine corrected me when I wrote my status "karma will bite you back".It should be qada' and qadar.and again,Nur Kasih series has left good impact to everyone.Khabir Bhatia has inserted good value in his story.Too much to be elaborated but i learnt something from this series.

Oh,I skipped the solat raya this morn.I woke up around 9 and there goes my eid prayers.I received few calls during the morning and smses for raya all the way fr Msia.Thank you!Luckily I managed to speak to PapaMama after they got back from Melaka since the line was sucks big time.Lol.I think Melaka should upgrade the line though!

Anyways,Serene rang us up for dinner at hers.So I baked her my traditonal fav cake-Kuih Bakar since today's menu was more traditional.Its RAYA kan!Innitially I thought of baking brownies but since I havent tried before, i sticked to my Kuih Bakar.The food was fab-sedap-nak-mati.Besides that.I have made a surprised for Serene and Nuar by wearing hijab to their place.Haha.Serene was asking me,kenapaaa?Haha.Its so akward seeing me with hijab but who knows I might change kan?InsyaAllah soon!

Few Snaps!

Licin kot everything:p


this would be my fav pick,

Fairy & I

Happy Eid Adha muslims.

p/s:no such thing of korban kasih ok.korban la lembu or kambing rather than kasih.haha:p

Sunday, 22 November 2009

3 a.m

Blogging while having coffee next to me and i couldnt sleep for the past few weeks.I havent got time to update here and there.So,this is it.Blogging in the middle of night while everyone is sleeping.


Since Mummy left,I started to feel the emptiness.I spent 24 hours with her for 2 weeks and we had fab time together.Everytime I used my telekung,i still can smell her perfumes.It makes me miss her so much.Sending her to the airport was the awful moment ever.I hate the fact we have to be apart again and i couldnt take it anymore.

Before i begin to write more,my relationship status in facebook has changed.And yes,Im in a relationship with him again and this is for real.I must admit my heart has broken into pieces and to mend my broken heart was the toughest phase in my life.Everyday i would miss his presence even i tried to hide it.

I have gone through rigorous years of deleting him from my life.I tried my best but I failed.To be honest although we ended our relationship,we still keep in touch everyday.Then i realized i can't live without him even i started to mingle around.To this extend,I have hurt so many feelings just because I couldn't get over him.I never intended to hurt anyone.I am truly sorry.

As I tried to reconcile everything a month ago,I figured out astonishing news which shattered me.There's another person in between us.It takes 2 to tango isnt it?Can you imagine myself have to face all this again?I was extremely breakdown and I couldn't stop crying.My condition was unstable and vulnerable everyday.I must say i have no strength to fight the pain.Allah has tested me again.

As pathetic as it may seem,I spent most of the time blaming myself for being idiot.He tried to convinced me and promised everything will be fine but deep inside,I was devastated.I felt betrayed and cheated.Life has its way of teaching me from rights and wrongs but not in this relationship.My door of happiness was shut in the middle of recon.

I was down and couldn't think what's best for us.Things wasn't right.I lost my appetite and couldn't sleep well for the past a month.I pray to Allah to bestow me strength everyday.Mum came at the perfect time when i was down.She was here to calm me down.I was surprised when he actually handed mummy a box of khazanah jewellery box the night before mummy flew to Dublin.A gift for my graduation and an apology.

Things happen for a reason.I opted to take a risk again of investing my life to a person i love most besides mamapapa.I'm filled with so many questions in my head. Have I made the right choice?Eventually,I woke up from my sorrow and ready to start all over again.This would be the last chance i shall give for this relationship.Im leaving the past and open a new book with him as a start.

Something that I will remember forever and will really keep me going is my strength which Allah has awarded me although i was utterly suffered before.I gained my strength.My relationship with him is getting better.Everyday we try to work things out even Long Distance Relationship is sucks big time.All i can rely on is trust and im sure Allah will lead me.I only can pray the best for us,InsyaAllah.I strongly believed,Allah will guide me even he took away my happiness for a while.


Friday, 20 November 2009


I had small argument with papa just now.I'm sorry for making all these nonsence decision which hurt u papa.I never intended to do this.Papa refused to allow me going back for good.He wants me to stay and pursue studies.However,myself wants to go back and work.I want to be a career woman and do part time studies.He thinks the idea of working and studying are ridiculous.I know papa wants the best for me but................,

I seriously want to go back.I miss everything i used to have.

With love,


Wednesday, 18 November 2009

and she left...,

After spending quality time together,Mummy finally left me today.I couldnt hold my feelings.I cried all the way.I still can feel her presence.I miss her already.

Thank you Mama for everything.

so,before she left,we had our ;

last coffee session

as well as last dinner

I miss u Mama:(

Adik loves You.

Sunday, 15 November 2009

Nothing is worth more than this day

Syukur Alhamdulillah.After 2 years of juggling,stressing and crying,I managed to receive my scroll in front of Mum and the rest of guests & graduants although Dad wasnt here to share all these.I wish u were here to share the most anticipated day of my life.

Anyhow,the conferring was held in the evening.I woke up as early at 9 am & went for my makeover at Benefit Debenhams.The make-over was fab.I mean its naturally looks and not over doing it.Lil bit less better.Then heading home and dolled up.I wore my tailor-made kebaya which I really loved the design.

