worth of living

"For what it's worth: it's never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There's no time limit; stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same; there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you're proud of. If you find that you're not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again." - The curious case of Benjamin Button

After hearing these words, I thought back to a night not too long ago when I was lying in bed and thinking to myself , is it going to happen or should just stop thinking about it and talking about it.  It was then that I realized  I was doing the same thing I did last year when I started to ask " where is this relationship heading to?".

and the question was not answered & hanging...

It breaks my heart into pieces..

I was focusing on what wasn't working for me in my life instead of what was. And, instead of taking action about what I wanted to change, I was dwelling on how things weren't going my way. 

 Coming to the realization that I was exactly who I didn't want to be -- someone who sat around doing nothing while complaining that her life wasn't going the way she wanted it to -- that I recognized the desperate need for change in my own life. I came to the understanding that, contrary to my own negative thinking, I really wasn't too late for me to work on and someday reach my goal to have an amazing life.

I came to the understanding that, if I wanted it to happen, I was going to have to make it happen. 

When I first began thinking about my new relationship with my partner, it seemed to me that so many things were a given and that we didn't really have to think too much about being thankful.. I used to not really get the point of being thankful. Always looking for the purpose behind something, I never could quite figure out what I could get out of feeling grateful. I understood what I got out of telling others I was thankful, but I didn't really see the point of spending a lot of time being thankful internally. Until now. Now I realize just how important gratitude is. It actually serves a real, true purpose in my life. 

Nothing makes a relationship better than when you are truly grateful for the other person. Sure, all relationships have ups and downs, but if you keep gratitude in mind no matter what you're going through, you're more likely to have a much better relationship. Be grateful for the people in your life and you'll find that your appreciate comes through in your words and actions. 

For so long, I've had dreams and I always had that "someday" mentality. Now I wake and realize that it is someday and there's no magical formula that will turn dreams into reality. I have a wonderful, supportive guy in my life and I know a man who I used to break his heart will help me take these dreams of mine and turn them into something I can hold in my hand. It's not going to be easy, but I have a good feeling that, in the end, it will all be worth it...