Friday, 26 December 2008
Monday, 22 December 2008
Friday, 19 December 2008
Pian has safely arrived last nite.Acap and i picked him up at the airport.We waited him for an hour before he went out from the bluddy door.Hish.Went back to Acap's place and played cards until 2 am.That is the reason i "ponteng" my fav classes today.I felt very bad.Blame Pian for all those!heh;p
Aysha's birthday is coming up.Sedihnyer i can't be there to surprise her(this is 2nd year!) but im happy the fact she and her beloved Khaidyr r content together.No words can define her happiness now:))
Btw,i miss Liyana so muchos.Babe!im not sure whether u have time to read this,i RINDU u yg teramat.infact i have letter FOR u but i keep it until Vday to send with the card.Wonder what r u doing now:(
I better get going.Tax tutorial at 2pm.I have to catch up the 2 hours class just now.Tonite i have class mengaji at clanbee with Cikgu Din.Oh well,have to brush up baca Quran.Plus Din used to teach org mengaji back in Malaysia.
Happy Friday lovies!
Wednesday, 17 December 2008
Currently bz juggling with studies which i can tell 2.4 paper and my finance II is so diff.Finance II hell-susah (complicated).im gonna spend my christmas in Dublin brainstorming and not in London to shop.No boxing day for this year.pity me;( wish saya LUCK!
Sunday, 7 December 2008
ayah cik,retard cousin azri & hanis
bubbly cousin hasya & azri.wah hanis berhijab and my bubu gemok behind;p
naked hanis and aunt akma.mcm nak cubit hanis!geramsss.
mummy dearest and si busok.
I don't want to fall in love again.I admit the fact im still heart broken with those things occured in past.I don't have the guts to start all over again.I guess all i need is to focus on what i really want in life and future which awaits me.I have enough of crying,being paranoid and stressing myself.Its awful to the max.May be it was me who's not perfect and tried so hard to work things out.I cannot deny the fact i miss him everyday everysecond.How can i forget someone whom i gave heart to and can't live without.To step forward without looking back is impossible although we have own sweet life now.I went through all the days without him with tears and regrets.Put aside all the trouble,he is everything to me.A person who reminds me not to forget solat,sent me food all the way,played me guitar,sent me the msg such as cherish our love,bought me so many things which i couldnt count how many of them,quit his job to be by his late mum's side and love me more than anything else in this world.All the memories i keep inside.I don't hate him with what he has done.Human made mistake don't we?I did it too.Somehow i think all those things happened ader hikmah which brought me here.I might not realised how big is this world and to see how beautiful Allah's creature.THANK YOU LOVE.All the best in future and May Allah always be with you:)
*I seriously need mama and papa to cuddle me.Im such a cry baby tonite.Btw,selamat hari raya aidiladha.another eid without loved ones:(*
Monday, 1 December 2008
i loved all Mocca songs.it can make me SNOOZING and smile till next morn:)very smoothing and in love with the indons.hehe.
missing thosedays watching jazz performance at alexis & bangkok jazz.hence i miss the atmosphere at lecka-lecka star hill,mali's keuy teow,murni's meatballs,chilis chicken crispers and kopok lekooorrrrrrr...everything seemed to be missed.baru 3 months balik!Oh mr winter,hurry up.i want to end 2008 as soon as possible and cant wait for 2009.pa,i wanna go home:(
cik lut and tasha
Wednesday, 26 November 2008
Monday, 24 November 2008
I was in Cork last weekend.a day trip which caused me millions of tears and stressed.Yeah,im still stress until now.Terrible feelings.Had great time at Kinsale,Cork.More pictures?Facebook will do.My emotion is unstable.A mixture all unnecessary feelings that bothering me since then. Really hope Alllah gives me guts to go through all this.Amin Ya Rabbal allamin.
i need some beauty sleep now.haf my finance class and need to do laundry & buy groceries tmrw although i had online groceries shopping.Later then!
Friday, 21 November 2008
Friday, 14 November 2008
Papa had blast birthday high tea at sunway hotel on his birthday and he is battling with final exam today.Good luck pa.
Meantime,do enjoy my weekdays tak der keja activities with friends:)
cik waed who didnt go to work:)
Tuesday, 11 November 2008
Thursday, 6 November 2008
After a while,i found myself lost with my own words.confused what i want in my life today and future.I admit myself always dependent.I cant make my own decision and will turn to family and friends to decide.Even my relationship too which i suppost to decide for own sake.To think back,I started to stand on my own feet when i arrived in Dublin,place i called home for another few years and yet i still cant cook and feed anyone coz i relied on ppl around me to cook.thats sucks..I just have no effort to work things out..again,that makes me so un-favourable to myself.this entry is not cursing me for being like this,but i definitely need self improvement.im glad,with all the courage,im willingly to try.yes,learning process.its not too late to change.Mama always said"u may not change your beauty outside,but u may change the internally".It makes me realise,i just have to keep on trying regardless how hard it is.Betol tak?In life,what sometimes appears to be the end,is really a new beginning....
