Tuesday, 21 August 2012

stop asking?

Lately I've been asking myself a lot of questions. As I cruise through my twenties, I'm trying to figure everything out. I'm trying to figure out my career, my relationships, my likes and dislikes, and, most importantly, my place in this world. At times it can be overwhelming and I find my mind racing with questions, my thoughts filled with queries that lack answers.

Today I've decided to get to the bottom of these questions -- not necessarily by finding the answers to them, but by really thinking about them. As I find myself wondering and wondering, I have to ask myself the big question: "How much of this really matters?" When I reflect on what my overall goal is in life -- to positively live a life of purpose -- I realize that not all of the questions racing around in my head need answers. In fact, many of the questions I find myself struggling with don't even really need to be asked. Nonetheless, I often feel like I'm a little kid, still trying to figure out the world. I want to know -- always -- the big question: "Why?" I find myself pondering: Why do certain things happen to me? Why do others not happen to me? Why am I not experiencing the dream career I thought I'd have by now? Why am I so lucky to have great people in my life? Why am I living where I am, doing what it is that I do? Why do I love this and hate that? Why is my mind always racing with questions? Why, why, why...

There are so many "whys" in my life and sometimes it's very, very frustrating when I start questioning myself, my life, and the world around me. As you've probably found when you've asked yourself those big "life" questions, the answers aren't always easy to find (if, in some cases, there are even answers at all...). Being the impatient girl that I am, it's not always easy for me to deal with these unanswered questions. I want answers and I want them now. Sure, this is that living-in-the-moment attitude, but it's not really helping me to get answers -- or to be content with the fact that I may not always have (or ever get!) answers.