Waiting...

“You don’t have the power to make life 'fair,'
 but you do have the power to make life joyful.”

-Jonathan Lockwood Huie-

Waiting, for me, has always been a problem. Like so many people, I have tended to think in terms of someday. I've spent a great deal of time waiting for something to happen and, for that reason, over the past few years I've been striving to live a more present life. Waiting, I discovered, didn't do much for me. For 3 years after my bad break up, I was waiting for someone who can fill my emptiness .However, I ended up with a wrong relationships except for the last one, the break up was mainly because of the distance.I know, it seems predictably ironic to talk about relationships at this juncture where at this age I supposed  to have husband and kids to spend time with after working hours.

How old are you right now? Your age is how many years you’ve been thinking the way you do. So its pretty hard  to start everything all over again when you are turning big 3 next year.As I was sitting on the couch, reading my note book after my jogging session last night, I kept reaching for my pen, underlining and underlining what is my achievement , passions and what am I going to achieve before turning 30 next year. Lately, I've been having some pretty good work days. I've been loving my new job and I'm so happy to be where I am now. However, that doesn't mean I don't remember the days when I was struggling to make it through the day.I know some days can be a really big struggle.

When I first heard Ben Harper's "One Road to Freedom," it got me thinking about what my road to freedom is. What is it that sets me free? What makes me feel as if I can cope with all the ups and downs of life? The more I contemplated the lyrics, the more I realized that what sets me free is what I'm passionate about. How long more should I wait for someone to fit in? Only God knows. So why in the world i must wait? Why don't I pursue my passion?

Passions aren't always easy. We may feel strongly about something, love it with all of our might, but that doesn't mean it's going to come easily to us. Some of the very best things in life take a lot of hard work and dedication. Some of the very best things in life requiring being brave and pushing ourselves beyond boundaries. For me, my passion is playing futsal. Futsal has been one of my list of activities but somehow, I didn't pursue it well except before the yearly Inter-bank tournament.

Just as nothing great was ever accomplished without passion, nothing great was ever accomplished without hard work. If you love something, you have to work at it. You have to do it as frequently as you can. It has been three month since fasting month my schedule is pack with futsal match.I am pretty much occupied every week with friendly match. I get to meet people, I get to sweat and the obvious thing is, I have improved my skills.

Sometimes when people are passionate about something, they become so focused that they lose sight of the fun.  Therefore, make it enjoyable. I become too focused and forget what it was that really inspired me in the first place.  Perhaps because I am tired to go on date and start a new relationship all over again, I lost my interest on getting to know people. Hahaha ;P

What sets each of us free is the one thing that motivates you to keep going, that thing you've been passionate about forever and don't ever see yourself getting tired of. I have discovered myself loving what I am pursuing right now. I don't feel sad anymore wondering what is my next relationship episodes. I am still living in present and normal life. I still enjoy my coffee and go on date with my friends. It's just I don't wait anymore. I just want to travel and be happy.