What i will be in 1o years time?
I can imagine what i am in 10 years time.I probably not an auditor or accountant who sits on the chair working ass.Working and keep working like both of my parents.They r very workaholic.Im proud of them though and appreciate every penny of their effort,loves and cares.I wish im like papa who only sleeps at 10pm and mama who never stop working to make her life occupied.Seriously im differ from them.I still remember when i was 14,i wanted to be an interior designer.Then i changed to become a lawyer.I used to be very ambitious but always didnt stick to my innitial plan.Sad huh?Well,im saying in 10 years time i want to stay at home to be full time home-maker,spend more time with my both parents,seeing my liltle cousins growing up,make family bond closer than today,tea-ing & cooking with aunties and uncles,shopping and hanging out with friends,gardening with papa,teaching kids and have own business, interior and wedding planner:)
10 years is a long way to go.Insyaallah.Meantime,im praying hard to get my ass to pass with flying colours for my final year to make both Papa and Mama smile on my graduation.Smile=Proud.It is always their dream to see me graduate and this will be the second time after CAT.Thus,Papa will graduate sometime next year and both anak beranak will graduate in the same time.Amin.Its all plan and may Allah will be with us.
Tomorrow another Management Accounting class(my fav subject forever!) and need to submit Irish taxation.heh.no class after 11 am and yeay,next week is reading week.Looking forward to kawteeem with all subjects i cudnt catch up and outline plan for individual assignments:)
Havent solated yet and need some beauty nappy.Laters!
P/S:excuse my long entry.emo:)
Tuesday, 4 November 2008
I had very bad flu-ish and fever-ish.went out for halloween but for only few hours and ended stranded at friend's place.Ali was here last weekend.apa-lah lagi,he brought my things which he tak bwk balik malaysia coz he missed his flight.boo hoo..so Acap,Fairy and i haf to entertain him last weekend.konons entertaining org london.fuh.we had so much FUN with ali especially making fun of him.well,Acap dragged all those "lame stories when we were in Uitm" which made me suckies all the time.heh;(
Oh yea,im not going for boxing day in london this year coz i have tons of assignment to be ready after christmas.i know i'll missed all those shopping heaven and tinggal one pound during last year's boxing day.heh.i have to "puasa shopping" for one year jer then im DONE!I need to working my butt and luck.Pls pray for me!
Finance class at 3pm.have to do some preparation.WACC is freaking hard to understand.still blur about coupun rate.yada yada.
I purposely didnt read & do my Audit and Tax homework waiting to be done.OMG*in the tone oooo--myyyy---gooood*Dah pandai takot.Hish.
Wednesday, 29 October 2008
Tuesday, 28 October 2008
Saturday, 25 October 2008
I have to juggle up with Irish Tax which much more complicated than Malaysian Tax.Finance II which make me blur a sec before undertstand the whole idea plus FR which need me to read.5 subjects arent easy*sigh*.Urghh. I'm trying my best to look at things in a different light but my emotions are overclouding me!Ya ALLAH,i need extra guts here.Amin.
Yet,i am still homesick.Can u imagine although i have tons of masalah,i cannot hide my sickness.I always wish i wake up and Ma is in the kitchen preparing the breakfast and Pa is gardening.Hurm.I miss going shopping with Ma and lunch out with her.She is a person i can like "Ma,jom pegi makan then kiter jalan-jalan(hint for shopping)" and she will like "ok,bole".simple.bonding session almost every weekend and she is a bestfriend to me,no other words could define it.
I feel like going home now.oh enuffff!!i think im too much at this point.better get going.i have weekend sleepover at jervis.tomorrow is their open hse.i jadi maid okaaayh.heh.
P/S:missing someone.ehh.no way.deleted it.
Thursday, 23 October 2008
For years,i scrutinized my happiness just to be with him while i know i would never be happy.
For years,i was waiting for someone who can make me happy during my birthday.he did not.just not.
For years,i refused to open my heart and let my broken heart cure but i still cant.
For years,i lied to mama the fact he hit me.
For years,i couldnt believe that im still thinking of him,missing him,intentionally replying his sms and picking up his calls.
For years,all the harsh words came from him is like nothing to me.
For years,i am silly.silly and silly.
and for the 1st time i BURRIED my feelings towards him.5 years aint a small number but i can't live in denial that the fact i am loving someone who hurts me.
its time for me to move on.not to say im ready for the next relationship,i want to become matured as my papa's wish.
i have enuff.
Wednesday, 22 October 2008
Sunday, 19 October 2008
Wednesday, 15 October 2008
Ive been craving for nasi lemak quite sometimes.thankies nizam for the nasi lemak all the way fr dundee scotland although he cooked at my hse.seriously yummylicious!looking forward to go nizam's place soon.
