Saturday, 6 July 2013

Growing old-28-ISH

Looking back, I'm surprised at how much I'm like the person I was back then. Looking around me, I'm startled to see so many remnants of my " broken heart phases".Funny how I wrote the sequence and things who made me today.A person who always have many thoughts in her mind.Being an adult might not be easier for me, but clearly is still a big part of who I am—and I'm pretty sure it always will be. 

As an adult, I now spend my days doing what I love, surrounded by things that make me smile—a loving family, challenging career, a wonderful friends, rows and rows of story books and pink colors things in my room. Adult life is far from perfect.I never thought growing up process takes a lot of courage and strength.So many things to deal with and for sure,its complicated for certain reason.Clearly,I just want a happy life.Things which I want it to be - my way.

When I think about it that way, I think about things differently. Of course we're going to want things from others -- how could we not? -- but we should first think what we want for ourselves. I am not, by any stretch of the imagination, all of the things mentioned above. However, I want to be. I would love to be all of those things and I believe that someday I will. But for now I will work on them. I will recognize that I want to find these things in others and, therefore, must have them within myself. Amidst all of the questions and the drawn out sentences of this post, I think it comes down to one key thing: change the "I want" to the "I am."

Today I have a lot of questions, questions about knowing the fact life is moving too fast.I am turning 28 in 2 weeks time. I feel that I have aged well-beyond my twenty-eight years (which, to be honest, is not an entirely new feeling for me; I have always felt much older than I really am). I always wanted to grow-up because I felt much more comfortable in the world of adults -- and yet I don't feel as though I ever fully did grow up, though technically most would consider me of adult age. 

All that being said, the countdown begins.My wishes this year are too many.Likewise,my parent's gift for this year is none other than a handbag.I am all excited to meet new addition to the collection and of course my darling Hazlind is coming back from San Francisco this year for Eid!I can't wait to spend time with this darling again after 2 years of away and our shot getaway to Langkawi with the two munchkins Aida & Shaq.