October

When I fall in love, I fall hard. When I read something wonderful, powerful, or moving, I want to scribble hearts all over my notebook like a little school girl and jot it down in my blog.It's not easy to live in the present. I try. I really, really try, but I'm not always there. Sometimes I get sucked back into the past, caught up in thinking about what might have been or what I think should have been. But, as I'm sure you know, it's pointless. You can't go back. You can only be here now. Focusing on the now is what I'm striving to do, and I really believe I can overcome this little hurdle and come out even stronger because of it.

I want to tell everyone about it and spend time writing about what I think about it.I made better choices than I think I have in a long time. I chose not to embrace self-pity and indulgence in my negative emotions. I chose to do positive things, while still remembering to acknowledge my feelings.I remember how awful I portrayed myself when my heart was broken.It was so hard to fix the broken pieces.

I think did this so well. I was letting my past -- which I'd neatly folded and shoved under my bed, hoping it would never be seen again -- infiltrate my present. I was letting who I was impact, to a great extent, who I am now. Of course, the past will always be with us. We cannot undo what has been done. We cannot go back in time and make better choices (but how I wish we could!). All we have is now. And, the way I see it, we cannot let the past (especially the bad parts of it) take over. I've worked so hard over the past 1 year plus  at trying to be a happier, more positive person. I am not about to let one awkward night of revisiting the past take that away from me. I am putting my foot down.

With a little effort, I find myself more and more in the moment. I found myself getting just a little bit better at steering my thoughts back to whatever sense I was supposed to be focusing on. I thought back on the years before, all of the days I'd wasted, and then I thought of last year and how I'd done my best to make every day worthwhile. Sure, they weren't all great days.I have made it through.

Alhamdulillah.