Been pissed off with some s*** happened.its the matter of respect and courtesy.i put it aside coz i dun want to bother my semangat waja to study.heh.u know lah final year is about hardworking and passionate.like hell-lo,final year is tougher!
I have been in the class for the past 3 weeks.tried to push myself to wake up early in the morn so i have the "mood".ha ha.Lecturer:James Brown is like the cutest FR's teacher but still no one can even beat James Keneddy my fav Finance teacher in year 2.heh.i tried not to mix up my personal probs with studies.so pls doakan im in the right track.i wanna get 1st class honours like my clown roomie,elina.
Lets keep in the book 1st.very complicated.i burried all the feelings for the sake of my studies.
Missing the girlfriends and bffs in msia.i wish Malaysia is few mins from Dublin.i can lepak 24/7 and tell them how bored i am.pfft.
I need Mama now.in the middle of vulnerable and need her soulder to cry on.
This entry is pointless=p
Tuesday, 14 October 2008
Over the weekend,my schedule was so pack with open hse*free food* and yada yada.i dun even have time to update my black book.duth.plus internet connection at my new place suckies all the time.NTL patot di banned.Papa and mama rang me almost everyday coz they miss to webcam with me which made me felt guilty.i should have the initiative to online sumwhere..oh akma,dat is so lame excuse.besides abandoning parents, yuyu and berg complained i didnt online and broke the promise.im sorryyyyyy darlings.i tried to catch up the two of u later.there r so many things to talk about.its just the matter of time.time time:((
Despite open hse and internet connection,im having tough days now.i seriously need guts from Allah to move on.some s*** happened and im working out my butt to beristighfar & bersabar byk coz obstacles comes all the time.too emotional to elaborate more.its just i believe in karma.what u did,u get back.
October will end in 15 days time.there r so many things to go through.i guess patience will pay.
ttyl then.this song dedicated to all my lovies.
Wednesday, 1 October 2008
Dearest Cousins especially budak notty Hanis and Afif
Mama & Papa and I webcammie session.
Us in Gold color <3333>
Thanks pwincess yuyu!
and to BERG for the doodle raya!
Monday, 29 September 2008
I would like to wish everyone SELAMAT HARI RAYA especially:
My Beloved Papa and Mama.They are the reason i breathe now.The reason why im strong to stay here and apart from them.
My Beloved Uncles and Aunties(Cik yus,Mak Cik Akma,Cik Jah and Ayah Cik),My gang yg ketots(ketots clan-Hasya,Hanis,Azri and Afifi),Cousin Kak Ani and his son, Isaac,Tok,Pak wo,Mak wo Jasmin,Aunt angah,adik,aisyah,haikal,eg,Unc din,Aunt Hakimah,Balqish->too many *waa lehhh weh*
My dearest friends asyha,yuyu,kema,lala,umi,nor,fiza,asma',aida,dang,miera,liyana,shira,shikin and my dearest bff zhafir ,zhafir,hilman,fariz,nisa,zaza,and those org2 giler LONDON.haha:p
My TS Council(smua lah),Juicy yan,Bloggers whom i know,Kawai gang in UMNO and generasi gemilang esp mr berg n zeileen,to all Mustapharaj associates ppl,Uitm friends and dubliners(FAIRY,MARINS,ESAH,WAED,TASHA TAHIR,NATASHA,KIKI,brabazon grls,jervis girls)
to those i forgot to jot the names.i super tired lah.excuse i have full class today.
MAAF ZAHIR BATIN.
Sunday, 28 September 2008
Tasha,Anis,Elina and I:)
From The Tenterfields,South brown street
We bring you our home-made video clip as card sempena aidilfitri.will upload more trailer.
Saturday, 27 September 2008
Thursday, 25 September 2008
breaking the curiousity of why im keeping myself silence for the past 2 weeks-> lost my lugage on the day i arrived in dublin.left my precious watch given by mama at heatrow(super sedih),my fedex package was stucked at irish custom and bla bla.its really torturing me.dugaan bulan puasa but alhamdulillah everything went well.oh,my class will starts next week.time running super fast and raya is less than a week.
honestly,i dun feel like celebrating eid this year. i probably in the class on the 1st raya and again i hate the feeling raya di perantauan as i possibly cry mcm org giler teresak2 especially when all raya songs being played.hurm.how i wish dublin is next to my place=MALAYSIA.(dream on akma!)
these few days,ive been keeping myself occupied bcoz my level of homesick getting worst.the only thing i cud do is webcamming with parents and berjalan2 to friend's place.oh just got back fr jervis place.esah and bun are going back to Msia to celebrate raya tmrw.super jealous pls.its a diff feeling when u go bck for holidays and raya okaaayhhh.hish.i need my family and friends here pls:((
later lah.im watching my fav series ever-ever currently.sex and the city.blogging while watching it.trust me,i enjoyed watching it.dramatic okaayhhh.
pssst:im working my butt to adapt facebook yg sometimes pening pls.heh;p