Fairy,Rina,Syira,Bobo,Ayman,Yan,Marina and housemates,were there to celebrate us.Thank you so much lovies!Those who sent me smses,again,Thanks alot.The ceremony was incomplete without Iskandar and Nurudin,thats for sure.They should have been here with us.Unfortunately,both are engaged with work and studies in Malaysia.


The result:)

Mommy and I

Ash & Tasha


I couldnt emphasize what was my feeling when James Browne called upon my name.It was mixed feelings.Sad,Happy and Proud.After all its worth of tears.Back then,i was excited during Uitm's graduation.Tak der rasa nak menangis but this time I almost dropped my tears because I have gone through ups and down throughout my studies path.A new beginning of life.

I would like to thank everyone who has been my support system through out years.Thank you for being there when i need a place to shelter.Besties,u all paling termuah.Im thankful for having wonderful friends who always boost my motivation level,who sent me smses,who called me when i was breaking down,who advised me in anyway,who concerned alot more than they should and who taught me to be strong person.

and also,

I would never done this without my pillar of strength .Thank you PapaMama for all those things.Thank you for the financial assist u have provided,forking out savings for the sake of my future,praying hard for me,rang me everyday to ensure im fine,listened to my studies,relationships and friends problems,remind me to recite quran and doa and not to mention,UNCONDITIONAL love.You both are my reason to live.


Myself.Recent Accounting and Finance graduates:)

Thursday, 12 November 2009

Our bonding:)

Despite being Daddy's girl,I am Mummy's girl as well.Haaa.I had amazing time with Mama in London although its only 3 days trip.We had another bonding,shopping,coffee-ing and heart to heart session in London.Everything was perfect.Undoubtedly,we wish Papa is here too.

Shopping was not the main purpose of going to London because we talked all the way.Non stop.1 and half year stories compiled during the trip.I cried,I laught and I mumbled.Aliaa has been really nice host.We did our pillow talk by the time Mama started to snooz.Haha.

The 1st day,we spent whole day shopping in Bicester.Suprisingly,I managed to control myself but Mama couldnt help herself spending.I begged her to buy me Mulberry small tote but she refused.She said I should buy my dream handbag rather than buying small tote because I had my Gucci last July.Fineeeeeeee:(.So I managed to get shoessssssss and few stuff.Well,I don't really mind as long everything was sponsored.Anyhow,she bought lots for Papa which made me so jealoussssss.Everytime we went into the shop,she'll be like
"Ni cantik for Papa".

We went to oxford street on the 2nd day.Mostly we spent on cousins,aunties and uncles' stuff but what I hate most was Mama bought 6 perfumes for herself.Darn.6 in a row ok.She went mad.She offered me only 1 perfume but I rejected because I really want her to buy me my dream bag.Percubaan kedua,GAGAL.I only got few tops.Mama asked me to be patient because I just got new handbag less than a year.

Being the only child is not the reason to be spoiled.I prefer to ask Papa rather than her because Mama often reminds me,"PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE".So my job was to accompany her buying her stuff throughout our trip.Anyhow,I redha jer because I know Mama will fulfill my dream bag later->In my dream!

We had starbucks everyday and started to talk more and more when we decided to stop for a coffee.Mama has been my bestfriend throughout my 24 years of living.She has became my place to talk everything.The past few weeks I was demoralize.I couldnt stop crying.Mama has played big role as a mother,sister and friend to me.She comforts me all the way to make me stop cying.I can't imagine myself without her and papa to be honest.I have no one except them.

Besides that,we had few dicussion regarding my future.I seriously wanna go home because I can't stand on my feet alone here especially when Im down.Home where I belong and no other place like home.Mama wants me to stay and so Papa.My decision to go back for good wasn't really good idea.I hope she can consider it and pursuade papa to let me go back.Amin.

Anyhow,I have 12 hours before my graduation.I wish Papa is here with us and share the moment he has been waiting for.Poor thing.Today,Papa turned 54 years old alone without us around especially Mama.He is currently battling with exam on his birthday.Good Luck Papa sayangggggggg.Mama and Adik have faith on u.Pls do it for us:)

I shall sleep by now.I have booked makeover's appointment at 9am.Haha.Sooo Good night lovies.Ill update more tomorrow.Ttyl

Sunday, 8 November 2009


Off to London with mumsy!

Friday, 6 November 2009

You are the reason Im smiling now

I love You Ma.

Monday, 2 November 2009

"And when the Quran is recited,then listen to it and remain silent,that mercy may be shown to you"

The past few days,I was vulnerable.I cried the whole week thinking how hard my life turned out.I texted Papa and Mama.I know Mama will be here this friday but I seriously couldn't hold my feelings.Both of them sent me the same smses.

"Pray and recite quran to make you feel better"

So I did.I realised I have been so snobbish to Allah.I have forgotten Him for a while.I have neglected my responsibility as His humble servant.Tasha told me

"You jangan sombong sangat dgn Allah.

Then Aunt Angah texted me Doa for me to recite every morning.

My heart shattered."A Broken promise is a betrayal of trust".I couldn't believe im trapped and drowned again.And again,it left me with another bruised.

Things happened with a good reason.Allah has given me strong heart to go through all this and standing on my feet to get up from my big fall again.

We coloured our own life.Ya Allah,Please guide and lead me to a better future.Amin.