Sunday, 29 July 2012

See life through the eyes

We are often reacting to how we feel -- or anticipating how we think somethingwill feel -- rather than contemplating how we actually want it to feel. And, to top it off, we usually only spend time thinking about feelings when it comes to the big things -- life changes, relationships, the year ahead, etc. But what about how we want the little things to feel? The day-to-day things? What about how we want this very moment to feel? 

I decided to delete my previous post which I found it really emotional and confused with my own self.As age catching up and growing older,there are so many things to catch up.Juggling and coping with life changes can be  pretty much pressuring.Often I stood up with my principle "never give up"but I failed to stick with it.Career,relationship,personal problems mixed up and I can't handle it on my own.

Emotions are tricking things and, as much as we really do have control over them, it can be hard to admit to this power we have. Admitting we are in control means we have to be accountable for how we feel, something we don't always want to do. But being accountable for your emotional state -- and choosing it on your own -- is a wonderful, powerful thing. But choosing how you want to feel -- and refusing to let anything (or anyone) stand in your way -- you can create the life you want to be living. 

There's no getting around the fact that every single day won't be lovable. Life is challenging and there are simply going to be days that cannot be labeled "great" -- but that doesn't mean we shouldn't give it our best shot to try to love each and every day. I think it's perfectly okay to realize that not every day will be great -- or even good -- but I don't think it's okay not to at least give every day a chance. I'm not sure about you, but I've definitely had some days that seemed like they would be awful and then transformed into some of the best days I've ever had. Life is unpredictable like that and it's hard to know what's going to happen in a single day. As many of you probably know, a single moment can turn your life around and it only takes a second for day to turn from god-awful to glorious

Many people who aren't already in love want to be. And why is that? If they don't know who they want to be in love with, why would they want to be in love? Because of the way it makes them feel -- and the way it transforms the world around them. Being in love, for many, seems like a destination. So many people want to be in love, but one of the main reasons they want to be in love is because they want to see the world through those rose-colored glasses. 

When I wrote,I am not ready to commit into a relationship,I must admit its all lie.How could I said I am not ready to be in love when everything is perfectly presented to me as it is.He was there to lend his shoulder when I was down,he was there to make me laugh with his annoying jokes and he was there to listen to all my work problem.He's just there.I demand too much attention from him and I only see the flaws rather than what he has done to make me happy as his partner.

Last week I really found myself looking at the worst in everything. Once I started looking for the bad, it was like a downward spiral. I started seeing the bad things everywhere. I sent him an sms  and told him "I GIVE UP and THINGS DIDN'T WORK OUT"  .I completely ignore his feelings and stick to my egoism.Then,I realized,I am full with emotions and I feel a lot worse.I won't change anything by ending a relationship which caused by my own self.What it has got to do with my MBA application,completing CCP,never ending work load and future plan?

It does not have to be this way. I have -- we all have -- a choice to make choices. Every day I choose to wake up, to get dressed, to go to work. That is my daily story. I write it day in and day out and, for the most part, don't think about revisions or edits or plot twists.I choose to multitasking.Everything at one go which it supposed to be balance.Career and relationship.

Eventually,I realized there is almost nothing like looking into the eyes of someone you love so much.So yesterday,when we were in the car heading to Empire for dessert while listening to Lite.FM,he was singing and pointing his hand to me,I was extremely touched.I almost jeopardize my own happiness just because I'm confused with my feelings.

Love makes the world seem brighter.As we were talking to each other like,I rewrite my current thoughts and feelings. The past is gone. The time is now. It's hard when things are going wrong in one area of life to want to focus on anything else.I shouldn't end the thing we had and time we have taken to develop the feelings.And I choose to remain faithful to this relationship.I shouldn't let my ego and past haunting me for entire life.There's no point of dwelling and comparing my current relationship and my past. Therefore,I'm going to do the best I can do make the most of the moments I have.

I've learned that, when it comes to love, you can find yourself doing absolutely nothing and realize that you're having the most amazing time together.I know,Love requires hard work but it shouldn't drain myself.For the past 10 months of getting to know each other,his presence alone is enough to brighten my day and every single kind thing he does for me makes me happier and happier.  

To see that every bit of love, every drop of love you sprinkle down on the lives of others, has an impact.I believed,this time round,I am not confused with my feelings.I am incredibly fortunate to have someone who loves me so much and make me happy.