Sunday, 20 May 2012

I Won't give up

"The pain does not go away easily but it becomes manageable along the way.The learning process to accept and adapt the fact from bad experience will make you a wiser person.."

Often,all those memories came across my mind which I would end up crying my heart out.I can't deny it took me ages to digest the reality.Everyday I pray my "memories" gone when I wakes up every morning.I always remind myself to live in current,buckle up and step ahead .Even when I was performing umrah,I did ask from Allah to bestow me strong heart and let all the memories cease. Truthfully speaking,slowly it vanished and I couldn't recall all.Somebody I used to know and love has gone for the rest of my life.

But what had happened to me its only part in life.There are so many things coming up and it takes courage to grow up,never give up and follow my heart.Everyday is a brand new day to treasure.I cherish and acknowledge the thoughts/cares from others who always there for me when I need a place to shelter.Sometimes I feel so lucky to have everyone around me who always concern every little things happened to me.

For now,I am happy.Trully happy indeed.I have no fear to move on and start a new relationship.After all,isn't one the purpose of life is to have a companion who always be by your side in bad and good times?God knows how much suffered I have to bear until the day I declared myself a happy person.The sky was grey,I couldn't see a rainbow,my heart was shattered and my door of happiness shut.At this juncture,I am no longer living in sorrow.

I have spent almost a year to get over my broken heart.Finding the perfect time when the time has always been not right to me.I rejected,I compared and paranoid to start all over again.But really,"when one door closed,another door is happily open" for you.Therefore,I tried my level best to accept the flaws.

With all my sadness entries on how my longest relationship went wrong and tears everytime I jot my blog,I am in a relationship again.It's too early to make it public and saying I love him more than anything else in this world, which is still understatement.Embarking a mature relationship is amazing.Sometimes,I can feel the nervous to call him as my boyfriend.Of course,no specific names been addressed at the moment.It is U and I. 

I have had wonderful time,exciting and inspiring day everyday with him.He has been an icing to my cake,a chocolate on top of my ice cream and a sunshine to me.A man who's patiently dealing with my drama and impatience.A man who teases me and imitates whenever I nag.A man who gives full support just like my dad.A man who loves his family.A man who colours my world with his jokes.A man who remembers every single thing I told him.A man who is a stranger to me but not any more is literally a person I called "a boyfriend".

As I learnt from my past,relationship is not important to be published in social network.It involves lots of parties.I don't want to be seen as "a social attention seeker" just to tell everyone that I am moving on now.Enough of close friends and family to know we are in a relationship.I was quite nervous to be introduced to his family.It has been ages since I feel the same way.Things have been running smooth .I am so thankful except I am still adapting and adjusting the thing called "relationship".

I am back to normal ritual of calling everyday before going to bed,telling him hows my day so far.At this time, my thoughts are scattered here and there,everywhere.There are so many things in my mind and my doa has been granted.I found my happiness.I grew up surrounded by love since I am the only daughter in the family.I will end up sending him a bbm " can I have your attention please" and he always annoys me with "you ni mengada la".So,there's how our relationship is.We don't go for PDA like "auw I love you baby".It's a long way to go.We prefer to be seen as best friend rather than a girl-boyfie.

I remember when I first met him.I remember to see his face when I came back from my umrah trip.I remember how he looked like when I got into his car after 2 weeks away and no connections at all.I remember his face when I saw him after we both argued on the phone.I remember when I caught him looking at me then smile.It is simply amazing.

Dear YOU,leading up to this day,thank you for being not nice to me on earth.Making annoying jokes,teasing how obvious my "buncit tummy", embarrassed me infront of your cousins and siblings,giving me the whatever look,stopping me to eat at night and keep on saying "you were slim back then".On top of all those,you are still ter-muah.