Fall in love..

“Say, ‘Indeed, my prayer, my service of sacrifice, my living and my dying are for Allah, Lord of the worlds.'” (6:162)

All I really wanted to do was curl up on the couch and contemplate all the things that weren't going right, but I knew that definitely was not the best way to find solution to my issue. It has been a while since I really post on how I feel  and any relationship episodes I am going through at this juncture. Somehow, my fear to fall in love and being hurt haunted me since my last relationship. I realised myself fall in love blindly and I have always forgotten to fall in love with something greater, fall in love with the real thing, none other to fall in love with Allah SWT. I fell for my dunia but not for my akhirat. It would be nice if I could always walk in sunshine (prefect relationship with God and a human), but I know that's not the case. I walked in the dark sometimes, stumbling and unsure where my relationship with human is heading to and ended crying for nothing. It was a waste of my tears. It has been a year since i finally gave up on thing which can't work out. It all happened too fast when I thought that would be the turning point, where we’d cross the line and go forth down that path, and everything would be perfect and fine. June is finally here, 3 weeks down the road going to be my favourite month and I have something to decide on my future... Wallahualam. At this point of time, my heart is battling and I only can pray for the best because there is nothing greater than HIS plans for me but there is something I need to tell.. It was harder than I thought and convincing my heart is way tougher.  Sometimes, we love things that we can't have...,